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LIAR, LUNATIC, OR LORD May 6, 2013 C.S. Lewis wrote in his book ‘Mere Christianity’, “I’m trying here to prevent anyone from saying the really foolish thing that people often say about Him: (they say) ‘I’m read... Read More >

WALKING THROUGH THE VALLEY May 5, 2013 I walk through this affliction’s shadow. Shaded. I walk through knowing that a shadow cannot touch me. Guarded. I walk through with balanced steps. Calculated. Yea, though I walk th... Read More >

NO MORE ROLLERCOASTER WAYS May 4, 2013 I’m on a steady roll because the Shepherd has restored to me my soul. I’ve casted all my cares upon Him which actually means “to roll something that will most likely roll back upon you.” So... Read More >

I’M ALL IN OR ALL OUT May 3, 2013 I played the fence most of my young life, but that divided stance left me torn. And now, I refuse to feel torn in any regard and for any reason. Relationships. Faith. Emotions. Devotions. I’m... Read More >

CAN’T RIGHT MY WRONG May 2, 2013 I’m not trying to right my wrong! Wish I could but that’s impossible! I can only do right because of my wrong. The wrong remains in the backdrop, but only to contrast the right that has been... Read More >

EARLY MORNING TORTURE May 1, 2013 It was only 5 a.m. and I was already seated at the front of my tier at the lone table. Books in place and already prayed up. The Word opened up to Proverbs Chapter 22. The night light overhead is... Read More >

WHAT IS TRUE LOVE? April 30, 2013 Call me love struck, but I attest that Cupid has nothing to do with these feelings. Cupid’s arrows come from the outside and pierce in, but this type of love is cultivated from the inside and pours... Read More >

CRICKETS AND CRITICS April 29, 2013 The interesting thing about a critic is how they are very similar to a cricket. Think about it. When no one is around, what does a cricket do? It chirps relentlessly. Sometimes you will hear just... Read More >

PLEASE JOIN ME April 28, 2013 Being stuck on past problems and past pains will always keep you from your present purpose and present power. God cannot walk you forward in your circumstances if you are continually looki... Read More >

A WORD FOR MY MOTHER April 27, 2013 Administrator Note: The following was Matt’s May submission for his monthly column ‘PRISON TALK’ which appears in the Cape May County Herald Newspaper. You can’t see them coming d... Read More >

SELLING DRUGS April 26, 2013 The genius comment of the day--"While everyone else is out there allowing the drugs to sell themselves, I'm out there selling the drugs and making that cheese." My tier-mate went on to expl... Read More >

LOST CONTROL April 25, 2013 He who controls your emotions controls you. ... Read More >

NOTHING INTENTIONAL HERE April 24, 2013 Recently the Press of Atlantic City did a feature story highlighting my journey in prison. The author wrote, "Whether it's intentional or not, he appeared to be setting himself up for a successful... Read More >

HIDDEN TREASURES April 23, 2013 What do you do when you are traveling toward treasure and come across trash? This was a question/analogy that Pastor Victor Hudson dropped on us last week. He explained how it is the highway (which... Read More >

WHAT MAKES A WICKED INDIVIDUAL? April 22, 2013 Dealing with weak individuals is one thing, but dealing with wicked individuals is an entirely different conflict. In a setting where interaction is mandatory, the separation of man is in his action.... Read More >

SELF EXAMINATION April 21, 2013 Am I going in the right direction? ... Read More >

PARENTS ON VACATION April 20, 2013 My parents are off to Florida! It is their annual family vacation and is more than well deserved. This will be the 4th one in my absence which attests to the sands of time pouring out quickly... Read More >

A WORD OF ENCOURAGEMENT TO SOMEONE IN NEED April 19, 2013 I want to encourage the person who thinks they're insignificant. I want to let you know that you are more than valuable, you are irreplaceable. There is nobody like you. Non-negotiable. God has... Read More >

A GLIMPSE OF MY WORLD April 18, 2013 I sit here in my plastic green chair facing my bunk bed. I stare to the back of the tier. My word processor propped up by a box on my mattress. My bunkie sleeps only 2 feet above my head. Coughing... Read More >

ONE DAY AT A TIME April 17, 2013 I am writing this blog on 4/7/13 which is 39 months incarcerated to the day, and it only feels like 39 days! Exaggeration? Nope! It's called appreciation. "Be anxious for nothing, but in e... Read More >

NEED MORE HOURS IN A DAY April 16, 2013 I know this may sound crazy to you, but I need more time in my day (sometimes) to get everything done that I feel is on my plate. And the key word is "feel" obviously, because though I feel like I am... Read More >

STRENGTHENING OUR COMMITMENT April 15, 2013 It's gotta be hard. And it's supposed to be hard. But knowing it's gonna be hard and it's supposed to be hard does not relieve the feelings and frustrations of it being hard. I saw my "better half"... Read More >

MOM'S WORDS April 14, 2013 I'm coming to the close of another book project which has been the most creative and innovative concept yet. It's based on an accountability line that my mom use to drop on me before I would leave... Read More >

DON'T TAKE HIS NAME IN VAIN April 13, 2013 So many say it now as a curse, but one day they will wish they said it as a blessing. The name above all names, yet man uses it as a name that is recklessly said in vain. Sean and I were a... Read More >

BE ALL THINGS TO ALL MEN April 12, 2013 We have this new "group" meeting on the tier and we call it, "Tier SEVEN'S A&I Session." We gather at 3:30 PM every day, and it is predominantly members of the Fellowship Group that meets at 10:30... Read More >

ISOLATION IS FINE April 11, 2013 Sometimes I'm just not up to touch base with anyone on the outside. I know this is selfish of me, and I usually don't let these thoughts get the best of me. But here is my position. I'm here! And... Read More >

A VISIT FROM MY BROTHERS April 10, 2013 (This blog was written 3/31/13 Easter Sunday) Beautiful Resurrection Sunday visit from my two brothers --Michael and Anthony. It was actually the first time I saw the both of them together... Read More >

THE SUN IS OUT! April 9, 2013 It's supposed to reach 60 degrees today! And we have afternoon recreation in the big yard. I have not been outside in several months, and when I say several months, I mean since October. It's going... Read More >

TGIF April 8, 2013 TGIF! Thank God I'm Free! Jesus' SEVEN last words uttered from Calvary! "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do"(Luke 23:34). Mercy came out of Him, because tha... Read More >

BROKEN HEART SYNDROME April 7, 2013 Some people wake up talking. But not just talking, complaining. They certainly get their rest when it comes to sleep, but when they are up, their presence is exhausting. I know they just want to... Read More >

I AM CONSUMED April 6, 2013 I just want to encourage people. I just want to impregnate their soul with the gospel of Jesus Christ. I wish no harm upon anyone, even those who hate me or misunderstand me. Because when you know... Read More >

SORE EYES April 5, 2013 My eyes have been hurting lately. Throbbing. I'm not sure if it's from reading in the dark during the early AM hours before the tier lights come on or for some other unknown reason. Regardless,... Read More >

IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO FATHOM April 4, 2013 I'm blown away that it's already April. I am continually astonished how this time has not been felt--like the average inmate attests to its depressive effects. But why would it? I'm a child of the... Read More >

CONGRATULATIONS KELLY!! April 3, 2013 Watching Sean vicariously experience his sisters success is the true definition and picture of family. Ever since he heard the good news via phone, he has not stopped boasting about her... Read More >

HEARTFELT SUPPORT FOR PASTOR RICK WARREN April 2, 2013 (Written on 4/12/13) BLUF! is an acronym for (B)ottom (L)ine (U)p (F)ront! A business term, but I'm going to borrow it as a way to spiritually discern. And the "bottom line" is this! ... Read More >

4th BIRTHDAY IN PRISON April 1, 2013 My fourth birthday in prison! I can end my blog with that sentence alone because of the fact that I'm still writing free thoughts from prison. I'm still rejoicing in the day--for the Lord has made... Read More >

EYES ARE REVEALING March 31, 2013 Have you ever looked into the eyes of someone and saw nothing? Not even hurting eyes or weeping eyes, but dark eyes. Eyes can say so much, yet you are unsure how to translate them because you're only... Read More >

PASTOR VIC'S TIMELY ENCOURAGEMENT March 30, 2013 This past Monday night in Male Discipleship, Pastor Vic said, “Do not let what is behind you, define what is in front of you!” ... Read More >

WHATEVER THE DAY BRINGS March 29, 2013 “O Lord that I may fulfill the purpose and plan that You have for me today. Amen.” The daily agenda that God has for me did not stop because I was incarcerated. In fact, it has been hi... Read More >

BEST TO HOLD BACK WORDS March 28, 2013 I wasn’t speechless because I had nothing to say! I was speechless because nothing that I had to say would have registered with the audience. Parrots are known to repeat phrases or words, not... Read More >

TWO CONVICTS REUNITE March 27, 2013 We have an amazing brother on the tier we call Philly, who keeps everyone around him laughing. He is an old school convict that knows Little John from their Rahway prison days. So when Philly first... Read More >

SARAH'S HOME March 26, 2013 Sarah will be here this afternoon. 90 minutes of blitz that challenges us to compact 90 days worth of life, (since I have seen her last), into minute increments. But it is also 90 minutes of bliss... Read More >

LITTLE JOHN'S BACK IN THE HOUSE! March 25, 2013 Little John is back and full of revelation, inspiration, contemplation, and all because of isolation. Almost everyone on the entire tier came to the front entrance to greet and hug him. Picture that... Read More >

WHILE I WAS SLEEPING March 24, 2013 God threw me a bone! Literally! Or better yet, Scripturally! How do I know? “And He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from... Read More >

A SENSELESS KILLING March 23, 2013 I was walking back to my unit yesterday when I passed an inmate named Santana. He saw me and turned around as he walked through the metal detector, as if he had something serious to say to me. And... Read More >

AN OFFER YOU CAN'T REFUSE March 22, 2013 I was just offered the opportunity to move from the madness of dormitory living to the solitude of cell living. But not just any cell, a single cell! They are the most prized living quarters in this... Read More >

REVELATION COMES IN LOSS March 21, 2013 Admin. Note: This blog was originally written on 3/11/13. I heard from Little John today via mail and he sounded great. His uplifted tone can be clearly heard in remarks like, “God ha... Read More >

THE MAN IN THE ARENA March 20, 2013 I’m a gladiator of Grace, not of this land, but fighting in it for life-sake. My life may be for others entertainment, but I’m doing what I know I have to do to survive. Victory is not the end... Read More >

WHAT'S A BLOG ANYWAY? March 19, 2013 What the heck is a blog anyway? I finally know the answer to this question after 3 years of writing them. Obviously I’ve redefined the word BLOGS for a future devotional idea - - (B)alancing (L... Read More >

DROPPING THE 'F' BOMB March 18, 2013 There has not been a single day that has gone by where I have not been subjected to at least thousands upon thousands upon thousands of curse words. And if you think I’m exaggerating, let’s break... Read More >

GRACE LIKE RAIN March 17, 2013 Admin. Note: This was written on 3/7/13. The mail snafu has Matt's writings completely out of order, but we rest that in God's economy--it is all in perfect order! Grace like rain becau... Read More >

MY ROLE AS A DONKEY March 16, 2013 Admin. Note: The following blog was written on Palm Sunday, March 24th. Palm Sunday! I am humbled to know my role as it pertains to the “Triumphant Entry” of Jesus into Jerusalem. ... Read More >

NO CONTROL March 15, 2013 Why worry over circumstances that you cannot control? Why stress the unknown or carry the burden of tomorrow that does not exist? I do much listening during my day, both directly and indir... Read More >

GOOD FRIDAY TO YOU! March 14, 2013 Admin. Note: The following blog was written by former mobster Little John Paladino and we thought it was so poignant that it should run on this very special day of Good Friday-- where our Savior was... Read More >

THANKFUL FOR ALL THOSE WHO PRAY March 13, 2013 TV blasting. Radio's blaring. Nobody's caring. Conversations lewd. Interruptions loud. Sleep. Depression and more sleep. Card playing. Hands pounding. Dominoes slamming. Arguments persisting. ... Read More >

LOCK UP BY LITTLE JOHN March 12, 2013 Admin Note: The following was written by Little John while he was in lock up. We praise God for his testimony and witness even under unjust circumstances. He is a modern day Saul to Paul and... Read More >

ANOTHER LETTER TO SHARE March 11, 2013 Admin Note: While we are awaiting new blogs via snail mail, we hope you see the fruit of your prayers for the men on tier 7. Dear Mrs. Maher, My name is Tommy aka Bread. I am w... Read More >

A NIGHT I WILL NEVER FORGET--FOUR YEARS AGO March 10, 2013 I like to compare my current outlook to a mountain climber getting over a mountain. The climber’s feet are still planted on the obstacle even though he is at the top and looking down. Do... Read More >

CRAZY TEXT IN MY DARKEST HOUR March 9, 2013 This writing is a blast from the past and oh so appropriate for the present! Taking an old writing and making it new: “Where is the time going? It’s already March 2013 (last time I w... Read More >

REGAINING SOME ORDER March 8, 2013 ... Read More >

NOT GONNA HAPPEN March 7, 2013 Conjectures. Opinions. Fake concerns. I’m really not interested in everyone’s empathy in regards to Little John’s untimely departure. Trust me, some are sincere, but many are phony. How do... Read More >

HEAVY HEARTED FOR LITTLE JOHN March 6, 2013 Still no word on Little John, but he has probably been sent out of the building to another institution that has a lock-up unit as of last night. He is already greatly missed and I have already had... Read More >

UNBELIEVABLE CHAOS March 5, 2013 (This was written on March 1, 2013) There was complete and utter chaos in here yesterday! One person’s selfishness tragically altered the entire unit. The uneasy reality of prison is ... Read More >

IMPRISONED BY PEACE: A VIEW APART March 4, 2013 CORE CONVICTION SERIES. Book #5. This one is my favorite book because it is full of contemplations that I never would have without Christ in me. It invites you in to look into the scope of... Read More >

ROSES AND THORNS March 3, 2013 CORE CONVICTION SERIES! Book #4 of 5. Just a preview folks. This is ‘from PIECE to PEACE’ with the subtitle ‘To Be Whole.’ Enjoy the PEACE…. PART I: ROSES & THORNSRead More >

WHAT HOLDS YOU UP? March 2, 2013 CORE CONVICTION SERIES! #3 of 5. This preview is from the manuscript that is to be titled ‘ProPs’ and subtitled ‘Support for Nothing NEW under the Sun’. It is a mixture of PROverbs and... Read More >

ARE YOU LISTENING? March 1, 2013 The CORE CONVICTION SERIES continued. This writing comes from the manuscript that is to be titled ‘parABLE lesson; and sums up the many deaf ears that are missing God’s voice because of their own... Read More >

DEAR INMATE: THIS TOO SHALL PASS February 28, 2013 This is what I call "CORE CONVICTION SERIES" Week. It is a preview of some writings I’ve compiled in manuscript form that will be released at a future date--God willing. The letter below is from... Read More >

PLANTING MY GARDEN February 27, 2013 I planted a garden almost 2 years ago; with one seed actually. I ploughed at first to make sure the soil could be cultivated, and this was probably the hardest part in the process. Not hard because... Read More >

ANOTHER LETTER TO MY PARENTS February 26, 2013 My mom recently relayed a letter to me that was written to her and my father from someone who just left here. The clear truth, though, is the reality that anything admirable seen in me or written... Read More >

MUST BE BROKEN TO BE OPEN February 25, 2013 Excellence is not an external condition, it’s an internal position. That’s why excellent speech or appearance is not becoming to a fool. And no matter how lofty one’s words or presentation may... Read More >

TOO MUCH FAITH TALK FROM ME... February 24, 2013 So I hear I’m on a holy kick or a faith-capade. Get it? A word play on escapade! I know, I’m laughing too! Anyway, I enjoy hearing such “chatter,” not because it infects me, but powerfully... Read More >

TIME IS MOVING ME CLOSER... February 23, 2013 02/20/2013 ... Read More >

YOU WANT GANGSTER... February 22, 2013 I’ve met so many Killa’s along the way so far on this prison journey. Actually, let me elaborate on that statement. I have met so many inmates with the nick-names of Killa thus far. Killa C. ... Read More >

GONNA RUN A MARATHON February 21, 2013 Some people just don’t get it. I’m not saying that they won’t ever get it, but if this experience does not make you get it, I can’t imagine what will. What’s next after being at the bottom... Read More >

DON’T RESPOND TO IDLE CHATTER February 20, 2013 So much chatter and I can hear it through the walls. It always finds its way in, like an air-draft through a door JAM or window PAIN. Chatter can be coldly felt, causing chills of confusion, unless... Read More >

I'VE ACCOMPLISHED MORE BY DOING NOTHING February 19, 2013 ... Read More >

I SEE DEAD PEOPLE February 18, 2013 The most overwhelming observation that I’ve seen in this place by far is the state of man upon his first wake- up call in the morning. It supersedes the volatile vulgarity and volcanic-like... Read More >

ENOUGH SAID.... February 17, 2013 (CONTINUED FROM YESTERDAY) We have an older man on our tier (Pop) and his closest junior is 51 years-- to his 70. When he was 19, the second oldest on the tier was zero! Regardless of w... Read More >

CAN'T JUSTIFY THIS.... February 16, 2013 So picture this scenario: The entrance-way into our bathroom is no wider than 4 feet. When you first walk into the bathroom, you will pass 2 showers, side-by-side, only closed off by a curtain. So... Read More >

RUNNING ON EMPTY February 15, 2013 I have been having a very hard time writing my blog for the past few weeks. I’m not sure why, but I know my focus has been on a few other projects I’m currently working on. So when I sit down to... Read More >

GOD'S SIGNATURE IS ON IT! February 14, 2013 Why wouldn’t He do it! He said it. I believe it. So it’s already done. The TROUBLE was on display --so that the delivery can be the same. God is looking for people to show off His glory on... Read More >

WHO DO YOU CLAIM TO BE? February 13, 2013 YOU CAN’T CLAIM TO BE A Gladiator of Grace WITHOUT battling with gladness on your face. Nor can you be an Agitator of Accountability without owning up to your mistakes and shouldering your... Read More >

COMPOSURE REGAINED February 12, 2013 OK! I regained my composure from yesterday’s venting blog. Like pressure released from a boiling pot by removing its lid, so did I let my steam out last night in prayer when I shut my lids. Now... Read More >

MAN ON FIRE February 11, 2013 I’m exhausted. I really am. Just disappointed actually. But this type of frustration has nothing to do with me and everything to do with what I see. I just want to scream sometimes at the top of... Read More >

JUST SAYIN... February 10, 2013 Thirty-seven (37) months incarcerated, so here is my complete discourse about my time thus far. I believe it, I feel it, so I must say it! “And since we have the same spirit of faith, Read More >

BE STILL IN MY THOUGHTS February 9, 2013 A majority of inmates live during the day on idle words and vain conversations. They do not like to be alone, so they settle for any type of company that will engage into chatter. Constant... Read More >

MAIL THAT MAKES ME SMILE February 8, 2013 (This was originally written on the 5th.) The number 5 is the biblical number for grace. And that is exactly what the 'mail call' rained down on me today. A downpour. Not just one, but ... Read More >

BEWARE OF BOREDOM February 7, 2013 I can’t stop. I won’t stop. One glance around in this environment however, makes you want to stop. I can’t. I won’t. I must not feed into the atmospheres anesthesia. Loss of body... Read More >

MAIL DELAY February 6, 2013 Admin Note: Our blogs are still caught in the mail snafu due to the holiday weekend. We will be back on track tomorrow. But until then, we hope you are enjoying hearing some of the inmate's... Read More >

A LION'S HEART February 5, 2013 Admin. Note: The following letter was written by Little John, a former mob enforcer for the Genovese crime family. Before Christ came into his life, he had spent the bulk of his years in and out of... Read More >

AN UNEXPECTED LETTER February 4, 2013 Admin. Note: The following letter came to the Maher family last week. Since we are temporarily awaiting new blogs to be delivered by mail, we thought it would a blessing to share some of the personal... Read More >

NO PASSION FOR SPORTS February 3, 2013 Superbowl Sunday! My 4th one in prison. But none of these things move me. I won’t be watching the game, not because it’s prison, but because I have not watched a game all season --nor seasons... Read More >

FLEEING INFECTION February 2, 2013 Infectors are the worst caliber of inmates in this environment. For one, you cannot so easily avoid an Infector because of the fact that you are locked up in the same dormitory with them. You can... Read More >

OLD GUYS OUT; NEW GUYS IN February 1, 2013 We’ve had 10 new inmates enter our tier in the past few weeks. That’s a 25% change-over of the environment. Of those who left, a few were released.; a few were sent to programs by parole; and a... Read More >

FOR YOUR EYES ONLY January 31, 2013 FOR YOUR EYES ONLY (Written to be posted for Valentine's Day) Today is Valentine's Day! My Valentine is half-a-world away. But my love is a traveler and will make its way to her. ... Read More >

KEEPING THE LINES OF COMMUNICATION OPEN January 30, 2013 It is an absolute reality that the separation of prison strains an inmate’s lines of communication. Like the end of a shoe-string that loses the aglet (the tip), an inmate’s means of... Read More >

THE BELT GETS TIGHTER January 29, 2013 This is the last week in January-- and another notch off of the “Belt of Twelve.” With each passing month, the belt gets tighter because the waist of the years’ time is resultantly shrinking. ... Read More >

RUMOR HAS IT January 28, 2013 I heard that my blog on 01/10/2013 was so enigmatic that by the end of the day, Sarah was supposedly pregnant and I was the soon-to-be father of a daughter named Grace Faith! Frankly, that is sad. ... Read More >

WORK THE FEET January 27, 2013 I’m on this new kick! Soccer player turned Instigator. I took pride in how I used to perform athletically. Whether it was at the position of striker or defender. The goal was to have more goals... Read More >

MY DAD'S SURPRISE PARTY January 26, 2013 Today is my dad's 60th birthday, and my family had a surprise party for him that was planned well in advance of this date. I believe they began planning it back in November; and regardless of my... Read More >

I CAN REST January 25, 2013 I strike several keys on my word processor, stringing unrelatable words together, and then I pause. Backspace. Backspace. I hold down the backspace key until the screen is blank again. If the... Read More >

YOU CAN'T FAKE REAL January 24, 2013 You can fake a lot of things in life. Actually, you can fake almost everything in life. Many say ‘fake it til you make it.’ But that’s too hard and too exhausting, trying to be something you�... Read More >

AN INTERVIEW January 23, 2013 “I do not set aside the grace of God” (Galatians 2:21). I just completed an interview with a reporter, which can be summed up concisely and humbly by 2 words: GOD’s GRACE. The fact... Read More >

POURING DOWN MINISTRY January 22, 2013 Mom and mom came to see me yesterday - - my biological and inherited mothers. Both beauty aparts. Both with pure hearts. They also spoke to ‘my rib’ prior to the visit via face-time (if you... Read More >

FACING SORROW January 21, 2013 What is the prerequisite to plumb the depths of your own soul - - sorrow! But only if handled in a godly manner. When you can get a hold on your sorrow and learn to understand ‘him’, you will... Read More >

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH January 20, 2013 I’m not exactly sure how many times you should allow someone to take your time and energy before you turn them down. Do you ever turn them down? I struggle with this. I frustrate myself with this... Read More >

TO THE READERS OF THE BLOG January 19, 2013 It’s truly humbling when other inmates housed in this prison approach me to tell me they read the blogs and to thank me for what I am doing. I always think, ‘Thank me? For what?’ Th... Read More >

RUMORS SPREAD QUICKLY January 18, 2013 It’s very hard to decipher the information that’s spread in prison as truth or rumor. You hear all kinds of “jail-house news” and if you don’t have your ear to the floor, grounded, it is... Read More >

PEACE THAT PASSES ALL UNDERSTANDING January 17, 2013 HOW could half the month be gone already when I feel like we were just saying, “Happy New Year”? P….. HOW could I have passed the three year mark of my incarceration, only to feel li... Read More >

INSTIGATOR! January 16, 2013 I figured it out, I am an instigator! An instigator of integrity, and when in Christ, it is my only desire to move men in the right direction with a righteous connection. As much as I’d like to... Read More >

SAD BUT TRUE January 15, 2013 I couldn’t help but to watch and listen; even though I’d prefer not to hear such desperation so early in the morning. I even tried to delve back into my studies, but the disturbance before me was... Read More >

SAD BUT TRUE January 15, 2013 I couldn’t help but to watch and listen; even though I’d prefer not to hear such desperation so early in the morning. I even tried to delve back into my studies, but the disturbance before me was... Read More >

THAT WHICH DIVIDES January 14, 2013 We are separated by a computer screen. Think about it! The words that you are reading on your side are not seen differently on my side. And though I cannot show you the personification of these... Read More >

I'M FREE January 13, 2013 TGIF! Already Friday again and it’s still (T)hank (G)od (I)’m (F)ree! Open doors or closed doors, my God is the manufacturer of ALL doors. He frames them for His purpose, so if one shuts, I can... Read More >

COME ON WE'RE SLEEPIN January 12, 2013 I thought we were getting a belated visit from Santa Claus last night, so when I heard the loud jingles, I jumped up to catch a glimpse of Ol’Jolly Saint Nick. But to my disappointment, it was far... Read More >

BAIT THAT LURES January 11, 2013 Not only have I learned to control my thoughts in an unparalleled way, with a “no days unalert” mentality, I have also learned how to regulate my eyes. Being “governed by God” requires every... Read More >

PREGNANT WITH POSSIBILITIES January 10, 2013 Web Admin. Note: Today's picture was from the first time Matt and Sarah met each other in 2009. We’re expecting! No need to congratulate Sarah and I because it was God who allowed... Read More >

THE NIGHT BEFORE SENTENCING January 9, 2013 (The following was originally written on January 7th, 2013) I laid in my bed last night and persuaded my mind to get back in bed on this same night three years ago. ‘You don’t have to ... Read More >

WHAT'S THE FORECAST? January 8, 2013 God knows what’s best for me, so I’m not trippin’ over where I’m at or where I’m going. Why stress over what God wants to bless over? He wants to cover us with His provisions and this �... Read More >

BE CAREFUL HOW YOU READ January 7, 2013 Can you hear the tone of my written words? Is my tone laughable? Applaudable? Audible? It is often the pitch that gives away the feelings of our spoken words, so how can we tell the pitch of our... Read More >

HONORING HER CALLING January 6, 2013 You know you’re in love when just the name on the outside of the envelope can make you feel like you’re in a different ozone layer. The feelings take you higher. And even with a letter written... Read More >

WHAT SPILLS OUT... January 5, 2013 I spill my mind out day after day with the desire to inspire. I hope this wisdom is like wine and intoxicates your mind; but also please know that it is not mine. I don’t pour all of its contents... Read More >

GO AGAINST THE GRAIN January 4, 2013 It’s Groundhog’s Day. The same hogs fenced into the same grounds. The same behaviors. The same conversations. The same prison call-outs and movement schedules. The same wallowing and eating. ... Read More >

HAVEN'T SLEPT IN THREE YEARS January 3, 2013 I came to the arrested conclusion last night - - I have not really slept in prison, I’ve just rested. Hour after hour I looked at the plastic watch wrapped around the metal bar at the head of my... Read More >

A PRECIOUS CAPTURED MEMORY January 2, 2013 Some of the best gifts we can possibly receive are moments in time. Captured memories. Stilled beauties. On the day after Christmas, cards were plenty in th... Read More >

ALL THINGS NEW January 1, 2013 New day. New Year. New thoughts. New. Forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead. I’m no longer the same person that family, friends, and... Read More >

FAREWELL 2012 December 31, 2012 My final written thoughts for the year of 2012. Consider it my exit speech. A farewell statement. Hello 2013! Gratefully, the pleasure has been all mine and I thank you for joining me in... Read More >

TWO DEGREES December 30, 2012 I graduated from the Fox School of Business at Temple University with a BS in Business Administration and a concentration in Legal Studies. In other words, I got myself a prestigious business degree,... Read More >

PROCINCTUS: READY FOR WAR December 29, 2012 It amazes me how many of my peers will wonder why their day is cursed - - meanwhile completely missing the fact that they began their day cursing. When the first words out of your heart are curse... Read More >

ALWAYS AT THE TOP December 28, 2012 It’s simple! Actually, it’s chronologically logical. It’s when you discover that nothing can come between Jesus and You. Zero (0). Zilch. Nothing And when zero is between (J)esus and (Y... Read More >

CAN'T FAKE REAL December 27, 2012 (This blog was written on Christmas Eve) It may be just another day within these walls, but I know Christmas is within my heart. Because of the season, many get depressed behind these wal... Read More >

PRIDE IS A BEAST December 26, 2012 Nobody has to tell me to wake up at 4:50 a.m. Nobody has to remind me. Nobody has to convince me of the potent and dynamic silences that the early morning offers. I experienced this discipline on... Read More >

SOAR LIKE AN EAGLE December 25, 2012 My Sarita has touched down in Italy! Safe and sound in mind, body, and spirit. She is doing what she has to do, accepting her calling-- regardless if it seems foreign to others. The world will... Read More >

A DADDY'S HEART FOR HIS SON December 24, 2012 More than any time of the year, Christmas is the hardest for an inmate. Those with young children not only feel inadequate to provide, but they know that they are missing that special Christmas glow... Read More >

BLIND DATE/BLIND FAITH December 23, 2012 Going over edits for one of my recently finished manuscripts with Little John is beyond priceless. Not only was he an eye-witness to many of the prison side stories contained in it, but he can... Read More >

A GRAVEYARD December 22, 2012 Prison is a graveyard with grave minds set in their grave-stone ways. Like the dates carved into the head-stone at a cemetery, many only want to remember this time in reference to "arrival and... Read More >

THE ONLY SOLUTION December 21, 2012 .....when we come back, we will search for the solution for making all of our schools a little safer?” So says, the TV show Good Morning America. I personally believe that the moment we ... Read More >

A SURPRISE CHRISTMAS PRESENT December 20, 2012 I just received the most attractive and PRESENTable gift that I have ever been given. It was an early Christmas surprise, beautifully wrapped around brown eyes. And I am not gonna act like I had it... Read More >

SEVEN YEARS WITHOUT MY BROTHER December 19, 2012 Written on 12/15/2012 It’s been SEVEN years since my oldest brother John David Maher, Jr. passed to the other side of death-- which is really where true life exists. My family and I rejo... Read More >

WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS WORLD? December 18, 2012 (This blog was written on 12/14/12 after--THE HORRIFIC MASSACRE OF INNOCENT LITTLE CHILDREN) There are no words that can be said that will make today’s devastation any less appalling. Wo... Read More >

WHAT'S INTEGRITY GOT TO DO WITH IT? December 17, 2012 I wrote about what I called the "perversity versus integrity” showdown from October 15-17th. ... Read More >

MY HEART ACHES December 16, 2012 I can’t explain these feeling to anyone but God. I mean, I can, but it is only God who knows exactly what I mean. My heart aches and it has nothing, and I mean NOTHING, to do with me. It is... Read More >

GET UP December 15, 2012 Based on the world’s evaluation system, my tragic mistake should have defeated me. I should be down and out. The ten count has played out. All of those predictions could have buried me, but... Read More >

THE POWER OF BLEACH December 14, 2012 Bleach in prison! Oh how troublesome she is! Men fight and argue over her because she is not always given freely. But when the Corrections Officer (C.O.) shows her off, grown men begin to bite each... Read More >

MY TATTOOS December 13, 2012 The ink on the pages of the Bible come alive only if the words are applied. If I leave the words and verses on the paper when the door of the Bible closes, I am no better than Satan. He, too,... Read More >

WHAT'S IN A NUMBER? December 12, 2012 35 months incarcerated – Proverbs 3:5 You know I like me that number 7! The number "7" is God’s number of rest, perfection, completion. It’s sanctified in God’s eyes. Set apart.... Read More >

MERRY CHRISTMAS December 11, 2012 The following is Matt's Christmas column that will run in the Herald this week. God bless all of our faithful readers for your love, encouragement, support, and prayers. FROM STREET ... Read More >

IN TEARS December 10, 2012 This actually had me in tears. Last night, Tommy was in my area and we were talking about how fast time is going. He arrived here in February of this past year and because of his recent parole... Read More >

TOMMY AKA BREAD IS BACK December 9, 2012 Guess who’s bizack? Tommy aka Bread! He was laid up on his trip to court for over 25 days due to Hurricane Sandy which caused the roof of the court house to be torn off. Since he was gone from... Read More >

PAST MEMORIES December 8, 2012 Sometimes, when I am laying in my bed, in the still of the night, my mind travels like a time-machine, back to past memories. It is then that I force myself into a self-appointed psychology... Read More >

ALL IS WELL IN DECEMBER December 7, 2012 Already seven days into December, and it is never too late to remember! Where I’ve been and how far I’ve come. Who I was then and who I am now. I may not be where I want to be, but neither am I... Read More >

MAIL DELIVERY December 6, 2012 I think I just set a prison world record for the amount of letters written in one day. SIXTEEN! If we followed these letters, where would we go? We would certainly hit Eastern University in... Read More >

A VISIT FROM MY FUTURE FAMILY December 5, 2012 Today I have a visit with my future in-laws and 2 out of 3 of my inherited sisters. Last time I saw any of them, except Momma Peterson, was 3-years-ago to this very month. Much has changed since... Read More >

THE WISDOM OF SOLOMON December 4, 2012 Talking to a guy on my tier who is getting out in less than 40 days, after serving 17 years straight in prison, makes me realize that “time well served” doesn’t mean that one “served time well... Read More >

DEAR PROFESSOR December 3, 2012 I would like to thank Professor Hardenburg and her Chemistry class at Eastern University, who took the time to watch and then respond to “my story.” Each and every letter I received, especially... Read More >

A HUMILIATING SHAKE DOWN December 2, 2012 I don't want to be explicit, but this is the only way I can explain it. Please know that I always intend to share to glean from the experience and I am not complaining --it is what it is. ... Read More >

YOU DON'T DESERVE A VOICE... December 1, 2012 Administrator Note: Today's photo (December 15th real time) is in honor of Matt's oldest brother who went home to be with the Lord on this day in 2005. He is deeply missed. I recen... Read More >

BARREN AND DESOLATE November 30, 2012 I've been told that my words and experiences have a mystique about them. Esoteric. I use to think that anything coming from prison, behind the wall, was desolate. Barren. Dry. So it was... Read More >

BORROWED TIME November 29, 2012 Administrator Note: The picture is in honor of Matt's oldest brother John who died December 15, 2005 leaving his precious 4-month-old daughter. We are indeed on "borrowed time." During this Advent... Read More >

LOOK--A SPIDER'S WEB November 28, 2012 It’s a must to keep moving in this place, mentally and spiritually, for the walking dead desire to take the life out of you, physically and emotionally. Many just wait sluggishly for their release,... Read More >

DON'T GET TOO CLOSE November 27, 2012 We currently have an older inmate on the tier who is continuously ill. Coughing. Gagging. Spitting. Choking. And to compound his ailments, he is a smoker. With bronchitis in diagnosis,... Read More >

A HOLE IN MY HEART November 26, 2012 Admin. Note: Today's photo is in honor of Matt's brother John who died on December 15th, 2005 at age 28. Today I feel abSOULutely excellent. I’ve placed my hand over my heart and felt th... Read More >

MARRY WHO? November 25, 2012 There is an amazing story in the Bible that is very hard to understand, but it depicts the depth of God's love for us. It is where God told the prophet Hosea to marry a prostitute named Gomer. Now... Read More >

WHAT MUST MY PARENTS THINK November 24, 2012 I don’t know what it’s like for them; nor can they fully comprehend what this is like for me. I can tell them and assure them and even implore them that all is gratefully well. But I’m their... Read More >

GRATEFUL November 23, 2012 This was written on 11/22/12 GRATEFUL “Happy Thanksgiving!”, not from prison, but from a grateful mind. A grateful mind is a great mind, and one which thinks to thank. Thi... Read More >

THANKFUL FOR ALL OF YOUR PRAYERS November 22, 2012 I'm still under the weather, but I have learned that no matter the weather, I must “weather the weather.” “Whether the weather be good, whether the weather be not. Whether the weathe... Read More >

THE NUISANCE IS BACK November 21, 2012 And the TV is back! With the push of a single button, some inmates went from deprived to revived. It is unbelievable to watch the psyche of some being rejuvenated by animation on a screen. At once,... Read More >

FACING LOSS November 20, 2012 Losing a good guy is always a bruise to the Fellowship Group, especially when the open bed can easily be filled with a cancer. Bruises eventually will heal, but a cancerous individual eats away at... Read More >

STRUCK OUT BY THE FLU November 19, 2012 I’m not so sure my immune system appreciates the biosphere-like setting that prison confines us to. Mostly every sickness that enters the general population comes from the civilians and staff... Read More >

THEY TOOK WHAT? November 18, 2012 We recently lost our TV on the unit. Well, we didn’t lose it, they (the administration) rightfully took it. And I’m thankful for it! Just so you understand prison life, the back of ... Read More >

I AM INFECTED November 17, 2012 I rarely write my blog on how I feel, but rather write more based on my faith and facts. My feelings are often vented when I am distressed in here, but it has nothing to do with stress in me. I am... Read More >

STANDING ON YOUR HEAD November 16, 2012 I have heard many inmates say, "I can do this time standing on my head." But like the blood that rushes to one’s head from doing a head-stand, it will leave your legs numb. So maybe that would... Read More >

A PHONE CALL TO SARAH November 15, 2012 I called Sarah last night in Hawaii! Yes, a pre-paid call from "prison" in New Jersey to “paradise” in Hawaii. I’m not saying Hawaii itself is paradise, although that can be argued. I’m... Read More >

MORE ON THIS "UPSIDE DOWN KINGDOM OF PRISON" November 14, 2012 So here in the Upside-down Kingdom, the court jester confirms the outLAW of the land, by showing first-hand how wrong is right in here and ignorance makes one wise. But to be a wise man or a magician... Read More >

GOING FORWARD IS BACKWARDS November 13, 2012 The Upside-Down Kingdom - - prison - - where the hierarchy is an anarchy. It’s supposed to be under the law, but its decree is outlaw. Without law. The violent don’t even have to take it by... Read More >

WORDS HAVE NUTRITIONAL VALUE November 12, 2012 I feel like I have to write something profound every single day, but truth-be-told, the fact that I’m even producing anything from prison is elaborately profound. Even if it were just a “free... Read More >

BRING VALUE TO OTHERS November 11, 2012 Dear Journal, I am determined to be an asset wherever I go this day. I have purposed in my heart to bring value to those I come into contact with in word and deed. I know that if I live m... Read More >

THE BEST BIRTH CONTROL November 10, 2012 Sean and I both made isolated decisions that resulted in this present isolation. We were both reckless for certain, and we both publicly thank God that He has still allowed us to be used for His... Read More >

TAKE OFF THE MASK November 9, 2012 Having the immeasurable blessing of seeing men change right before your very eyes is undeniably worth this time in prison. Besides, what is temporary time compared to an eternal destination? ... Read More >

THANKFUL GOD PLAYS CHESS AND NOT CHECKERS November 8, 2012 This a very long and intricate story made as short as possible. I did 14 months of my prison time with former NBA All-Star Jayson Williams where we bonded and sharpened each other like iron.... Read More >

ADVERSITY IS A BRIDGE, WHY MAKE IT A BURDEN? November 7, 2012 Adversity is a bridge. So why when trouble hits do we try to swim our way through it? Treading water and breast stroking, ultimately leads to a stroke. Exhaustion sets in when we attempt... Read More >

PRIDE COMES BEFORE A FALL... November 6, 2012 I am sitting here watching yet another tier-mate get packed up to go to lock-up. The demise of some of my fellow inmates can almost be predicted at times. Everyone knows when an inmate is veering... Read More >

A BREATH OF FRESH AIR November 5, 2012 It is freezing on the tier right now and I can see my own breath. Hold up a second, how can my breath smell like an ashtray! While it really is freezing on the tier and it's not really my own... Read More >

AN OPEN LETTER TO GRACE November 4, 2012 It’s not that I was taking advantage of her, I just didn’t care to see her or appreciate her. And it’s not that I didn’t know her well, I just didn’t understand her fully. I neglected her... Read More >

A HURRICANE HITS November 3, 2012 (This was written on 10/30) Watching the news and the disastrous effects of Hurricane Sandy from the ark of prison has been quite surreal and unnatural. We certainly heard the wind howling... Read More >

TOTAL TRANSFORMATION November 2, 2012 So yesterday I was telling you about Joe. Joe came in weighing 369 pounds! He was wobbling when he arrived on the tier and suffered from a suffocating condition of sleep apnea. (No offens... Read More >

TIER 2-EASY TO TIER 7 BEAST November 1, 2012 (For more background on Joey read blogs posted March 2nd through 4th) Remember Joey? Probably not, but I wrote about him back on March 2nd to the 4th of this year . If you tAkE the time to... Read More >

DON'T INVITE ME TO YOUR PARTY PLEASE October 31, 2012 There is a party in here almost every single day, but I refuse to go. Not because I’m being the outcast, but because these gatherings will ultimately leave you downcast. Like mice attracted to a... Read More >

NO PEACE October 30, 2012 I"m sorry to say that the constant interaction with people in here is emotionally draining. And when I say constant, I mean every second except in the privacy of the shower. Even when I sleep, I am... Read More >

THE PASSAGE OF TIME October 29, 2012 I was unexpectedly taken back when a Corrections Officer (C.O.) said to Sean in front of me, “I told Matthew a few years ago……” The words, “a few years ago” sounded surreal--and... Read More >

GOING TO LOCK UP October 28, 2012 I’m watching another inmate's stuff getting packed up this very second. His bed is across from mine on what we call the “highway.” As mentioned yesterday, the majority of beds are lined up on... Read More >

NO BOUNDARY LINES October 27, 2012 Nothing is more frustrating than trying to discern who to give your time and energy to and who to set limitations on in a dormitory atmosphere. There are no boundaries set except the invisible ones... Read More >

I LOVE ITALIAN! October 26, 2012 Today we get the long-awaited ‘Incentive Food Package,’ which is a prisoners blessing to GET street food from a pizzeria type restaurant. But the Biblical blessing comes when you can GIVE from... Read More >

PIRACY October 25, 2012 Bishop TD Jakes hit the nail of criticism right on the head this AM on church TV. The message could not have been more applicable based on the past few weeks with the various critics surfacing in the... Read More >

TONGUE ASSAULT October 24, 2012 The possibility of serious physical violence is not as rampant at this facility, as in other prisons. But there is much verbal violence and character assaulting that is continuous in this facility. ... Read More >

SANDPAPER PEOPLE October 23, 2012 It seems that some semblance of composure has been regained on the tier, but the ‘diabolic crew’ remain irritated by what took place last week in the" integrity versus perversity" show down. I... Read More >

A LETTER TO MY BRIDE October 22, 2012 My Future Bride and Princess, I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. Did you know that we can be the best illustration of God’s love on this side of heaven by our marriage? Could th... Read More >

PAST FOOLISHNESS October 21, 2012 It’s amazing how filthy I feel when I speak about some of my past juvenile antics. Telling one such story to Sean this AM, left me troubled. I realize how off I actually was, when I thought... Read More >

TIME TO MAKE A MOVE October 20, 2012 (continued from 10/19/12) I made my move alright. I finished getting shower items out of my locker to make my way to the shower to pray. My flesh wanted to respond to this clown’s anti... Read More >

VERBAL ASSAULT October 19, 2012 I’ve learned that when I can't figure something out on the surface, I must not allow it to fester within me. Such a build up only produces confusion and eventually a contradiction of faith. Not... Read More >

DON'T FIGHT AGAINST SOMEONE WITH NO FUTURE October 18, 2012 I know what it is that has caused such animosity lately to come to the surface, and because it has surfaced, you have to ask yourself, ‘where has it surfaced from?’ Since the “integri... Read More >

I WILL NOT GROW WEARY October 17, 2012 I do my very best to extend myself to every individual on my tier, because though I am free from all men, I have attempted to make myself a servant to all. I know that in order for them to see Jesus... Read More >

CHECKERS OR CHESS? October 16, 2012 Having a “chess” mind over a “checker” mind is only as advantageous as the counsel by which I make my moves. Fortunately, most unstable minds only make one move at a time from one square to... Read More >

I REFUSE.... October 15, 2012 The atrocious word I wrote of yesterday, ‘diabolical’, could not have been more accurate than the way it was personified soon after I had printed out my thoughts. It was perversity at its... Read More >

DIABOLICAL BEHAVIOR October 14, 2012 I use to view the word ‘diabolical’ as humorous mostly because of how it was used in an episode of the Chapelle Show. But the way that word was used in the show is far from the way it is shown... Read More >

MY BEST FOOT FORWARD October 13, 2012 As Little John said recently-- like the sage he doesn’t even know he is-- “Your best foot forward in prison begins at your bunk on your knees.” I love it! Because your best foot forward... Read More >

MY PLEA BARGAIN October 12, 2012 This blog was written on 10/7/12 I think about these passing days in terms of moments only. Yesterday was the 33rd month to the day of my confinement history. And on that day three years ... Read More >

RUN FOR YOUR LIFE October 11, 2012 The stampede down the tier, only moments after church on TV is over is magnetically misaligned. From 7 AM to 8:30 AM, only a few of us are drawn to the words of life and truth that ring through the... Read More >

WORRY IS A FOG October 10, 2012 If worry were fog in here, nobody would be able to see a foot in front of them. Actually, let me re-state that, worry is like fog in here, which “fogs-out” the vision of so many. Tragically,... Read More >

MY BROTHER FROM ANOTHER MOTHER October 9, 2012 I see myself in Sean. I’m sure Sean see’s himself in me. And that’s why our minority gets “along strong” with the majority. With one “eye lock” we are able to secure what the other... Read More >

HARD AS A ROCK October 8, 2012 We’ve made our bed in the rocks and now we must lay in them. A hard comfort, but a humbling complication. We may have hit rock bottom, but it’s the bottom that has taught us about the... Read More >

ANONYMOUS SPOUT OFFS October 7, 2012 The following was a letter written to the newspaper in response to anonymous online "spout off's" that are allowed to flourish in newspapers today: I would like to take this time to expres... Read More >

LONELY EVEN IN A CROWD October 6, 2012 Did you know that it is possible to feel lonely, yet be around people all day? I see it daily, and though we prisoners come in alone and will leave alone, we do not do our time alone. We are around... Read More >

THE ARGUMENT CULMINATES October 5, 2012 “You won’t flip the table,” my fellow inmate said with much mockery in his voice. Later he would insist he was only joking because he thought I was only kidding myself. But I’m no ‘kid’,... Read More >

YO SHOW SOME RESPECT! October 4, 2012 I was so disappointed in myself last night because the Goliath in me wanted to rise up in response to some blatant ignorance. I almost blew my testimony among my peers. It can happen so quick in... Read More >

A HEART HEAVY PRAYER October 3, 2012 O Lord, that I may bless You indeed; I humbly know that I am a sinner and was once a champion at that, but no more! And I thank You for pulling me out of the muck of my ignorance and the mud of my... Read More >

I GOT TO GET UP.... October 2, 2012 “I got to GET UP to get life!” My bed here is far from a coffin, but it might be as hard as one. The two-inch plastic mattress might as well not be between my back and the metal platform called... Read More >

VIOLENT ACTS IN THE SHADOWS October 1, 2012 I always try to make my blogs inspirational. I often do not dwell on the darkness of prison and prefer to have that vignette fade into the back. I much prefer to paint the scene of my heart which... Read More >

DARK VERSUS LIGHT September 30, 2012 Imagine waking up and having nothing to live for and not even a thing to die for? Sleep-walking with no hope. Sleep-talking with no purpose. Nothing to look forward to except chow line. Your day... Read More >

A RESPONSE TO SLANDER September 29, 2012 I think it remarkably sad how some people can become intoxicated by seeing someone else have a tragic fall in life. I have experienced this first-hand. There are those who vindictively pry and prey... Read More >

YOU DISCOURAGED ME September 28, 2012 Every morning I hang a different ‘Quote of the Day’ on the front bulletin board. My peers usually enjoy the variety of quotes - - some are motivational, inspirational, instructional, but all ... Read More >

SAYING GOODBYE September 27, 2012 I’m about to have my last visit with Sarah before she leaves for school in Hawaii for the next 7 months. I shall miss her indeed, but just as I have been for the past 32 months, she too will be... Read More >

RUNNING THE RACE September 26, 2012 I know this is just the beginning, but “this beginning” is in fact the end. Stay with me here! I am talking about the race called life. We don't have to re-run what Christ already has won for... Read More >

HATERS HATE September 25, 2012 I don't understand haters. It has always amazed me, pre and post tragedy in my own life, how it was always the “extremes” that brought out the hate in others. Whether you’ve accomplished... Read More >

MAKING MUSIC EVEN IN PRISON September 24, 2012 This is my piano! And when each musical note is pushed in sequential and melodic order, the sound produced can be seen with the eyes, caught with the mind, and felt in the heart. It’s silent music... Read More >

THE REFINER'S FIRE September 23, 2012 Have you ever felt like you were going from one “refining pot” to another? If so, you should know that God allows this process and it is exact and precise. When the blacksmith was asked how he... Read More >

DON'T LET TOMORROW STEAL YOUR TODAY September 22, 2012 As I was sitting at the table this morning -- contemplating Today, it was Tomorrow that kept nagging in – trying to have his way. “What’s up with you Tomorrow? And why are you invading? The... Read More >

HOW IS MATT DOING? September 21, 2012 People often ask my family “How’s Matt doing?” It is usually with a long face, sadly expressing their condolences over my circumstances. But in spite of their innocence and true concern, it is... Read More >

WANT A DRINK? September 20, 2012 Thirsty Thursday! That’s right, I’m thirsty for the living water of the Word on this day of fasting – ‘Storming the Gates of Heaven for Tier 7’. I used to take part in the world’s �... Read More >

TIME SPENT WITH MY BEAUTIFUL LOVED ONES September 19, 2012 Unfortunately the visit this AM was cut from 90 minutes to 60 minutes. For reasons I do not know, but sometimes the prison movements are delayed because of something going on elsewhere in the... Read More >

MY 28-YEAR-OLD BIBLE September 18, 2012 Administrator Note: John 'Little John' Paladino, a former gangster and tier mate of Matt's, writes about his transformed life under a weekly blog found under the 'blogs' section of this web site. We... Read More >

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY JAIL DAD September 17, 2012 This blog was written on 9/15/12! Today is Little John’s Birthday!! So in honor of my “jail-dad,” I am privileged to write the FOREWORD to his devotional titled “How God Moved My ... Read More >

HOW DO YOU READ ME? September 16, 2012 I'm half-way through September, and something my mom always told me to remember resonates with me on a daily basis: “Matthew,” she would say, “You may be the only bible somebody reads!” And... Read More >

BIG LOSS September 15, 2012 I guess I was not meant to have my last several hours of work, because as soon as I went to “save the work,” I lost the work. I had literally put the finishing touches on it and my word processor... Read More >

RUNNING FOR MY LIFE September 14, 2012 It didn’t take long to see that this shallow conversation was going nowhere and fast. It took only one lap in the prison yard to figure that out, but it took about four laps for me to bail out of... Read More >

DO WHAT YOU DO September 13, 2012 It was very cool this morning on the tier and I was up at 4:45 a.m. to begin my day. I’m certain my friends and family will be astonished at my new appreciation for the morning DEW, DUE to the... Read More >

THE SURPRISE THAT ROCKED A GENTLE GIANT September 12, 2012 It's a beautiful Sunday and I am humbled to be under God's grace. It is the same chaotic environment, but none of this moves me. I am in the same location--in prison, however the prison is not in me... Read More >

NOT A DRY EYE ON THE TIER September 11, 2012 Oh the tears through the years! We had an AWESOME Fellowship Group this morning! I hadn't planned on it going this way, but circumstances changed my plans. You see, September 15th is Li... Read More >

THE HISSING OF GOSSIP September 10, 2012 Ever hear a hissing sound and thought nothing of it? I highly doubt it, because it is usually the hissing sound that tells us something is leaking – like a bike tire. Not too major of a problem,... Read More >

FLEX THOSE MUSCLES September 9, 2012 I’ve always had REAL FAITH, being raised in a Christian household, I just wasn’t exercising it like the muscle that it is, with the REALity that it brings. And when you don’t exercise a muscle... Read More >

SWALLOW MY PRIDE September 8, 2012 “Swallow my pride!” Heck, the more I swallow my pride the more it “puffs up” and remains like fat around my waist. I want nothing to do with pride these days, so instead of telling myself to ... Read More >

MY LAST FREE LABOR DAY September 7, 2012 The following blog was written on 9/3 Labor Day 2012! You can’t tell me nothing about time passing that I have not learned in this passing time. My last free Labor Day was in 200... Read More >

GOD'S AMAZING GRACE TO ME September 6, 2012 I have come to the conclusion that everything that has happened in my life until this very moment has been the necessary dynamics that have made me who I am today. Everything. I. Have. Been. ... Read More >

I'M AN UNCLE AGAIN!!! September 5, 2012 My brother Anthony and sister-in-law Anne had their second son yesterday – Anthony John Maher, 7lbs 12 ounces, and 21 inches long. Congratulations to Anne and Anthony, and to even little Roman for... Read More >

THE ACTUAL MARRIAGE PROPOSAL September 4, 2012 After the prison proposal, both mom's and Sarah drove back to South Jersey and tried to retrieve the beauty of Matt's proposal in their heads. So after scattered success, Matt's mom asked him if he... Read More >

INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW??? September 3, 2012 Our web administrator informed us that we have had so many requests about the "what" and "how" of Sarah and Matt's "prison engagement," so we asked Matt to give us more details..." ENJOY! ... Read More >

FEELING BETTER September 2, 2012 (Continued from yesterday) Alright! I’m back and I have no idea how to describe my conditions from yesterday,. I feel 1000% better and after laying back down after I first got up and pr... Read More >

SICK EPISODE September 1, 2012 I am writing this on the 31st, but since I was unable to write yesterday due to complications, I am reflecting on what happened yesterday, the 30th. I awoke at my new time of 5am and began my day... Read More >

DON'T BE HALF-BAKED August 31, 2012 I feel crisp from the inside out! I know that most cakes bake from the inside out, as each ingredient serves its purpose in the baking process. But previous to any “oven time,” there had to be a... Read More >

FAITH NEEDS NO EXPLANATION August 30, 2012 When you are “engaged” into doing right ALL the time, nothing needs to be said or explained, justified or refrained. And when I say “right ALL the time,” I’m speaking of the only thing... Read More >

REMEMBERING MY MOTHER AND BROTHER TODAY August 29, 2012 THIS BLOG WAS WRITTEN ON SEPTEMBER 1ST " PRISON TIME," BUT IN "REAL TIME"-- TODAY 9/12-- IT IS MATT'S DECEASED BROTHER JOHN'S BIRTHDAY. SO WE ARE POSTING THIS EARLY IN HIS MEMORY.... ... Read More >

STOP BARKING!!! August 28, 2012 Who is the bigger fool, the one who barks or the one who responds to the bark with a bite? And I don’t have to go into specifics about such a rhetorical question, just know that I’m writing this... Read More >

A BEAUTIFUL SHADE OF BROWN August 24, 2012 There is no taint of grey or shades of uncertainty behind this set of browns. And I have fallen deeply in love with them as I am graciously comfortable wearing them, humbled while staring at them,... Read More >

A BODY BEAT DOWN August 23, 2012 I'm waiting on night rec at 7 p.m. where Little John trains me and 4 other guys . He has named this calisthenics work-out “Ridiculous.” He stands off to the side and gives us the routine as... Read More >

SEAN'S FAMILY VISIT DAY AFTER FUNERAL August 22, 2012 I don’t have ALL the answers, but these thoughts are fully and SOULy derived from the Author of Our questions and the Finisher who holds the answers. So I look to Him to expedite this discourse on... Read More >

WANT AN ANSWER TO PRAYER August 21, 2012 Time to pray, but perhaps in an entirely new way – because of the question, “What is prayer?” that some are afraid to say: Prayer is allowing your mind to descend into your heart. T... Read More >

THE EYES REVEAL August 20, 2012 I’ve revved up my wake-up time and now get up anywhere between 5:00 and 5:30 a.m. It is still very dark on the tier, except for 2 overhead dimmed nightlights that offer enough shadowing for the... Read More >

WHO THE HECK CARES ANYWAY August 19, 2012 I feel like I want to take a break from writing. I mean, if I don’t always feel like writing blogs, why would anyone feel like reading them? I don’t even think my close friends and family... Read More >

IT'S A GREAT DAY August 18, 2012 Today is a GREAT day! Nothing else matters. Nothing. Not yesterday’s work ethic, thought process, proverbial words, or deeds done. It is in the day’s confined time that no one is free from, so... Read More >

SEAN'S FINAL GOOD-BYE TO HIS MOM August 17, 2012 Continued from 8/16 “She looked beautiful. Mom looked beautiful,” Sean said to me with a peaceable excitement in his eyes. Eyes that had been mixed with tears of mourning over death a... Read More >

FINAL GOOD-BYE August 16, 2012 I laid on the black top this AM at rec under the glorious sun, only a few feet away from Little John and his work-out crew. I will tell you about why I was “only a few feet away from Little John”... Read More >

COME EAT WITH ME August 15, 2012 My success begins in the morning, and it has EVERTYHING to do with what I bring to the table – LITERALLY! I bring my devotionals, but mainly God’s Word to the front table every morning to... Read More >

HANGING WITH THE BOYS August 14, 2012 I often wonder to myself, “What do people want to hear me write about?” And then I realize that you can’t “hear me” write about anything, but you can see what I write and hopefully, “hear... Read More >

JUST VENTING: WHEN IS ENOUGH, ENOUGH? August 13, 2012 Is there a certain level of patience that I am to strive for? Can I ever be patient enough? When is enough, enough? These are the pondering thoughts of my mind that can often get the best of me. I... Read More >

HELL ON EARTH August 12, 2012 The more hellish behavior I see, the more heavenly minded I must be! Prison is actually an earthly form of hell, but it is often in prison or isolation that God will use the fire to refine our... Read More >

ALL BECAUSE OF STRANGERS August 11, 2012 The blessings continue to flow on this tier and are evidence of the ‘fasting and praying’ that covers Tier 7. Every Thursday, people from around the country, gather in the privacy of their own... Read More >

I'VE BEEN ASSAULTED August 10, 2012 I’ve been assaulted. Over and over and over again. Day after week after month after years now. In every sensory capacity, but instead of my neurons getting defensive and sending negative stimuli... Read More >

TO BE STILL AND YET MOVING August 9, 2012 Every morning after mess (chow time), chaos rules the transitional moments. It is soothingly quiet on the tier for me from 5:45 a.m. to approximately 7:00 a.m. during my devotions, but as soon as... Read More >

THIS HICCUP HAS TAUGHT ME TO BREATHE August 8, 2012 A majority of the activities in an inmate’s day are done to keep one’s mind off of this place. Chess. Dominoes. TV. Magazines. Cards. Excess Sleep. Sewing. Eating. Working out. So many ... Read More >

MY PRINCESS IS SEVEN YEARS OLD August 7, 2012 (This was written on 8/5) Oh My Dearest Alivia! God’s precious gift to the world on this day seven years ago (August 5, 2005). How mature you must have been in God’s economy my little... Read More >

BITTERSWEET August 6, 2012 I feel like it was just yesterday that I was writing about my friends Kelly and Chris in a visit, and once again I was blessed by two more friends today in a visit. The weeks are flying by and it was... Read More >

BURY IT August 5, 2012 One of the biggest hindrances for an inmate that keeps him from moving on with his life before moving on beyond these walls is a “burial hole” called self-pity. Unfortunately, failure to leap... Read More >

DON'T DRINK FROM THE CUP OF gosSIP August 4, 2012 (continued from 8/2/12) There's a proverb that states: “Bad company corrupts good morals,” but this was not the concern of my fellow inmate (the “case worker”) in the yard that I ... Read More >

I'M GONNA LET YOU GO NOW August 3, 2012 "The best things in life are the result of being wounded. Wheat must be crushed before becoming bread, and incense must be burned by fire before its fragrance is set free. The earth must be broken... Read More >

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? August 2, 2012 When I got back to my tier after my work-out, I was agitated at what was said to me in the middle of my work out. Alien talk indeed, but when I thought about my witty remark, I could not help but to... Read More >

BREAKING BREAD August 1, 2012 Today's blog which was a "to be continued"....will run tomorrow. Matt asked that this blog be ran in real time (August 17th) in honor of Bread's sons birthday. You should see 'Bread' now... Read More >

WORKING OUT July 31, 2012 I was on my back doing crunches in the big yard one recent afternoon and the only thing that separated my skin from the scorching hot black top was my laid out shirt. It was about 98 degrees. With... Read More >

PREGNANT WITH POSSIBILITIES July 30, 2012 It's the close of another month and the time continues its steady pace. Likewise, I must too! I’m not “taking my time,” I’m taking my time back! And just as I have been redeemed, so must I... Read More >

THE BE STILL FOUNDATION July 29, 2012 Prior to being sentenced to prison, I spoke to over 7000 students in a three month period in an assembly program called "I'm That Guy." The feedback was always encouraging and calls came in from... Read More >

TRUE FRIENDS July 28, 2012 My best friends from my Temple University days, Kelly and Chris, came to visit me today. One thing about good friends is that they rejoice with you in your celebrations and cry with you in your... Read More >

DEAD TIRED July 27, 2012 I didn't sleep a wink last night. I’m very tired this afternoon, but I’ve learned that when we are unable to fall asleep at night, there’s a bigger reason than perhaps the surface noise. And... Read More >

THE ZOOKEEPERS July 26, 2012 It’s really quite comical to me when a Corrections Officer attempts to relate their job with “doing time” or saying they know what it’s like to be here just because they are here at the prison... Read More >

A STORM HITS July 25, 2012 In this late evening moment, roaring thunder has exploded into the atmosphere with its electrifying cousin of lightning following its audible commands. Interestingly, I was just outside a few hours... Read More >

HUMILIATION July 24, 2012 Quote of the Day: “A friend cannot be known in prosperity, and an enemy will not be hid in adversity.” Ever wonder why harsh words come out of people in the midst of other people’s h... Read More >

ASK MY FRIENDS July 23, 2012 It's hard to believe I have written over 1000 blogs thus far, some make the cut and others are not suitable for society apparently – by momma’s discretion of course. Some are a few pages long,... Read More >

A "NO SHOW" VISIT July 22, 2012 (YAY! BLOGS ARRIVED HOME--SO THIS IS CONTINUED FROM 7/20 BLOG) Ok! So in my 7/20 blog, I was talking about my much anticipated visit with my mom, my future mother-in-law, and a friend from ... Read More >

GREAT THINGS HAPPENING ON THE HOMEFRONT July 21, 2012 For the first time since I began writing, my mom is out of blogs due to the U.S. postal system. (Oh, to only have access to lightning quick technology that you are all use to on the other side of... Read More >

EXCITING VISIT July 20, 2012 I am expecting a visit this afternoon with mi mamma, my mother-in-law, and my sister-in-Christ from Texas. Three beautiful women of great faith with hearts that beat to God’s grace. Numero uno: ... Read More >

MY FOREIGN FRIEND July 19, 2012 I had to laugh out loud at what a friend named Freddie said to me yesterday. Freddie is an older gentleman pushing mid sixties from Peru and he is very wise. We speak often and plenty about life. ... Read More >

FIXING OUR HEARTS ON GOD July 18, 2012 According to today's ‘Streams in the Desert’ devotional, “God is looking for men and women whose hearts are firmly fixed on Him and who will continually trust Him for all He desires to do with... Read More >

TROUBLEMAKER July 17, 2012 This is not a definitive statement, but from what I have witnessed in here, some minds seem incorrigible. Just last night as we prayed before lights out, Little John and I brought up one of the... Read More >

NEED COMPENSATION July 16, 2012 I’ve deeply learned that there is always compensation in every trial……if you are open to accept it. A lot of situations in life just need to be accepted in order for them to be corrected. And... Read More >

THE OTHER SIDE OF NIGHT July 15, 2012 I’ve found that it is on the other side of night that this journey comes to light. Every morning as the sun breaks through the horizon and illuminates my tomorrow, my perspective sees that joy is... Read More >

WHAT DO I EAT? July 14, 2012 Squirrely is new on the tier and is a very likable man. (Gotta love these nicknames in here!) Actually, Squirrely wants to be called this. He is like a big kid who openly admits he is overweight... Read More >

MY "IN-CAR-CERATION" July 13, 2012 I believe God has involved Himself into my circumstances simply because I have humbly invited Him. Easier said than done of course, but after this invitation requesting His involvement, the hard part... Read More >

THE POWER OF A KISS July 12, 2012 Already another weekend is here and my Princess is coming to see her frog! With just a kiss, I shall be this Prince she deserves. And with that reality, I’m reminded of another transforming kiss,... Read More >

TODAY IS MY DELIVERY July 11, 2012 (This blog was written on July 13th) Today is Friday the 13th! This day always makes me laugh because I was actually born on Friday, April 13th, and contrary to those present at my mom's... Read More >

TRUTH WILL PREVAIL July 10, 2012 The truth must always be shared, regardless of the outcome. We must allow the chips to fall where they may. The truth is far from irrational and though decisions may seem unreasonable from one... Read More >

CASE CLOSED July 9, 2012 I think it’s time to acknowledge, yet again, my complete innocence in regards to anything GOOD that has been produced, passed on, published, shared, given, received, awarded, promoted, and... Read More >

THANKFUL FOR MY EARS July 8, 2012 I cannot, I will not, I must not grow weary while doing good. No matter what my eyes may see in this place, I cannot allow this sight to affect my insight. I cannot allow the eye-gate to close off... Read More >

STIFLING HEAT July 7, 2012 If you've ever wondered what my tier feels like in the heat of the summer, you can experience the feeling by going into your garage or shed and closing the door. Now, if you decide to go that far... Read More >

THINKING OF YOU July 6, 2012 Dear Heavenly Father, How are You today? I hope I’m not the first person who has actually asked You this. Nonetheless, I hope You are well and I just wanted to tell You that I’m not o... Read More >

GET AWAY FROM RELIGION July 5, 2012 Oh what a day to finish writing another manuscript July 5th, 2012. 7 means Complete. 5-Grace. 12-Establishment. By nothing but God’s “Complete Grace” have things been “Established.” ... Read More >

INDEPENDENCE DAY July 4, 2012 How to get by on the 4th of July? Another holiday in prison, but just another day on purpose for me. “This is the day that the Lord has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it” (Psalm... Read More >

COMPLACENCY DESTROYS July 3, 2012 My frustration levels are at an all time high because of what I see in here on a daily basis. How is it possible that I care more about change, progression, and transformation for my peers--more than... Read More >

MY FRIEND SEAN IS A GOOD READ! July 2, 2012 Talk is not cheap in prison, talk is taxing. Talk is confusing. Weighing. At any given time in the day, you can be certain to hear someone talking about their situation. Describing their situation... Read More >

A HUNDRED DOLLAR BILL July 1, 2012 Like a hundred dollar bill, I may be valuable, but the question is: Am I usable? A hundred dollar bill that is lost or even in your pocket is still worth a hundred dollars, but it does not prove its... Read More >

ALONE TIME June 30, 2012 Ok, back to prison talk and prison thoughts. It’s one day at a time in here and I cannot complain about a single thing. I wake up at peace and love my morning “alone time” with God. I’ve... Read More >

MAHER BROTHERS SOCCER CAMP June 29, 2012 (This was written in real time and sent home this week). My brother Anthony had our ‘Maher Brothers Soccer’ Pro Touch Camp this past week in Cape May, New Jersey. It is our 5th annual ... Read More >

THANK YOU FOR THE MAIL June 28, 2012 I love answering my mail from day-to-day and the most dominant batch of it comes from people who I have never met. They bring up old stories or lessons from the blogs which ministers to my very soul... Read More >

SEEKING APPROVAL June 27, 2012 SEEKING APPROVAL I spent most of my life trying to please everybody in general, and nobody in particular. It was the way I went about my day, but it was off. I was off. At the end of each d... Read More >

A RIDDLE THAT RINGS June 26, 2012 I’m patiently waiting for mail to arrive because I’m supposed to receive something from my mom today that bRINGs me great joy. It’s a picture actually, because it would not be something that... Read More >

STRIVING TO BE DEAF AND DUMB June 25, 2012 “Then Pilate said to Him, ‘Do you not hear how many things they testify against You?’ But He answered him not one word, so that the governor marveled greatly” (Matthew 27:13-14). ... Read More >

NOTHING TO PROVE June 24, 2012 Some people say I’ve lost my mind! I say, “You’ve got that right!” I have lost my "high" mind and gained another. One which does nothing out of selfish ambition or conceit, but in ... Read More >

AN AWESOME VISIT June 23, 2012 I had another awesome visit yesterday. It's something that I don't understand, but God is being blatant about it. Therefore, I love what God understands and that’s where I stand! Conve... Read More >

IT'S ALL A TEST June 22, 2012 Everything is a test. My responses. My reactions. My reasoning. No matter what happens throughout the day, if I look at it as a test, there are only two possible outcomes – pass or fail. Even... Read More >

IT'S SOOOO HOT! June 21, 2012 Heat index today - 98°! It’s heating up on the tier and it is only 9 a.m. I enjoy this weather however, even when confined to the attic-like heat of the tier. Heat has a way of making things... Read More >

"WHEN GOD HAD MY BACK!" June 20, 2012 This is a sneak preview of an entry that is part of a compilation of the many situations in my life where God has protected me, provided for me, and covered me with supernatural intervention: ... Read More >

WHAT DO I MISS THE MOST? June 19, 2012 “Matt, may I ask you a question?” said Joe, a heavy-set inmate, who now realizes that outside of his crime, he needed to be in prison to lose weight and get his health back. Joe has lost a... Read More >

GOD'S PLAN FOR MY LIFE June 18, 2012 The joy of the Lord is my strength! The plans for my life have been altered forever. Those closest to me understand the full picture. Little John himself said, “I’m so happy I can cry!” ... Read More >

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF.... June 17, 2012 I’m running late! I’m getting to my thoughts a lot later than what I am used to because I have been on the go all day. After beginning my day with God and my devotions at 5:30 a.m., I had a... Read More >

KEEPING THE PEACE June 16, 2012 As I was sitting here trying to figure out what to write, an argument the size of a mustard seed sprouted. You see, most arguments in prison are truthfully about nothing. The TV. The fan speed. ... Read More >

THE FLIP SIDE OF THE COIN June 15, 2012 Yesterday I gave you the head-side of the ‘coin of care,’ but today we shall flip that “coin” on its tail-side. Heads or tails, the ‘coin of care’ always has two sides and this is where... Read More >

WHO CARES June 14, 2012 I came up with this idea last night as it came out of me when I was writing a close friend of mine a letter. I was just explaining how I have this careless attitude these days, but it is far from ... Read More >

THAT'S A FAIR QUESTION June 13, 2012 I recently received a letter that not only encouraged my soul immensely (the seat of my emotions), but it also posed a question that I wanted to answer and expound upon. The question was, “Would... Read More >

SPECIAL DELIVERY June 12, 2012 Special Delivery! And though it may be assumed that I’m over my head in the ‘water of confinement,’ my God walks on that which drowns others. I just need to keep my gaze fixed on Him, and like... Read More >

THE BEAUTY OF A PEARL June 11, 2012 I refer to the announcement of my engagement as the “pearl of promise“ since I am still confined to prison. I use the word “pearl” because such beautiful gems come from “grit” which is... Read More >

A SACRED COVENANT June 10, 2012 I already know that what I’m about to share will make no sense, but it is because of the fact that it makes no earthly sense that I must be forward about its heavenly sense. Structurally speaking,... Read More >

A TROUBLED INMATE GONE June 9, 2012 The tier has flipped dominantly for the good in the past week. We have 7 new guys in total and 4 (maybe 5) have joined the Fellowship Group. Outside of the new guys, whom all came from CRAF (Central... Read More >

DON'T LET BABEL GET YOU DOWN June 8, 2012 The voice of faith can change any situation! True, genuine faith. When we speak out our ‘core convictions,’ we are speaking the language of heaven. Ever wonder why God moves in some people’s... Read More >

A FELLOW INMATE'S HEART REVEALED June 7, 2012 There is no better day than today, the 7th and “Storming the Gates of Heaven for Tier 7’, (blog time) to share with you our character “Breads” progression, who was first introduced on 05/14... Read More >

BRUSH THE SERPENTS OFF June 6, 2012 (continued from 06/05/2012) As the apostle Paul was shipwrecked on an island called Malta, instead of being discouraged by the “cold climate” and unplanned fiery hardship, he decided to... Read More >

STUCK IN A SNAKE PIT June 5, 2012 Vipers smite and snakes bite! So here is the venomous dilemma: How are you supposed to deal with adders, when to them, nothing matters? You see, some inmates will snap with their fangs, just to see... Read More >

HARD TO BELIEVE June 4, 2012 Though my freedom has been paused temporarily, I have found liberty eternally. I am now driven by a passion apart, one that uses every waking moment on purpose. A ‘Purpose Driven Incarceration’... Read More >

NOTHING GOOD TO SAY June 3, 2012 Where do I go from here with my thoughts? What to reveal and what to conceal? I know that some things are best left in the privacy of my heart, while others must be spoken outright for a process to... Read More >

REAL TIME VERSUS BLOG TIME June 2, 2012 In real time, but not blog time, today’s date is my brother Mike’s 30th birthday. Also in real time, but not blog time, I just got done a 90 minute visit with my parents. I say “real time”... Read More >

TO MY FATHER June 1, 2012 The following column appeared in the Cape May County Herald. We thought it was worth reprinting in honor of "Father's Day!" TO MY FATHER This “Prison Talk” comes with more a... Read More >

A SIP OF TIME May 31, 2012 We have just entered into the half-way month of the year, which blows my mind. Not like an explosion ‘blow,’ but more like a cooling ‘blow.’ This blowing brings me peace and stillness of... Read More >

ATTENDING A SYMPHONY IN PRISON May 30, 2012 If I look directly up from my area, about 5 yards away, I see a steel window framed into a drab white painted cinder block wall. Below the window is an old, dented heater, painted green over the... Read More >

MONEY IN THE BANK May 29, 2012 I will never be able to explain the “gross” reality of this place--the crude vulgarity that exists as its everyday backdrop. It’s much easier for me to tell you of my “net profit” from... Read More >

COULDN'T BE MORE BLATANT May 28, 2012 God has been so “blatantly” obvious in my life and only a fool would deny it. I see it and believe it. 2 Corinthians 4: 13 says, “And since we have the same spirit of faith, according to what... Read More >

FROM BONE CRUSHER TO GENTLE GIANT May 27, 2012 Today is Little John’s birthday! Not his physical birthday, but his spiritual birthday, the day in which he gave his life to Jesus in the presence of the entire 7 East Tier. One year later,... Read More >

WWJD May 26, 2012 This imprisonment has pulled so much out of me that I didn’t even know existed, and when I think about my past, it is very sad that I sold myself short for all those years. Complacency will keep... Read More >

HOT LIKE AN OVEN May 25, 2012 Memorial Day Weekend 2012! Yep, the beginning of another summer incarcerated. It is supposed to be 87 degrees today, so I’m sure the tier will heat up like a brick oven. As it heats up outwardly... Read More >

WHY? May 24, 2012 It’s a new day and I feel brand new in every way. “Why?” you ask, I’ll tell you; so listen carefully to what I have to say: A prisoner, but free; not because of what I’ve done, b... Read More >

PRISON PHOTO OP May 23, 2012 I went down to the gym today for the long awaited prison photo project, which had been delayed for weeks because the out-dated Polaroid camera had broke. Nonetheless, it was fixed and Polaroid’s... Read More >

A BLESSING FROM TEXAS May 22, 2012 Today is Thursday and another “Storming the Gates of Heaven for Tier 7”! Each week seems to come quicker and quicker. And today I had the privilege of reading a letter from the initiator of... Read More >

BEING A GENTLEMAN May 21, 2012 I love the thought that meekness is not weakness, but rather it is strength under control. The Greek word for meek is ‘praus,’ which denotes a powerful stallion broken and able to be ridden. The... Read More >

BRAIN FREEZE May 20, 2012 Yesterday the entire institution was placed on lock down, with no inmate movement allowed and a “stand-up” count blitzed upon us. This “stand-up” count was warranted because a previous �... Read More >

MATT'S JERSEY TAKES A CRUISE May 19, 2012 As my parents arrived home safely from Florida vacation yesterday, I had a visit with two of my college friends, seeing them for the first time in almost 3 years. I wrote about Chris in my blog... Read More >

WE REAP WHAT WE SOW May 18, 2012 (continued) The situation I wrote about for the past 2 days did not involve me in anyway, but because I was in the area, it was brought to my "front door" to answer. I could have looked a... Read More >

SICKENING SAGA CONTINUED May 17, 2012 (Continued from yesterday) In sin CITY, the flesh wants to win. I say this humbly as I know it's a compliment that my peers feel compelled to explain themselves to me because they know exac... Read More >

A SICKENING SITUATION May 16, 2012 If I don't nail my flesh to the cross every morning, I will consequently get hammered by my own impulses and responses to the madness behind these walls. Without going to deep into detail, I will say... Read More >

TAN MATT IS BACK May 15, 2012 Sun shining day! Just got back inside from afternoon rec and “tan Matt” is officially back! It was 80+ degrees under this same sun that was surely glazing down on my parents who are still in... Read More >

THE PEER PRESSURE OF FEAR May 14, 2012 I've spent a lot of time with a young kid from another unit named Bread. Gotta love the nicknames here, but I think I'm the only one in prison without one. Any ideas? HA. Anyway, he has opened up... Read More >

A WORD FOR MY MOTHER May 13, 2012 You can’t see them coming down my eyes, so I have to make this blog cry. In honor of my mom’s tears that have left a trail from what her eyes have seen, flowing down to where her heart has leaned... Read More >

NEED SOME TIME ALONE May 12, 2012 I have been praying recently for God to give me a break--literally. A break from the day to day, week to week, month to month belligerent chaos in this place. Before I get up in the morning and... Read More >

MIND GAMES May 11, 2012 There is no battle greater in prison than the battle of the mind. The thoughts that war with one another are a constant struggle and what we allow to hold space in our minds eventually holds weight... Read More >

JUST A KID May 10, 2012 I know I am 28 now, but I still feel like “just a kid.” Does that self-portrayal ever go away especially when you’re the youngest of four boys. So I often find myself wondering why it is that... Read More >

CALL ME CRAZY May 9, 2012 Apparently I am officially considered “crazy” in the eyes of my fellow inmates and even noticeably in the eyes of a few on the classification board. As they read on file about my turning down �... Read More >

BODY LANGUAGE May 8, 2012 05/08/2012 BODY LANGUAGE I have nothing to say today, nothing to say! Not because I don’t want to, but just as we train our muscles, so too we can train our tongue. The tongu... Read More >

COLISEUM- LIKE ENVIRONMENT May 7, 2012 There is never a dull moment in a prison environment where groups of inmates share common living space on an open tier. Most guys cannot not play nice and peacefully alone, now add the catastrophic... Read More >

THE SEE-SAW EFFECT May 6, 2012 The imbalance in this place is like a well-oiled see-saw. You would feel like you were intoxicated if you allowed your focus to always center on the up’s and down’s. Just last night, one of my... Read More >

BELIEVE WHAT YOU PRAY May 5, 2012 I went outside this morning specifically to pray apart from the madness of the tier. I usually get my writing done during the morning hours after reading, but today I felt nudged to go outside in... Read More >

THE RESUME OF A FOOL May 4, 2012 I gotta get real to make sure I give the right appeal. None of this is to be glorified, and with this resume comes nothing fortified. You want this life? Take note that I’m writing this from... Read More >

TURNED DOWN A PROMOTION May 3, 2012 I had my first psych evaluation today and apparently I am sane enough to be considered for “Full Minimum Status” next week. Actually, this classification has everything to do with my “time... Read More >

R-RATED TO PG May 2, 2012 Please allow me to write out what my eyes have seen, like a projector, so that the images may go from my mind to your screen. The content may not be suitable for children, but it’s certainly... Read More >

A WORD TO MY PARENTS May 1, 2012 My parents left today for a much deserved family vacation! This will be the third one in my absence due to my incarceration. As they go away to Florida to enjoy the sun, I consider it a joy to be... Read More >

TAKE OFF THE MASK April 30, 2012 The tier has flipped again, meaning we have a lot of new guys added to the “community.” Of the 8 newcomers, three have joined the Fellowship Group and their personalities have surely added to the... Read More >

A NEW BABY MAHER ON ITS WAY April 29, 2012 I just had a visit and I was able to congratulate my brother, the Lieutenant, and my sister-in-law, the Lawyer, in regards to the news that they are expecting their first child. They already found... Read More >

CONFINEMENT IS FREEDOM April 28, 2012 There are times when I hear about the outreach of this website and I insanely think that if my life had to be lived out in prison, I would be content because of the good reports. Don’t worry I... Read More >

NOTHING BUT A DONKEY April 27, 2012 (continued from 04/26/2012) How could I be helping to heal hearts, when I was the one responsible for shattering so many? Yesterday’s ‘BETTERfly AFFECT’ has not been the only one of ... Read More >

THE BETTERFLY AFFECT April 26, 2012 I wrote a few days ago about the negative “butterfly effect” that my fatal decision produced. But I think it is important to notice the other weather patterns that were AFFECTED as a result of... Read More >

WHAT’S HIS NAME April 25, 2012 I went out tonight to the yard for the first time since the end of last summer. They recently closed the gym for the spring/summer months. It was a beautiful evening, about 64 degrees with a slight... Read More >

THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT April 24, 2012 One small decision can change everything--one lapse of judgment. The slightest “flapping” can result in the largest happening. You never know how heavy an impact you possess in the very �... Read More >

A PICTURE SPEAKS A THOUSAND WORDS April 23, 2012 I have a picture here that when I look at it, I cannot contain my hearts smile. At the slightest glance, I instantly thank my Father in heaven who has rained down His “manna” on my life. Manna... Read More >

FROM “THAT GUY” TO “NEW GUY” April 22, 2012 I refuse to look back and regret this time. I refuse to regret any of my past. To regret is to regress, so I refuse to regret. Please bear with me because this concept is profound. Accor... Read More >

BIRDS EYE PERSPECTIVE April 21, 2012 Judgmental minds! I saw it coming, so I already had my arsenal locked for integrity-sake. Before the Fellowship Group gathered yesterday, 2 of our members dismembered each other in the ... Read More >

DRIVING ME CRAZY! April 20, 2012 Now I know exactly what I have been putting everyone through…. Please allow me to explain. Every once in a while I write what I call a “Two or Three Bangers,” (2 or 3 days worth of a story),... Read More >

A BLOG ABOUT NOTHING April 19, 2012 My mom will appreciate this blog as an avid ‘Seinfeld’ fan. My parents and I would watch re-runs of that show –which is about nothing-- and just crack up laughing at the mundane truths that... Read More >

CONVERSATION WITH MY BROTHER April 18, 2012 I spoke with my brother Mike last night and we discussed the journey I have been on since March 7th, 2009. I turned 25-years-old a month after the accident, and within 10 months, I was a 25-year-old... Read More >

SCAPEGOAT April 17, 2012 I write my thoughts as authentic as I possibly can. I hope I never come off judgmental. I think of myself as a “scapegoat” of sorts,meaning I take all the blame for myselfand what I once was... Read More >

THE NEW LINEN MAN April 16, 2012 Sheets are exchanged every Monday morning and every Monday morning you see the same selfishness rearing its ugly head. But, and I say BUT as a witness, does anyone else notice the selfishness... Read More >

DON'T TRUST YOUR FEELINGS April 15, 2012 Our ‘feel on faith’ should never be a ‘faith dependent on our feelings.’ Feelings pass and feelings mislead, but proper-placed faith brings a peace that fills and a mind that is stilled. It... Read More >

BAD GUY UPDATE April 14, 2012 Remember my new area-mate, the one everyone was shaking their head to me in pity? Well he is now my new best friend, ha. Seriously though, it only took one conversation to show him that I cared. ... Read More >

MY THIRD BIRTHDAY IN PRISON April 13, 2012 Way too many blessings to report today! I woke up to a birthday card signed by my entire unit (EVERYONE) with so many beautiful messages inside. I received a personal letter from Little John that I... Read More >

SHOOK THEIR HEADS IN PITY April 12, 2012 So we got a new guy to replace the guy that was moved yesterday. And from his reputation, this might be another one of God’s sharpening tools for me. This new inmate is far from being “new”... Read More >

OUTTA HERE! April 11, 2012 OUTTA HERE! On Monday night, Pastor Vic said, “You have three days to deal with your ‘tomb issue,’ whatever it may be, then you MUST stand up like Christ.” Upon him making that cha... Read More >

WHAT DOES LIFE WRITE ABOUT YOU April 10, 2012 I’ve learned to be content, but I must re-school myself every morning through my studies. I would like to compare my mindset to a pencil, and as I apply myself, I continually sharpen my character... Read More >

KEEPIN THE PEACE April 9, 2012 BLAST FROM THE PAST: PUTTING OUT A RAGING FIRE (Today's blog entry is posted below this one). “I need to talk to you outside. If that’s ok?” Kino said in a soft unassuming ton... Read More >

BLAST FROM THE PAST April 8, 2012 IN MEMORY OF REBEKA VEREA AND THE “SAY YES TO LIFE” CONFERENCE (This was written last year on the anniversary date of Matt’s tragic accident 3/07/2011) Matt’s Easter Sunday bl... Read More >

HOW TO DEFEAT DEATH April 7, 2012 What do you do when you have found yourself in between yesterday’s tragedy and tomorrow’s triumph? I can’t imagine what Jesus’ followers were thinking as they suffered the reality that their... Read More >

OVER MY DEAD BODY April 6, 2012 Ever heard the statement, “Over my dead body”? It denotes an attitude of extreme defensiveness, which will be followed by an action if necessary. Well, I thought about this ‘line’ earlier... Read More >

PUTTING MYSELF IN MY PARENT'S SHOES April 5, 2012 (Continued from 4/3 and 4/4) For me it is one step at a time, keeping people from my mis-steps, while learning from the Lord’s steps. And as I am striving to walk and talk like Christ, I... Read More >

BAD NEWS DROPS LIKE A BOMB April 4, 2012 continued from 04/03/2012) The life-changing knock at my mother’s door could never be fully understood or explained in her mind and heart, but it is not the reasoning for such knocks, but... Read More >

WHEN TRAGEDY KNOCKS ON YOUR DOOR April 3, 2012 I’m not asking anyone to place themselves in my position or understand my experience. That would be madness. I’m guilty and I deserve to go through the sufferings of tragedy. I can’t ask... Read More >

THE RETCHING OF THE INTESTINES April 2, 2012 Lately, I’m at a loss of words on how to adequately explain my thoughts and the burdens of my heart. I have emotional peace, yet I feel compassionately “ sick in my intestines” for many of my... Read More >

THE PALM TREE April 1, 2012 Palm Sunday! Palms are one of the only trees that do not rely on outward conditions for inward stability. They survive in environments with overwhelming heat. Their reinforced bark bends with... Read More >

PICK SOMEONE UP March 31, 2012 CONTINUED FROM YESTERDAY I wanted to finish the story about ‘Z’ yesterday, but I’d like to preface the outcome with these two quotes, “the BEST EXERCISE for strengthening your hea... Read More >

NAVIGATING THE HARD STUFF March 30, 2012 At the end of last summer, I immediately took a liking to an inmate named ‘Z’ who is housed on another tier. We see each other during rec periods, and for the past year-and-a-half, I’ve tried... Read More >

GOOD NEWS March 29, 2012 Another Thursday and the weeks are blowing by. I am aware that today is ‘Storming the Gates of Heaven for Tier 7’ and the impact of prayer and fasting continues to be felt here. An inmate named... Read More >

THE BROKEN ROAD March 28, 2012 What if I told you that my entire life has been established through this affliction? It’s hard for, even me, to believe that God has blessed this broken road. Many would want to see the ... Read More >

MALE LEADERSHIIP WITH PASTOR VIC March 27, 2012 Monday nights are Male Leadership class led by Pastor Victor Hudson. God’s Word spills right out of this man, as he presents himself before the inmate congregation with all humility. I love it! ... Read More >

MAN UP March 26, 2012 Can you imagine the impact a summit designed to promote the “right qualities” for leadership would have on our young people today? I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately and I envision it... Read More >

IN A QUANDARY March 25, 2012 These thoughts hit me hard today, especially as I watch so many of my peers suffocating in this time of prison. I can’t explain it, but it grieves my spirit deeply. It appears that many have not... Read More >

TKO'D MY FRIENDS March 24, 2012 Not exactly sure where to start, so I guess I will start at the end and go from there. Ding Ding! I arrived back on my tier and I guess because of my thoughts yesterday, I said to myself... Read More >

THROWING MONEY AWAY March 23, 2012 1,520,000! One million, five hundred and twenty thousand! Remember that number. On any given day, you will see the same scene, a cemetery where there are few still alive among the... Read More >

HOW IS IT POSSIBLE? March 22, 2012 So much has happened today, but it is impossible to place any semblance to such inward confirmations. I knew all too well that today was ‘Storming the Gates of Heaven for Tier 7,’ but God... Read More >

Dearest Blog of Mine, March 21, 2012 I have been trying to write you for about 2 and a half- hours now, but every time I try an interruption or distraction soon follows. First, it was my new bunkie who told me, “Had I known the system... Read More >

WE CAN MOVE MOUNTAINS March 20, 2012 The day after the encounter with my hostile tier mate on the 9th of this month, our Fellowship group continued through the Gospel of Matthew. And wouldn’t you know it? The chapter covered that... Read More >

SEASONS CHANGE March 19, 2012 It is seventy plus degrees out! I’m going outside for afternoon rec in an hour, and I will continue my thoughts after the sun graces my face—I so need my Vitamin D! Alright, I di... Read More >

MY BROTHER ANTHONY March 18, 2012 Today is my older brother Anthony’s birthday. He is 33! He is one of the most impressive individuals I have ever known and one of my inspirations growing up. His life embodies the epitome of hard... Read More >

WHO HAS YOUR BACK? March 17, 2012 Has anyone ever told you, “I got your back”? It’s a comforting affirmation of security for sure, especially in the face of uncertain opposition. Having your back means the person is facing the... Read More >

INTERRUPTIONS March 16, 2012 I have not been able to write much lately. Little John noticed and made mention of it to me-- since I am usually always working relentlessly on something. But for the past several weeks, m... Read More >

DEEP CONNECTIONS March 15, 2012 Perhaps you have seen the event “Storming the Gates of Heaven for Tier SEVEN” on my face book page. It takes place ever Thursday because Thursdays have always been a day ‘set apart’ for my... Read More >

OPPOSITE NATURES March 14, 2012 Stay with me today, I may move kind of quick with my thoughts. Not because they are coming to me fast, but quite the opposite: A “stilled” mind is more efficient and effective when seeking... Read More >

INMATES LEAVING March 13, 2012 We lost three “good guys” today. For them, it was progression, but replacements always cause a hit to the tier dynamics. One guy was released to freedom, one to a halfway house, and the last... Read More >

PLEASE BEAR WITH THIS ONE--IT'S WORTH IT! March 12, 2012 REMINDER: Please take the time to check out former gangster 'Lil John's' thoughts under his name in the blog section of this web page IN HONOR OF EASTER: GENESIS 5:1-32 T... Read More >

NICK LASSOR'S WEDDING March 11, 2012 My parents came to see me today and they looked outstanding. They always stand out in a good way. Even an inmate told me that his visitors knew that they were, “Matt’s parents from their... Read More >

PRISON DRAMA CONTINUED March 10, 2012 Yesterday I talked about a conflict that has been going on in my tier. I felt so strongly about what I was discerning that I brought it up to Little John and my Bunkie. I am thankful that I was... Read More >

MORE PRISON DRAMA March 9, 2012 It was on this date exactly one year ago that I was abruptly removed from tier 2-East, the snake pit, and placed into 7-East, the wolves den. To make a very long story short, I was moved by a man in... Read More >

A NEW CHAPTER March 8, 2012 I have decided to close a chapter in my book of failures. Don’t get me wrong, I want to always remember all that has happened in my life for the sole purpose of maintaining the right view as I... Read More >

REFLECTIONS March 7, 2012 The anniversary date of my accident I’m gonna get straight to the point. I could not look you in the eyes three years ago today-- nobody could. Not that I did not want to at the... Read More >

MISPLACED AUTHORITY March 6, 2012 There is so much that happened today, but unfortunately for the sake of discretion, I cannot reveal in specific details the “obstacle” in this prison ministry’s path. So I will use a parable of... Read More >

SOMETHING DARK IS LURKING March 5, 2012 I just received my entire “2011 blogs” compiled by a dear friend Tracey from New York. (Thanks again Tracey—YOU are amazing). I was curious to see what I had written on this day, one year... Read More >

THE DESSERT THAT DELIVERS March 4, 2012 Continued from 3/3 I know how helpless this environment can make you feel. Fourteen months ago, I was settled in on tier 2 East, when I was abruptly moved upstairs to 7 East. So anytime I... Read More >

SERVING UP A MEAL March 3, 2012 (Continued from yesterday) So back to yesterday’s story (see 3/2). I didn’t want to leave you “stuffed,” so I saved the bulk of the meal for today. So the plot thickens as we hav... Read More >

TROUBLE ON TIER 7 March 2, 2012 I hope when I report on some of these happenings in prison that you don’t think I’m making myself out to be the savior of 7-East. I am far from anything heroic or courageous and I truly never... Read More >

QUICK TURNS March 1, 2012 March 2012! In looking back to the first day of the month of March three years ago, I can recall with deep sadness in my heart what was about to happen in just six days. I know exactly where I was... Read More >

WHY WOULD GOD..... February 29, 2012 “Religious” talk is very common in prison because inmates are always posturing on whose belief system is correct. However, those who debate the most are always the ones who do not live what they... Read More >

PRISON-POISED February 28, 2012 How is it possible that I am in prison and yet I feel the best and most “poised” I have ever been in my entire life? Seriously how could that be? The best definition of the word “poised” is... Read More >

MISSED FRIENDS February 27, 2012 I had an amazing visit today with two friends who I haven’t seen in close to three years. It was remarkable to catch up and see how good they are doing. Even after all of this time, we didn’t... Read More >

CHANGED PLANS February 26, 2012 It is 4:46 p.m., and I have just sat down for the first time all day. Granted, I went through my morning commitment, but had to cut that short to make sure I started cutting hair at 8 a.m. (Reminder... Read More >

MICHAEL--ALIVIA'S EARTHLY DADDY February 25, 2012 I have seen firsthand the power of a written letter and I am beyond grateful for them. Letters, cards, a simple note, any written words can serve as actual ambassadors of love from location to... Read More >

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAYSON February 24, 2012 02/22/2012 THIS WAS WRITTEN ON 2/22, BUT DUE TO A MAIL SNAFU, IT DIDN’T MAKE IT HOME ON TIME! Today is Jay’s birthday. I won’t record how old he is as per his inability to ackn... Read More >

STOP TALKING SO SPIRITUAL February 23, 2012 I do not want the place of prison to get any credit for shaping me into who I am today. No place on earth can break a man and then re-make him. Places are used as positions and if a place hinders... Read More >

UNEARNED FAVOR February 22, 2012 I am going to be short and directly to the point today. Things are happening inside and outside these walls that can’t be explained. Is it luck? Some would call it that. Is it man’s favor? ... Read More >

STORMING THE GATES February 21, 2012 Ever since I announced to my tier mates, back in December, that people from around the country were setting Thursday’s aside to fast and pray specifically for the men in our unit in an event called... Read More >

WHEN ADVERSITY STRIKES February 20, 2012 I would have never thought that I would view adversity as God’s MOST effective tool to chisel and refine me. Who wants pain? Since I believe that God is in ultimate control of all things-- whether... Read More >

PRECIOUS FAMILY TIME February 19, 2012 My parents and my beautiful niece Alivia went to Philly this weekend to spend time with my brother Anthony, his wife Anne, and their son Roman-the-Great. Also joining the re-union is my other brother... Read More >

BRAND NEW DAY February 18, 2012 PREPARATION I decided, that unless someone comes up and tells me they want to run the fellowship group, that I will prepare a lesson as I do my morning devotions. I enjoy doing it and I kn... Read More >

TOTALLY FRUSTRATED February 17, 2012 I am very frustrated today. I’ve not had too many days like this and I know what it stems from. I’m trying to appease everyone and that is draining. Unfortunately, the second some people don’t... Read More >

MY COLLEGE DAYS February 16, 2012 It’s 2 pm and I just made myself a coffee – 3 scoops of Maxwell House, a few sugars, and a shot of milk. 75% of the tier is sleeping and that sight is contagious. I was tired and needed a surge... Read More >

FRESH AROMA February 15, 2012 OOPS! We messed up and missed posting this on Valentine’s day! I received a few Valentine’s Day cards today from family and friends! Thank you all kindly. Some were sprayed wi... Read More >

MANNERS MATTER February 14, 2012 Some people really despise seeing prisoners at peace. I will not “preach” about this one, but simply relay the facts: I went down to my visit yesterday where we are required to go throu... Read More >

MY PARENTS ARE COMING February 13, 2012 My parents are coming to visit today with my Aunt Dee. It has been about three months since I have seen them. That is the longest time, since I have been “down” (jail term ‘down’ means... Read More >

MY PRISON HOME February 12, 2012 It just hit me that it’s normal for me to eat generic brand Frosted Flakes cereal out of my same clear Tupperware bowl with a plastic spoon. This is the lifestyle of my new prison home! Imagine... Read More >

HARD HEADS February 11, 2012 Trust me, prison isn’t hard! It’s dealing with hard headed people that make it extremely trying. The chaos is 24-7. Weekly. Monthly. And yes, yearly! And it’s not just people in ... Read More >

PEACE ABOVE ALL February 10, 2012 I now realize more than ever, especially in this hostile environment, how words can subdue or exacerbate a tense situation. Words can breathe strife or life into a problem. I knew by calling ZeZe �... Read More >

TENSE SITUATION February 9, 2012 One of the biggest problems with prison life in a tier-setting is how “familiarity breeds complacency.” And it is through that ease of comfort that some of my peers will take advantage. I am a... Read More >

PAY ATTENTION TO THE NUDGE February 8, 2012 Why live with a sense of urgency? Answer: Because you never know what a day may bring. In prison, one moment’s decision could land you in jail-- inside of jail. It’s called Lock-Up. The Hole!... Read More >

SET ON FIRE February 7, 2012 So now I have had my third Super Bowl in prison. Not exactly a place I ever envisioned. The tier is beyond loud at the moment. John and I just returned from church and I believe it is halftime.Read More >

LOST BLOG February 6, 2012 Right now it is Super Bowl Sunday, but as I went to print the blog I just wrote, my file would not open. I spent most of my morning trying to recover what I had written, but to no avail. I have... Read More >

RAP CONTEST February 5, 2012 Have you ever seen the movie ‘8 Mile’ with rapper Eminem? How about ‘7 Tier’ with M&M (Matthew Maher)? LOL. Picture the rap battle scenes from the movie ‘8 Mile.’ Now replace the... Read More >

HEARTSICK February 4, 2012 There are some things that I have experienced in here that would blow your mind, but you might think I was exaggerating. Believe me, I wouldn’t dare do such a thing –especially when it comes to... Read More >

MY WINTER EXPERIENCE February 3, 2012 It’s unbelievably nice outside, so I think I’ll go into the yard this afternoon for rec. I’ve been assured that it will get up to 65 degrees! It’s winter and the temperature doesn’t line... Read More >

SELFISH INTENTIONS February 2, 2012 Jayson was in the New York Post a few days ago, which found its way to my area a few days after its print date. I was delighted to see that he was making such an impact on the inmates at Rikers... Read More >

WHAT COLORS DO YOU SEE? February 1, 2012 I see nothing but white washed walls, faded grey lockers, metal painted beds, and brown clothes. It is a colorless environment that reflects its gloomy shades upon a man, if you allow it. The prison... Read More >

VENTING January 31, 2012 On several occasions, as I sit in my area at work on my word processor,I have been asked by COs, “What are you writing, a blog?” This tells me that they are aware that I write blogs. Then comes... Read More >

WHO AM I LORD? January 30, 2012 I could not sleep last night, as my mind was still absorbed in yesterday’s events. It was a feeling of relaxing in God’s grace. While I was awake, I was in total peace. It’s so good to be... Read More >

MORE FROM YESTERDAY'S ENCOUNTER IN THE YARD January 29, 2012 I have way too many thoughts running through my head! And all this happened in morning rec, which was forced upon me as we were ordered to leave the tier for a search. I would have never been... Read More >

TEARS OF JOY! January 28, 2012 Day 21 – All for the SON! I was not supposed to call home today. I told my mother on the phone last night that she would NOT hear from me until after the weekend. I told her I was bre... Read More >

THE INTERNAL BATTLE January 27, 2012 Day 20 – Nothing Funny! Don’t believe in angels or demons? Well, meet “Spades.” He is a current inmate on my tier and about 1 year younger than me. Spades came onto the tier and... Read More >

DANIEL'S FAST January 26, 2012 19 is Nice and Very Precise! “Yo, man, don’t take this the wrong way, but you look terrible. Are you sure you know what you’re doing? I think it’s too long,” said my fellow inma... Read More >

LONG LOST FRIEND January 25, 2012 18 of 21 – But Just Begun! I heard from a friend today that I was seriously worried about. I had sent him a few letters to check up on him, but never heard back. I had figured that he p... Read More >

A SAD DEMISE January 24, 2012 Seventeen In – Livin’ to Win! I am exhausted today in this “lion’s den,” but like Daniel’s experience in the Bible, my God even controls the jaws of those who continually chomp ... Read More >

SPORTS FEVER January 23, 2012 The 16th Day for me – And this is what I see! There has been a complete transformation in the mood on this tier from yesterday to today. Yesterday was eerie and quiet until the sudden BA... Read More >

WRITTEN FIVE MONTHS INTO MATT'S PRISON EXPERIENCE January 22, 2012 JUNE 29, 2010 THIS BLOG WAS SELECTED AS ONE OF THE TOP TEN FAVORITE AMONG OUR READERS. TODAY'S ENTRY WILL PROCEED IT. BE BLESSED Jay woke me up a little before 5 am this morning ... Read More >

TRASH TALK January 21, 2012 14 Down – Not Lost but Found! There’s one thing that greatly troubles me in here, and that is how quickly life on this tier can get amped up for the wrong reasons. It happens so fast a... Read More >

BRIDGES January 20, 2012 Fast, the 13th Day – Together we PRAY! Another Thursday of ‘Storming the Gates of Heaven for Tier 7’ and the guys on the tier have been reminded that believers all across the country ... Read More >

YOU JUST NEVER KNOW! January 19, 2012 (Continued from yesterday) The 12th Day of the Fast – God’s grace of times past! It’s quite chilling to find out that someone wanted to harm you in a way that you wouldn’t be a... Read More >

ALLEGED HIT THWARTED January 18, 2012 Day Eleven – God’s graces from heaven! A reliable source told me about my “good break” regarding a previous situation, and he only told me so I knew how “lucky” I was. I know i... Read More >

TIME TO MAN UP January 17, 2012 Day Ten – If not now, then when? NOTE: PLEASE VISIT http://www.facebook.com/events/319118998129081/ to learn more about "Storming the Gates of Heaven for Tier Seven"--We would love to hav... Read More >

LISTENING ON THE OUTSKIRTS January 16, 2012 Day Nine – All is fine! Late last night, a fellow inmate who overheard the announcement about ‘Storming the Gates of Heaven for Tier 7,’ approached me to express his thankfulness. He... Read More >

BLAST FROM THE PAST: January 16, 2012 Periodically, we will post additional blog entries from our archives. The following entry was written on 4/8/10, after Matthew had been in prison for about 3 months. Be blessed! QUICK TEST<... Read More >

DAY 8--IT'S NEVER TOO LATE! January 15, 2012 Many prisoners believe they have reached the point of no return. Their demeanor expresses defeat before the day has even begun. They declare time the victor and many refuse to redeem it. But life... Read More >

DAY SEVEN--NOT BACKWARD OR FORWARD BUT UPWARD TO HEAVEN! January 14, 2012 Staying continuously busy all day helps with the hunger pangs. It's one thing to be busy, but what are we busy about? I’m reading a lot and “eating” God’s Word, but I am also about to finish... Read More >

DAY SIX JUST GETTING MY FIX January 13, 2012 All is very well with my soul today and I’m in cruise control. This fast is not as strenuous in comparison to the 7-day ALL water fast, but neither is it easy. It’s not supposed to be and that... Read More >

DAY FIVE AND I'M STILL ALIVE January 12, 2012 Our fast is not to say, “Look at me,” or “I’m holier than you.” NO, we fast to say, “It’s not about me,” and “I want to be holier for Him!” What can we possibly give God? He is... Read More >

DAY FOUR-- KNEES TO THE FLOOR January 11, 2012 I’m clear in my thoughts, but let’s see how it sounds in writing. I experienced the first rising of strife today for no apparent reason. As Paul wrote to Titus, “Avoid foolish disputes.” (3:9... Read More >

DAY 3 OF 21 January 10, 2012 Day 3 of 21 in the Fast! This fast consists of only water, vegetables and fruit, but the prison does not always have vegetables and fruit on the daily menu, so I must make due with what I have. ... Read More >

MATHEMATICS THAT BOGGLE THE MIND January 9, 2012 Here we go… my “Junior” year (3rd) in prison, I could not see this year from “Orientation Day” (sentencing), because I refused to look past the “assignments” (purpose) of each passing... Read More >

THE FASTING EDGE January 8, 2012 How crazy is it that Lil John and I are beginning another fast (a-21-day-one) and today I received a book about fasting that I wanted but did not ask anyone for? It is only from God’s grace and the... Read More >

FROM STREET LIFE TO PRISON LIFE January 7, 2012 Two years ago today, I woke up in my own bed, but went to bed in a prison cell. I began my day in a suit, but ended the day in a jumpsuit. It was sentencing day for me, 5 to 10 years; but it was the... Read More >

GRANDMOM'S GONE January 6, 2012 Three years ago today, my mom’s mother passed on to eternal peace to be in the presence of the Lord. Though it was a “natural order” death, meaning the child buries the parent, it was an... Read More >

TIME FLIES WHEN IN LOVE January 5, 2012 Every time I write the date, I keep putting “11” instead of “12.” I can’t believe it is 2012 because it literally feels like only a few days have passed since I began this incarceration in... Read More >

STUCK IN THE MUD January 4, 2012 Imagine what it’s like to be confined with those who do not stand for anything righteous. You cannot remove yourself or leave. As sure as they are there, so are you. As they curse loudly and... Read More >

MAN UP January 3, 2012 Just when you think you are helping someone out, it turns and bites you in the rear. But that is what happens when you tickle the belly of a serpent, when we are told to step on their heads. (Luke 10... Read More >

FALSE ASSUMPTIONS January 2, 2012 I feel as if yesterday’s test during the fellowship group was the perfect opportunity to stand stronger on my CORE CONVICTION for the New year. My threshold or measuring stick will always be the... Read More >

FROM OLD TO NEW January 1, 2012 Our fellowship group brought in the New Year with conviction, as we broke down the difference between the “Old and the New.” It was very fitting to start the New Year by reminding the guys, �... Read More >

NEW YEAR'S EVE REFLECTIONS December 31, 2011 As I look back on a year that to those on the outside would be classified as being locked away and lost forever; I see nothing but a deeper freedom found. Much has happened this past year, but when... Read More >

GOD WHAT DO YOU SEE? December 30, 2011 I look around and I see all different types of people: not only in this prison, but in this world. I find myself wondering: Why does he or she think like that? Why do they do what they do... Read More >

COLORS DEFINE December 29, 2011 I do not make many movements in the prison for several reasons, but when I do have to leave my unit and venture out into the controlled movement of the prison, the uniform of choice, by the state, of... Read More >

GROANING TO GROW December 28, 2011 I want to grow in my relationship with Christ, and I groan to be set free from my body of sin that decays daily. Even nature groans as it grows, waiting to be set free. “For we know that... Read More >

WHO POSSESSES YOUR SOUL? December 27, 2011 I almost lost possession of my soul! I know I mentioned this yesterday in my thoughts, but I felt compelled to elaborate today. Have you ever thought about your soul? What would become ... Read More >

LIVE YOUR LIFE TO BE READ December 26, 2011 LIVE YOUR LIFE TO BE READ HE was fully Man to die to the grave; HE was fully God to rise and to save. The above sounds nice and all, but what am I doing with the knowledge t... Read More >

MERRY CHRISTMAS December 25, 2011 Nobody can curse what God has blessed. I will testify that having a “Merry Christmas” has nothing to do with a location. And guess what? From the beginning of time, God allows HIS pro... Read More >

SPECIAL CHRISTMAS COLUMN (HERALD) December 25, 2011 Christmas in prison is not about the day’s events; our prison schedule continues despite any holiday or tradition happening on the outside. Christmas in prison is not about decorations, either; my... Read More >

AT PEACE December 24, 2011 I am making my way through this week, Christmas week, and all is well. Christmas in prison and I have never been more at peace and free in my entire life. How does that even make sense? There must... Read More >

CORE CONVICTION SERIES December 23, 2011 I have just officially begun working on book #4 of 5 in the CORE CONVICTION SERIES today, and completed a rough draft of the prologue and format. This one is entitled, “From PIECE to PEACE,” and... Read More >

CHRISTMAS WEEK REFLECTIONS December 22, 2011 It’s Christmas week and the quantity of my mail has confirmed this! I got such a nice variety of uplifting CHRISTmas cards and they were all filled with holiday cheer and winter themes. There is... Read More >

HOLIDAY SEASON THOUGHTS December 21, 2011 *Web Admin Note: Matt has no access to the Internet in prison, but mails his handwritten daily journals home from prison to be typed, then posted online each day. This process prevents us from posting... Read More >

THE POWER OF 55:11 December 20, 2011 For whatever reason I did not share this on the day it was “accomplished,” it was on my heart to share. I do not want to seem like I am bragging, for I am nothing. But I want to boast in “the... Read More >

NIGHT DWELLERS December 19, 2011 My nights are becoming quite thought provoking. I classify "night" as when the lights go out on the tier for sleep. Lights out is at 10:30 p.m. on most nights, but midnight for “special privileges�... Read More >

AFTER THOUGHTS ON THE FAST December 18, 2011 *To view the video Matt refers to in this blog,click on the VIDEOS&PRESENTATIONS tab on the top navigation bar and select "DID YOU CRY WHEN MY DADDY DIED?"* This past 7-day fast has taught ... Read More >

DAY SEVEN December 17, 2011 Web Admin. Note: This blog was written on 12/15. In real time, Matt began his fast on 12/9, but due to mail snags, the posts dates above are not accurate to real time. Fast Day SEVEN! Sev... Read More >

DAY SIX December 16, 2011 Fast Day Six! I am still going on Christ’s strength because I certainly feel weak. I have a lot more energy today than yesterday, but I am still well under my normal functioning level. I lay down... Read More >

WATER ONLY--DAY FIVE December 15, 2011 Fast Day Five! I want to suffer successfully by presenting my body as a living sacrifice, which is our reasonable service. This is the least I can do to honor God in this season of my life. Today... Read More >

DAY FOUR December 14, 2011 Fast Day Four! Quite drained and drawn, but the whole point of is to empty myself, leaving room for nothing but God to fill me up. My prayer has been for the Spirit of the Lord to fall on me, fill... Read More >

WATER FAST DAY THREE December 13, 2011 Fast Day Three! Tired, but focused. This is the first time I have done a water-only fast and it is intense! But I guess if it doesn’t cost you anything, then it doesn’t mean anything to God. Of... Read More >

FAST DAY TWO December 12, 2011 “If not now, then when?” Fast Day Two! I woke up for my normal morning devotional time and after 2 hours, decided to lay back down. My stomach was grumbling and my body was drained, but my... Read More >

WATER FAST--DAY ONE December 11, 2011 I began a 7-day, water-only fast today and though I already know it’s going to be hard, I know deeper that there is no blessing without a battle. My mind is set to suffer successfully by taking in... Read More >

THE PERFECT TEMPERATURE December 10, 2011 I am currently in this oven called prison, which has been preheated for me before I was even in my mother’s womb. God makes no mistakes, but simply requires our submission and obedience to His will.... Read More >

HIS WILL December 9, 2011 We were given free will so that we can make decisions "as we will.” Consider the choice of a relationship. If you are locked into a relationship with a spouse, friend, or family member, with no... Read More >

A NAMELESS FACE TO THE RESCUE December 8, 2011 (continued from yesterday) It is my heart’s desire that my life be well-pleasing to the Lord. I know very well that I have placed myself in this present “oven” called prison, and al... Read More >

IMPENDING TROUBLE December 7, 2011 (Continued from yesterday) All of this brownie talk has me thinking about my past experiences. Some I would call refreshing “water blessings” and others “bitter oil” for the unexpe... Read More >

BAKING BROWNIES December 6, 2011 One of my favorite “past times” in my past time, was making brownies with mi mama. We would gather all of the ingredients first, (boxed Hershey’s Fudge Brownie mix, ¾ cup of oil, 1 cup of water... Read More >

RESTLESS REST December 5, 2011 I laid down for about an hour this morning, tired, yet my mind was active. I woke up at 5AM and still went through my morning devotions, but instead of writing afterwards, I decided to rest. After... Read More >

GO TO GUY December 4, 2011 For whatever reason, I am the “go-to” inmate on the tier when people want to dump or air their problems. Muslim, Christian, Atheist---it doesn't matter to me; I will simply listen intently to your... Read More >

SHAKE DOWN December 3, 2011 (continued from yesterday) Prison life can be very uneasy because of the fact you have absolutely no control. You are literally the property of the state. Just two days ago, I was peacef... Read More >

CONTINUED THOUGHTS FROM YESTERDAY... December 2, 2011 “Rejoice always. Pray without ceasing. In everything, give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” II Thessalonians 5:16-18 Well, the untimely slamming of my tr... Read More >

REFLECTIONS OF MY FIRST DAY HERE December 1, 2011 It’s hard to wrap my mind around how lonely this place can actually be. If I do not view it a certain way, it will certainly wrap its hold around me. I have never really allowed the darkness of... Read More >

MY PARENTS November 30, 2011 My visit yesterday with my parents was very refreshing. I went out there into the visit hall and we just ‘shot the breeze’ for the long-- but in my eyes, it was a short 90-minute visit. It’s... Read More >

LOST SOULS November 29, 2011 I had a very frustrating day yesterday, but not anything that has affected my peace of mind. I try to practice what I preach here, and if I didn’t, I wouldn’t feel comfortable sharing my heart,... Read More >

DYNAMICS November 28, 2011 The word “dynamics” has consistently found its way into my vocabulary lately. And I would like to share the thought process this word has brought to mind. As I reflect back, I recall many haters... Read More >

PERPLEXED! November 27, 2011 I took today off. Period. I cannot stop thinking about this question: How do you know if you are casting your pearls before swine? I know it is not my problem if individuals do not care to heed... Read More >

ALL I KNOW IS TODAY IS GOOD November 26, 2011 All is very well with my soul today, as we fast approach this holiday season. I cannot speak about my feelings for tomorrow. All I know for sure is that all is well today. The holidays ca... Read More >

WRITTEN ON THANKSGIVING DAY November 25, 2011 Thanksgiving today! But let us be thankful everyday. We just got done with the fellowship group, where we each shared a reason we are thankful. It was beautiful to hear everyone mention “this... Read More >

THANKSGIVING THOUGHTS November 24, 2011 I’m not actually sure where this month has gone, wow! Thanksgiving 2009 seems like it was just yesterday. It was my last Thanksgiving as a free man for at least the next 5 years. And I can recall... Read More >

MEET THE NEW TIER BARBER November 23, 2011 Say hello to the new tier barber; yet another job, making this my third career change during my prison tenure. The question isn’t, “Can I cut hair?” but “Am I willing to cut hair?” You see... Read More >

TUNING OUT November 22, 2011 Is it messed up that I can identify everyone’s voices on my tier and I have developed the ability to block out those who consistently have vulgarities flow from their mouths? Trust me, you cannot... Read More >

GOD PLEASE GIVE ME.... November 21, 2011 I’d like to share the following writing that an inmate shared with me. I’m not sure where it came from or the source of its origin, but needless to say, it is very accurate in shedding light into... Read More >

GOOD NEWS November 20, 2011 Good News Only!! How many people are sick of turning on the NEWS and seeing death, destruction, and devastation daily? Well, change the station, cause we’re changing it for you today, nothing but... Read More >

CONTINUED EARLY MORNING THOUGHTS November 19, 2011 (Thoughts continued from yesterday, still from 11/15’s AM’s thoughts) Everyone defines pain differently. Pain is indeed uncomfortable, and that’s the purpose of it. Pain is the alar... Read More >

ANOTHER FLASHBACK November 18, 2011 (Continued from yesterday’s “AM” Thoughts) In prison, between 6:20 AM and 6:45 AM, prior to morning mess, this place resembles a zoo as it begins to liven up. I have only lived on ... Read More >

MY "AM" THOUGHTS November 17, 2011 The next few days are dedicated to my early morning thoughts. When I wake up, it’s still dark on the tier. I walk cautiously to the front of the tier to see the lone clock hanging on the wall. I... Read More >

SEWAGE OVERFLOW November 16, 2011 There is nowhere to hide in prison. The filth, sludge, and sewage are all around me on a daily basis. So many people in here cannot complete a sentence or a thought without saying “mother f this�... Read More >

OH WOE IS ME! November 15, 2011 My heart breaks for a lot of things and a lot of people in here, but one type of person that I feel no sympathy for are those who continually cry the blues. The ones who have made a mess in their... Read More >

THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO Hmmmm!! November 14, 2011 THIS POST WAS WRITTEN ON 11/11/11 Friday! The 11th day of the 11th month on the 11th year of the century. Here are the top 11 things considered baffling in prison, things that make you go... Read More >

PERSON VS PERSONALITY November 13, 2011 I am who I am today and I would not change this. I am where I am today because of a tragic decision to drink and drive and I am content with the punishment. I recognize now that most of my life I... Read More >

TEMPEST BREWING November 12, 2011 I am finishing my 7-day fast in about an hour and it has been a week of increased clarity. My thoughts were productive and my hunger and thirst after righteousness deemed satisfying. I spent a lot of... Read More >

LETTER 18: BLESSED TO KNOW WHAT YOU KNOW November 11, 2011 Friday! The 11th day of the 11th month into the 11th year. Here are the top 11 things considered baffling in prison, which make you go “HMMMMMMMMMMM?!” ... Read More >

DEAR INMATE November 10, 2011 Purely by the grace of God has He taken my hands, which have caused so much pain, and cleansed them to declare His name.  These hands of mine, which have caused harm in the past, God is using to... Read More >

NOTHING MAKES SENSE SOMETIMES November 9, 2011 I guess as I come to my senses more and more each day, I am convinced more and more that nothing in this world needs to make sense to me. There is nothing this system can tell me or answer me, nor do... Read More >

MATT'S THANKSGIVING PRAYER November 8, 2011 'GIVINGTHANKS' O Lord, consider the gratitude in my heart, For what I'm about to share. ... Read More >

SOCCER DRAMA November 7, 2011 My previous blog ended with the infamous phone call that was big news around the county and the state, which... Read More >

DROPPING A SLIP November 6, 2011 Time to drop my own remedy slip, perhaps not the one the prison honors, but one in which will shed some light into a dark moment in my past. I can write a lot about things I have done personally in... Read More >

FILLED UP November 5, 2011 "You never really know what you've got until it's gone," even pizza. HA! But this is true as the "street food" was delicious and way too filling! There was more than enough to go around--(everyone got... Read More >

PIZZA AND FRIES November 4, 2011 Today I received my long awaited “Incentive Food Package.” This is where an inmate can order food from outside the prison for one meal. It is offered to inmates who have been in the institution... Read More >

FUNERAL OUTCOME November 3, 2011 More from ‘The Amusement Park of my Heart’: Oh, how opening up some of these buried thoughts seems so right, as I can remind myself how God makes beauty from ashes. So it is the... Read More >

THE VIRUS HITS November 2, 2011 Nobody expected what was about to happen the day of the funeral. You would think dealing with sadness and grief would be trial enough. But the devil’s arrows come in all shapes and forms. So back... Read More >

THE VIEWING November 1, 2011 I am continuing my thoughts from yesterday’s blog on the day of my brother’s funeral… None of my thoughts are meant to be callous, but rather I am adopting a “BE STILL” mindset, t... Read More >

FUNERAL DISRUPTIONS October 31, 2011 It’s easy to think back and recall the good times in one’s life, but how about the bad times? Was it actually a bad time, when in hindsight, I see more of God’s protection, hand, and plan,... Read More >

WHERE DO I GO NEXT? October 30, 2011 No one wants to be remembered for their past shames and pain, so please bear with me as I make a claim for the ‘Pier of my Future.’ I know it will all depend on my consistency and balance as a... Read More >

HOW DO THEY SEE ME? October 29, 2011 I am still reflecting on what people see when they see me. I wonder from the time I was in high school to college to the pros, which Matt did they meet? The Amusement Park of my Heart bleeds... Read More >

HAUNTED HOUSE SHAMES October 28, 2011 Self-examination continued from yesterday… These thoughts may not be suitable for children, but then again, I was childish when going through such experiences. “When I was a child, I s... Read More >

THE PIER OF MY PAST October 27, 2011 I wonder what people see when they look at me. I think about this nowadays, knowing that the old me has passed away, making me a new creation in Christ (II Cor. 5:17). So I reflect to keep myself in... Read More >

THE PIER OF MY PRESENT October 26, 2011 Welcome to the ‘Pier of my Present,’ shared from prison, and more creatively known as my “Roller Coaster Confinement.” I cannot help it, but this is the way my thoughts are coming out, maybe... Read More >

OPENING TOMORROW October 25, 2011 “Come One, Come ALL! Join the Confinement and FREE YOURSELF!” ... Read More >

IN A DAZE October 24, 2011 I am too blessed to be stressed. And if I am going to fill myself up with anything, it might as well be purpose—not anxiety. I desire to be a purpose driven man with a purpose filled mind who... Read More >

TELL YOUR STORY October 23, 2011 Do you want to know what I see every day? I see a blessing in the form of a big man with a lion’s heart named Lil John. I know you have heard about him before and have even read some of his... Read More >

DIE TO SELF October 22, 2011 Many people who love and care for me tell me that when they read my blogs, they feel I am being too hard on myself. I appreciate their sentiments. But I would like to explain from my heart that I... Read More >

CON GAMES October 21, 2011 Nobody likes having their intelligence being played on, and I am often perplexed with how to handle these situations. They are nothing more than con-games. It’s not that I am being duped, but that... Read More >

TO BE AS CONSISTENT AS THIS MACHINE October 20, 2011 I sit here in my area today thinking about my word processor. It has produced so many blogs of past, and is the "canvas" that I paint on so vigorously from day to day. I know I’ve typed... Read More >

AN OBITUARY October 19, 2011 If you had the chance to read any of my columns in the Herald Newspaper called, “Prison Talk,” you would see my picture posted in the center and my name listed as the author. But wouldn't you... Read More >

SLOWLY SLIPPING October 18, 2011 Okay, I feel like I'm back now! It’s been a rough few days, but I have regained my composure. I have to remember some distinct bible principles when I’m feeling agitated in this pit of darkness.... Read More >

DISRESPECT ABOUNDS October 17, 2011 There is not much you can do in this environment when respect is not equally exchanged. Bible truths aside, you can treat others the way you want to be treated, but in prison, many inmates have no... Read More >

LOST COMPOSURE October 16, 2011 I failed terribly today, and I have to admit, it was well worth it. I tend to suffer most in the recovery following these moments of failure, but trust that the more I suffer, the more I will... Read More >

LIKE MINDS October 15, 2011 I remember writing about the turnover in prison a few weeks ago, but more specifically, about my area flipping fast. This is usually a 50/50 toss-up as to the caliber of the person that is moved into... Read More >

HEAVENLY VIEW October 14, 2011 When my brother died in 2005, it was really the first time I found myself seriously thinking about heaven and what it was like. After all, I had a brother there now. But after causing a f... Read More >

DENOUNCE RELIGION October 13, 2011 I feel like my thoughts from yesterday were left incomplete. And forgive me if I am sermonizing. You have to understand the environment I am in and the daily frustrations I face. It’s a harsh... Read More >

A LIKEABLE KID October 12, 2011 There is a new young guy on the tier; we shall call him Fab. He only has 5 months left, but has found his way to Mid-State for violating a half-way back program. He seems like a likable kid from the... Read More >

40 PRISON CONTEMPLATIONS October 11, 2011 I had a lot of confirmation this morning while watching various church services on TV. Many things that I have been thinking about for a long time were unexpectedly affirmed. I also decided to stay... Read More >

44 CENTS WORTH October 10, 2011 (* picture/"Lil John") ... Read More >

PLEA BARGAIN October 9, 2011 (Originally written on 10/7/11) PLEA BARGAIN Today marks the 21st month of my incarceration, and it was two years ago today (10/07/2009,) that I signed my plea bargain agreement. I p... Read More >

THE VALUE OF PAPER October 8, 2011 Paper holds a whole new value in prison. Ninety-five percent of inmates do not receive the newspaper in the mail because that requires someone on the outside to set up delivery. So, if the luxury... Read More >

FROM THE BOTTOM OF A WELL October 7, 2011 Just prior to going to prison, my perception of my future was comparable to that of a frog in a well trying to contemplate the ocean. I could not see it. I could not understand it. It was... Read More >

CHILL SETTING IN October 6, 2011 The cold air has arrived and with the chill comes another layer of clothes at night and a whole new mood on the tier. I do not like getting out of bed in the morning when the air is frigid. My body... Read More >

OPPOSITES ATTRACT October 5, 2011 The beginning of another month and I am attracted to the opposites. My prison life has been SHORT-felt, but LONG-lived! There have been DEEP-lessons from SHALLOW-perspectives and I know I have only... Read More >

PRISON TALK---SET FREE BY A HUG October 4, 2011 Prision Talk - Set Free by a Hug By Matt Maher visit : http://www.capemaycountyherald.com/article/76974-prision+talk+set+free+hug Jan. 7, 2010. That particular date�... Read More >

I HAVE A FAVOR TO ASK October 4, 2011 “Lord, may I ask you a favor?” “Yes, you may ask, but I may not give you the favor you want. Understand what it is you ask for first!” “What do You mean, Lord? I only... Read More >

PRAY FOR MY BUNKIE October 3, 2011 My bunkie is going home tomorrow on what is called a “max out” sentence. This means that when he walks out those gates, he does not have to report to parole or any other restrictive body deemed... Read More >

RANDOM THOUGHTS October 2, 2011 Talk about me, I don’t mind. Hate me, no worries. Despise what I’ve done, I do, too. Offer your opinion, why not? Give your support, much appreciated. Condemn the message, why would you? I... Read More >

PRISON TIME October 1, 2011 I am sure many would like to know how time is spent in prison. And I would like to rearrange this inquiry by saying, “Prison is spent with how one views their time.” It is really simple when we... Read More >

SEEK AND YOU WILL FIND September 30, 2011 I just finished a fairly accurate conversation with one of my fellow inmates who is a practicing Muslim. I say fairly accurate because the insight discussed was precise and to the point. We talked... Read More >

THE WORLD OF ANSWERS September 29, 2011 Too many questions! Too many ‘whys’! We live in the world of questions, where our abundance of questions overshadows the obvious answers before us. We ask “why,” but miss the “why not”... Read More >

MIRROR MIRROR ON THE WALL September 28, 2011 I have not seen a full reflection of myself in 21 months now. I have less than a handful of prison Polaroid photos from either my waist up or the distorted distance of a full length picture. ... Read More >

JOY COMETH IN THE MORNING September 27, 2011 (THIS BLOG WAS WRITTEN ON 9/25) Just what the doctor ordered-- SLEEP! I slept in this morning and awoke rejuvenated in mind and spirit at the late hour of 9 a.m.! I slept quality (not qu... Read More >

DEAD TIRED September 26, 2011 Most days I’m flowing with thoughts and don’t have enough time to get them all out of my head. But, today I have been dry and stagnant. I think it has something to do with the way I have been... Read More >

INWARD VERSUS OUTWARD September 25, 2011 Life on the inside, oh how dirty it is! You can clean your area relentlessly day in and day out, but the dust, dirt, and grime finds its way back with no invitation required. This is the ‘house’... Read More >

THE BIG REVEAL September 24, 2011 I worked out hard in the yard tonight and through it all, I was praying hard that tonight would be a special night for my brother’s surprise wedding. The whole time I was praying, I was being run... Read More >

CONFINED September 23, 2011 Confined ain’t the word to describe my own tears; Flowing from my heart, healing defined not in years! The mentality here is backwards, or should I say “ward” to the “back?” No ef... Read More >

SECRETS September 22, 2011 My brother Mike is getting married this weekend, to everyone’s surprise except my parents and his wife’s parents. I say ‘wife’ because they are in fact already married, secretly, so that they... Read More >

MIA MAMMA'S BIRTHDAY September 21, 2011 Mother of Mine, I cannot give you anything on this day, your Birthday, that would equal to what you have ever given me in life. I can send beautiful flowers, but you have helped me blossom... Read More >

THE CONFLICT OF VISITS September 20, 2011 I find myself talking a million words a minute in my visits, when truly, it is impossible to fill my visitors in on life inside these walls. I sometimes feel selfish when the visit is over and I... Read More >

FITTING IN September 19, 2011 In prison, they say, “Get in where you fit in,” and this statement holds true for a majority of the population. It is not uncommon to see segregation clearly all around, specifically in the rec... Read More >

OOPS ! September 18, 2011 This blog should have been posted on 9/15, but was accidentally misplaced! Happy Birthday’s are never too late!!! Today is September 15, 2011 and it is Lil John’s Birthday. He is 46, ... Read More >

BLIND FAITH BY LIL JOHN September 17, 2011 We deal with blind faith everyday in our natural lives, so why is it so hard for us to believe in a merciful God? Most people go to work 40 hours a week to get paid on Friday – Blind... Read More >

STRENGTH THROUGH ADVERSITY September 16, 2011 When a conflict arises out of nowhere, it not only makes or breaks the man, but it reveals the man! What comes out when we are pressed is the difference between a grumbling or a humbling of ourselves... Read More >

FALSE ACCUSATIONS September 15, 2011 THIS BLOG WAS ACTUALLY WRITTEN ON 09/13/2011 Here we go again! To be prepared is the first line of defense, but preparation does not equal ready. You can properly set your mind to handle ... Read More >

DEAR GOD September 14, 2011 A LETTER TO GOD FROM LITTLE JOHN (AKA MATT’S PRISON TRAINER) Dear God, I’m writing to apologize to you for my life of failings and also for not recognizing your efforts in the past... Read More >

FOOLISH THOUGHTS September 13, 2011 Foolish thoughts today with a wise lesson! What man intends for hard, God uses for good. Nothing has been done or will be done outside of His knowledge. We can never understand why things happen or... Read More >

Dearest Brother in Heaven September 12, 2011 Happy Birthday once again, as another year has quickly passed, marking your fifth birthday spent in eternity, and your second birthday for me incarcerated. But John, this birthday letter to you is... Read More >

"WENT IN" September 11, 2011 In the fellowship group today, my bunkie “went in.” “Went in” is a term to describe an individual giving it his all or one who has engaged in an action to the fullest. “He went in” can... Read More >

SET YOUR MIND'S PACE September 10, 2011 My eyes are “running heavy” in this very moment, but my mind is “walking steady.” As I sit here and embrace the quietest part of the day on the tier, I can close my eyes and squeeze them shut... Read More >

NUMBER MY DAYS September 9, 2011 Just because the time passes, does not mean progress is in motion. Rightfully, we progress with time, but often the time consistently rolls without us following suit in mind, body, and spirit. In... Read More >

SURPRISE WEDDING!!! September 8, 2011 In real time, today is September 25th. Matt sent this letter home to be read at his brother's "surprise wedding" party that took place yesterday, September 24th. The beautiful affair was kept a... Read More >

TRUE VIEW September 7, 2011 I am CONFINED and I am at PEACE! What’s the reason and logic behind that? I see the same things as my fellow inmates, but I choose to view them differently. My TRUE VIEW is seeing my environment... Read More >

INMATE UPDATES September 6, 2011 It is very encouraging to hear that so many different types of people are enjoying the blogs, from other inmates across the country, to other countries around the world. Not only is it therapeutic... Read More >

FROM NEW JERSEY TO NEW YORK September 5, 2011 I have exchanged several letters thus far with Jayson in his Mid-State absence of about 3 weeks now. I am happy to report that ALL is well from Rikers Island Jail in NY, although a lot more chaotic... Read More >

TWO ROADS September 4, 2011 The following excerpt is called “TWO ROADS ONE DECISION,” by Norman Brooks, found in the Northern State Periodicals by “Sincere”: ... Read More >

INMATES ON THE MOVE September 3, 2011 The change-over is constant in here as there are many new faces on my tier daily. Within the next month or so, my entire area will have flipped, as my bunkie and Lil John’s bunkie, and several of... Read More >

TIME: GOD'S MEASURING STICK September 2, 2011 It’s Labor Day Weekend already! I still can’t figure out where the time is going, but trust and know that I am using it as best as I know how. I am no longer measuring man’s time, but allowing... Read More >

BIRTHING PAINS September 1, 2011 How do you let out what God has placed inside of you? First of all, we must recognize that God has placed His promise seed inside each and every one of His children; and then it is up to us to give... Read More >

SEARCH ME August 31, 2011 I pray, “Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me, and know my anxieties; And see if there is any wicked way in me,” (Psalm 139:23) and I get not what I wanted, but what I needed! ... Read More >

SOUP FOR THE SOUL August 30, 2011 I am not feeling too well today, but God always provides. I was fighting these aches and pains yesterday, but they carried into today, so I decided to sleep in for the first time in a long time. ... Read More >

HURRICANE IRENE August 29, 2011 Visits were cancelled this past weekend because of Hurricane Irene and her journey up the East coast. I didn’t want to write about how this storm affected inmates until after it had cleared. ... Read More >

Matt's First Column in the Herald August 28, 2011 Matt describes prison in his first column in the Cape May County Herald. Be sure to check it out (click "The Press Room" link above) or copy and paste the following link in your address bar: ... Read More >

LOADS OF PAIN August 28, 2011 There is so much pain in prison, and it is pain of the past. Past problems, past failures, past hurts… pain! This pain is carried for the wrong reasons and seems to be the catalyst for why so many... Read More >

BROKEN SYSTEM August 27, 2011 One of my fellow inmates came back from the parole board devastated by the ‘hit’ he just received to extend his time served (60 months) by an additional two years.The sad thing is there was more... Read More >

DEAD AND GONE August 26, 2011 Do not feel sorry for me! I do not even feel sorry for me! Feel sorry for those who are dead and gone, both confined physically and dead spiritually! I’ve been traveling on the wrong road too... Read More >

SO WHY PRISON? August 25, 2011 (Continued from 8/21/2011) “Why in prison? It makes me sick to my stomach to see so many hypocrites supposedly find God in prison, and I don’t want to be that,” Sik stated. Sik ... Read More >

JUDGMENTAL BLOG August 24, 2011 For the first time in my 20 months of my incarceration, I received a letter stating I was being judgmental in one of my blogs. They said that the blog about my Bunkie and the system “assisting... Read More >

EAST COAST QUAKE August 23, 2011 Okay my East Coast friends: Where were you when the earthquake hit? I was locked up and I was shaken up, but the faith in me was waiting to get taken up! I kid you not, though it was a s... Read More >

GOD'S SPECIALTY August 22, 2011 I used to believe I was something, now I know that I am nothing. And it is this nothing that I must be, For Christ to fully live in me! Prison helps produce a feeling of being a n... Read More >

BEING REAL August 21, 2011 I do not want to take away from the true sincerity and REALNESS in the words that will be shared, but I want to give a short lead up to how they came about. In a nutshell, Lil John told me that... Read More >

MY BUNKIE'S CLEAR HEAD August 20, 2011 (This is a follow-up from 7/29/2011) This just in! My Bunkie has taken his mind back by force. It may have been held hostage for some time now, but he has officially been let loose from o... Read More >

REGARDLESS OF FAILURES CONTINUE ON August 19, 2010 I have to clean up what I messed up, an impossible deed by the world’s standards.--and mine. But nothing is impossible by the Lord’s standards. By Him, I am forgiven; by the world I am forbidden. ... Read More >

#55 HAS LEFT THE BUILDING August 18, 2011 Okay Jay has officially left the building and is probably at Rikers Jail in NY by now. I was able to see him last night in church as we exchanged farewells. We both agreed that it’s not GOODBYE,... Read More >

STRIVING TO BE WHOLE August 17, 2011 There is always more than one PART to a WHOLE; Let us agree that to be WHOLE, we must be content with every PART! “Not that I speak in regard to NEED, for I have learned in whatever stat... Read More >

PAST PAIN August 16, 2011 Jayson’s name has been in the media lately and most of the articles drudge up the bad things of his past. The world is always quick to remind us of our past; I am thankful that God does not. It... Read More >

JAYSON WILLIAMS PREPARING TO LEAVE PRISON August 15, 2011 Jayson leaves Mid State in a few days and his departure from here is the beginning of another journey ‘there.’ His next arrival is Riker’s prison in NY, ‘there’ he is answering a first time... Read More >

CIRCUS ACTS August 14, 2011 I often wonder as I sit in my area prior to writing down my thoughts, how many times I can honestly analyze my environment without beating the same animal over and over again. Then I realize this... Read More >

FREEDOM SIDE August 13, 2011 I just got done a visit with my two good friends from home, and I have no doubt in my mind how blessed I am to have such true friends and support. Most of the visit was spent catching up, but a lot... Read More >

WHO HAS YOUR BACK? August 12, 2011 Who would want to challenge the world in tug of war? The world’s ways are enticing and pleasurable, so why would you fight against that? It is a lot easier to grab that side of the rope and just... Read More >

WHAT WILL? August 11, 2011 You want PEACE of mind and living, here’s another PIECE of mine from prison: What will it take to consider your ways; A death, disease, divorce, the sorts? How about a tra... Read More >

MY HEART OF SHAME August 10, 2011 I’m just trying to live up to what Christ desires for me to be. And this is not for man’s confirmation or favor, but, rather, to help man’s affirmation of faith. One of the hardest things that... Read More >

SPOUTING OFF August 9, 2011 I recently received a letter from someone telling me they read the blogs and enjoy them, but they are afraid I am using too many Bible verses for their liking. “Hmmmm,” I thought, “I wonder... Read More >

MY FATHER'S ADVICE August 8, 2011 Since I no longer have my foot on the ball, I figured it was time to put my hand on the ball, and I’m not talking about a soccer ball. Doobey has officially brought me out of Hand Ball re... Read More >

EYES ARE THE WINDOWS August 7, 2011 I have seen some devious things go down in here the past 19 months. Intentions and behaviors that I was never around for the first 25 years of my life, so needless to say, I had to learn quickly how... Read More >

DID I MISS FELLOWSHIP? August 6, 2011 It’s amazing how many inmates say they want to change, but make no effort to do so. They will talk about it until they are blue in the face, but the inconsistent behavior in their lives talks... Read More >

PRECIOUS ALIVIA August 5, 2011 Today is my beautiful and precious niece Alivia’s birthday. She is 6-years-old and ALL grown up. That’s 6 years of life, 6 years of blessing, and 6 years of growth. She is like this little lady... Read More >

FRUSTRATING MOMENTS August 4, 2011 I can’t be all things to all people in here. I know what I want to be and WHO I must emulate, but when I do not live up to that standard, I let those around me down. Not to mention letting myself... Read More >

SAVED FROM MYSELF August 3, 2011 The “me in me” failed miserably this morning and had it not been for the “Christ in me,” I would have stayed in a rut allowing for the “me in me” to implode. It is still before 9am and I... Read More >

PERFECT TIMING August 2, 2011 I tend to forget that my family and friends have their own responsibilities on the street. One thing prison succeeds in doing is creating anxiousness. You can request family or friends to do... Read More >

HEALTHY FUTURE August 1, 2011 The future cannot be ill, when your faith is well. “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” (Hebrews 11:1) Though I don’t know what the future holds,... Read More >

MIND CONFUSION July 31, 2011 Crazy feelings and crazy thoughts again, but I cannot share them as I would like to for several reasons, but God knows what I mean, “for the Lord searches all hearts and understands all the intent... Read More >

MAKING THE NUMBERS COUNT July 30, 2011 It’s another fast week and another fast month. New beginnings every day, with lessons learned in every way. New opportunities and new tests to pass. Here is my 0 to 10 that ‘counts’ to me: ... Read More >

LEGAL DRUGS July 29, 2011 Don’t want to deal with your time or problems in prison? Well that’s easy! Numb the pain. How do you do that—you may ask. Drop a slip for medical or psych appointment and make up a reason... Read More >

NO ALONE TIME July 28, 2011 I went outside today to simply enjoy the summer sun. No workout, no sport, no conversations-- so I thought! Sometimes, outside is the only escape for an inmate, where you can get away from the chaos... Read More >

KEEPING IT SIMPLE July 27, 2011 Dear Heavenly Father, “So far today I am doing very well. I have not lied, cheated or complained. I have not looked down upon my neighbors nor have I gossiped about others. So far, so... Read More >

Dear Mrs. Maher (From Lil John) July 26, 2011 Lil John, Matt's trainer and fellow inmate, mailed the following letter to Matt's mom last week. It came at the perfect time and was such an encouragement. God bless you, Little John! Dear... Read More >

HEAVENBOUND July 25, 2011 it has cooled off tremendously on the tier(86 degrees), but they say another heat wave is coming. No worries either way. I’m just keeping my eyes looking upward as the days and weeks continue to... Read More >

PRISON HUMOR July 24, 2011 I have not seen my father in a long time, maybe close to three months or so, due to family vacation and his recent battle with pneumonia. During his illness, he wrote me a letter about how distraught... Read More >

CHECKMATE July 23, 2011 Another hot day (100+), but I’ve got my mind made-up, I’m staying prayed-up, and I stand in awe of the environmental change-up. Yep, this unit is beginning to understand unity! Thing... Read More >

HOT LIKE A SAUNA July 22, 2011 Some additional thoughts from yesterday’s contemplations. I just realized why I am so comfortable on the tier during this heat wave, (it is 90 degrees plus on the tier right now). Mind you, the... Read More >

REMINDERS OF PRESEASON July 21, 2011 This is our 5th official heat wave of the summer which makes this tier an icky sticky brick oven. It was 103 today and will be 111 degrees tomorrow. But to be completely honest, none of these... Read More >

A NEW NAME July 20, 2011 CONTINUED THOUGHTS FROM YESTERDAY… I spoke with “O” the night before his breakthrough in Bible Study. He had returned from a court trip which was dictating his future release. Upon ... Read More >

OUR BROKEN PRISON SYSTEM July 19, 2011 What would make a hardened gang member with stain (high ranking) and several bodies (murders) on his jacket break down today in Bible study? Interesting what the system failed to do for the past 6... Read More >

GOD SENSE July 18, 2011 These thoughts do not even have to make sense to be telling! In fact, if they made any more sense, they would be a dolla, HA! Today in MBS Fellowship, our infamous character Doobey strolled over and... Read More >

MY CRAZY PRISON WORK OUT July 17, 2011 Lil John has officially and consistently brought me outside my comfort zone as he has been personally training me in the prison yard for the past 2 months. He calls me his “machine” because he... Read More >

DISGUSTING HABITS July 16, 2011 Let me bring you into my world for a moment because I know prior to this incarceration I would have never witnessed some of the things that I have seen behind these walls. When I attended c... Read More >

VENTING!! July 15, 2011 Do you know how hard it is to never have a moment to yourself? I am torn at being open for everybody’s use ALL the time or do I speak up and say, “Not right now!” Is that Christlike? I have... Read More >

THE SAGAS CONTINUE July 14, 2011 The saga of Doobey continues, as he seems open to the truth and repeatedly seeks my opinion on various scriptures. What began as debates between him and I have quickly turned to him asking and then... Read More >

THEN AND NOW July 13, 2011 My thoughts from “then” and “now” are entirely different, but I know they still hold exceptional value! I am confident that my “then” will help those in the “now;” and just as my �... Read More >

THROUGH WHICH EYES? July 12, 2011 THROUGH THE EYES OF THIS WORLD: ... Read More >

THE POWER OF CHANGE July 11, 2011 Wow! There is so much going on inside and outside of these walls. I can share about God’s Hand on both ends, but would need more than a BLOG to do so! Just on this tier alone, I have seen several... Read More >

A RAGING FIRE July 10, 2011 “I need to talk to you outside. If that’s ok?” Kino said in a soft unassuming tone right before AM rec. I originally thought he wanted to ask for something ‘material,’ but it turned out... Read More >

FIRST YEAR BLOGS July 9, 2011 ... Read More >

A WORD FROM LIL J July 8, 2011 It has been extremely hot and humid here the past few days, but 3 days in a row, after the sun thought he was set in his ways, heavy thunderstorms overclouded his rays. The storms certainly cooled... Read More >

THE WIND BENEATH ME July 7, 2011 Wow! Seven months into this year and 18 months exactly into my incarceration on this 7th day of July. And I still find rest and remain at peace amongst chaos, knowing that whatever storm, wave, or... Read More >

HAS TIME BURIED ME? July 6, 2011 External time goes for me as it goes for you, this is certain! How we are able to use this gift differs only by the setting in which we live in, and the internal in which we live on (the heart). You... Read More >

SHORT THOUGHTS July 5, 2011 Today’s thoughts will be short in length but long in meaning, not because they are not plenty, but because many words are not needed nor warranted to explain a worry-free mind and heart guarded by... Read More >

SECOND FOURTH July 4, 2011 Independence Day in prison for the second time. The date makes it the FOURTH of JULY, but for an inmate, it’s just another day on the inside! Today marks the 235th year of liberty for the United... Read More >

BREAKING BOREDOM July 3, 2011 Analysis without self-examination makes condemnation! I view my environment with an open eye, a curious frown, and an eager heart. I know very well how persuasive boredom can be and I have watched... Read More >

SPECIAL DELIVERY July 2, 2011 Heavenly Father: You ordered these a long time ago and I never picked them up. You did not ask for them back, nor did You ask for credit. They sat there, paid for, patiently awaiting my c... Read More >

MORE TOTALLY REVEALING STUFF July 1, 2011 And the horse came back, thirsting for the “rivers of living water.” (John 7:38) I was excited to ask Doobey my next question the following morning, I said, “What was yesterday’s date?” He... Read More >

BIBLE WARS June 30, 2011 (“Revealing” from a few nights ago …) Doobey, the proclaimed Aryan inmate, wanted to talk to me the other night and called me over to his area. It was open for anyone around to hear ... Read More >

DOG DAY AFTERNOON June 29, 2011 When you treat a man “as he is,” then he will remain “as he is,” but when you treat a man “as he should be,” then he will become what God made him to be. Some inmates only act the way... Read More >

GO WITH THE FLOW June 28, 2011 Just going with the flow in here can be robotic at times and is the PIECE of prison that settles an inmate into a mundane lifestyle. According to Webster’s Dictionary, mundane means ‘pertaining... Read More >

GET BETTER TO DO BETTER June 27, 2011 When you want things to get better – know better to do better, and God will allow you to be better! This next experience was told to me by a fellow inmate and is proof of how the conscience can be... Read More >

WHAT'S A MANGEL? June 26, 2011 The talent and artistic ability in here would blow your mind. I have about 5 incredible artists on my tier and ALL except one never drew until prison. It is simply tragic how much talent goes... Read More >

BRING IT ON! June 25, 2011 You bring it with you, it doesn’t just happen! I brought it out from the inside and they brought it in from the outside. Although I had to walk through 2 metal detectors and then get patted down... Read More >

STRONG BELIEFS June 24, 2011 The tension is tight around here and everyone is aware of the new inmate’s strong hate towards a certain race. Our character Doobey has succeeded in bringing several of my fellow inmates to a �... Read More >

LOST SHEEP June 23, 2011 This one is a doozey! Actually, this tale involves a new inmate named ‘Doobey.’ I do not even know where to begin, so I will start with the initial question he asked me upon his first day on the... Read More >

NATURAL PRESSURE June 22, 2011 I am who I am today because of my past. God knew this! My former iniquities were the exact ingredients God needed to produce the faith I am confident in today. I am no longer what I once was, nor... Read More >

HOW TO SOLVE A PROBLEM June 21, 2011 The problem isn’t our problems; the problem is that we seek our answers among the living. When problems arise, the immediate desire is to find a solution. Often, we seek the world’s remedy,... Read More >

TO MY FATHER June 20, 2011 IF I WERE PRESENT WITH YOU TODAY Father, If I were present with you today, This is what I’d say…. I’d thank you from the bottom of my heart, For always bein... Read More >

TIME WELL SPENT June 19, 2011 I spent 2 hours outside for early rec and an hour and a half back outside for late rec, making my time spent on the tier equaling 20 hours and 30 minutes. I am sleeping about 6 hours a night, making... Read More >

MAD THOUGHTS June 18, 2011 ... Read More >

THE WHOLE TRUTH June 17, 2011 There are always 3 sides to a story. Your side, their side, and the truth! So how are we to find the truth when the other two sides don’t add up? Consider the judge's position, where two sides... Read More >

RIGHT YOUR WRONG June 16, 2011 “I wanna do it right this time!” Yes, we would all like to do it right this time, but unfortunately this PIECE of prison mentality is so far from right, even writing about it makes me f... Read More >

HELP WANTED June 15, 2011 I got a job! A very lucrative Business that has been family owned and operated for a long time now. The schedule is very demanding, but rewarding. It’s a full-time gig that offers an ‘eternity�... Read More >

A CROSS ON YOUR BACK June 14, 2011 I always thought it was cool to wear my cross around my neck. With an expensive chain and gold cross pendant, wearing my cross never seemed more natural and fashionable….. So I thought! <... Read More >

DO UNTO OTHERS June 13, 2011 The Golden Rule: Treat others the way we would like to be treated! We all have that option, but not many exercise such “Gold” and often we become like ‘fool’s gold’ by our own doing. It... Read More >

HEAVEN REJOICES June 12, 2011 You want to know how I know that there is more joy in Heaven right now over one outcast prisoner than over 99 duty-bound church folk? Because I just witnessed my bunkie accept Jesus Christ as his... Read More >

DON'T GET HIT WITH A SLEDGEHAMMER June 11, 2011 God will use any means necessary to get our attention. I know this ALL too well because He was trying to get mine for a long time prior to March 7th, 2009. Whether it was in the form of a person,... Read More >

GOD USES OUR FAILURES June 10, 2011 “Isn’t that ‘That Guy’ who killed somebody drunk driving?!” Yes it is, and so that God could display His excellence for ALL to see, He needs to make an example before ALL to see�... Read More >

TEARS June 9, 2011 Oh Lord! That I may BLESS YOU indeed… I can pray words, but empty. I can pray chants, but ritual. I can pray songs, but selfish. So Lord, I pray tears, and flowing. I pray ... Read More >

NO COINCIDENCES June 8, 2011 Out of all the possible conversations and topics, it landed on that one. And out of all the pages and verses in the Bible, it rested on the right one. You cannot make this stuff up, nor could it... Read More >

INTELLECTUAL INSANITY June 7, 2011 The absurdity of this place is growing by leaps and bounds every day, and it is this very absurd humor that keeps an inmate lighthearted. The scenario I am about to describe may not be funny to a... Read More >

WHAT DO YOU VALUE? June 6, 2011 We spend so much valuable time and energy in life building the wrong relationships. Those ‘ships,’ lacking ‘relation’ and purpose, are like empty vessels sent out across the sea, which only... Read More >

DO YOU REALLY KNOW? June 5, 2011 As per yesterday’s blog, you cannot help but to say “WOW” to those facts. Could man have possibly been that strategic and intellectually capable of such perfect, yet mysterious wisdom? And... Read More >

NUMBER MYSTERY June 4, 2011 “When reading the fact below, keep in mind that the WHOLE BIBLE was not written by just 1 person, but by 40 different authors, who wrote 66 books over a period of 1500 years and each Author claims... Read More >

DO YOU HAVE? June 3, 2011 I never realized how often I am being watched in this environment. By the guards? No, though they are always aware of inmate activity and interaction. By the cameras? No, as they are absent from... Read More >

PRESS ON June 2, 2011 I can press on, I will press on, I must press on! When it feels like the world is pressing you on every side, use that pressure to progress! Eventually, pressure that is not released in its natural... Read More >

TO SEE THE UNSEEN June 1, 2011 It is inexplicably amazing how God brings us to the right place at the right time for the right reasons. I have noticed that when we allow HIM to arrange such circumstances, it is always RIGHT; but... Read More >

OH WHAT A DAY! May 31, 2011 Memorial Day in Prison! And I could not have asked for a more memorable experience. The SUN and the SON; the TIER and a TEAR! Let me elaborate - The SUN is shining in its brightness and glory and I... Read More >

"R"emember! May 30, 2011 This PIECE of prison mentality is more than a PIECE, it is a pieRce! This PIECE should be a PEACE for ALL inmates, but many who fail to acknowledge this piece of prison, which is “R”emembering... Read More >

HOLIDAY WEEKEND May 29, 2011 Memorial Day Weekend already! The anticipation, the build-up, the planning, it’s finally here, but will soon pass away. A prisoner takes this time hard, knowing that his family and friends are... Read More >

EXTERNAL AFFECTS OUR INTERNAL May 28, 2011 It’s getting very hot outside and this greatly heats up the inside. The tiers are like brick ovens in the summer weather, and this equates to irritable inmates. There is no air conditioning, and... Read More >

WALK YOUR TALK May 27, 2011 It doesn’t matter if you talk about God or not, people should know that you are ‘set apart’ based on the way you act. Like the examples we find in the book of Esther in the Bible, which, by the... Read More >

DEAR HEART OF MINE May 26, 2011 Please accept this letter and its content as it comes from my core conviction and responsibility to you. ‘Heart of Mine,’ we have come a long way together and though the way was decided by us, it... Read More >

THE POWER OF SELF May 25, 2011 According to “The Merriam-Webster Thesaurus,’ “philosophy” is the basic beliefs or guiding principles of a person or group. “World Philosophies” have been summarized in this man... Read More >

WHAT'S IN A MINUTE May 24, 2011 I probably should not write about his, but it is quite absurd and sometimes when put into proper perspective, some may see how inhumane this actually is. This PIECE of prison is highly responsible... Read More >

THE BATTLE BETWEEN GOOD AND EVIL May 23, 2011 Why would a good God allow evil? An ancient legend explains a face to face meeting between Satan and God outside of Paradise Garden. The meeting was not only a confrontation between good a... Read More >

THE END OF THE WORLD? May 22, 2011 OK! If you are reading this BLOG, then the world has not ended on the above date like predicted by Harold Camping. Wow! DO you see how simple minded we have become when we allow someone to... Read More >

THE POWER OF FAILURE May 21, 2011 We are afraid to fail because we believe that failure makes us flawed. I beg to differ, and failure to me is simply the opportunity to begin again, but this time with Christ at life’s center. ... Read More >

MY NEW BUNKIE May 20, 2011 The ‘tier Bible Study’ is growing and going strong. Many have stepped up to lead it and have opened up to God because of it. None more telling than when my very own Bunkie (prison term for bunk... Read More >

GOOD GRACE May 19, 2011 Who I am in the present and what I am doing in the moment is what truly counts. Anything done in the past may be erased by God’s grace and anything planned for the future is protected by the same. ... Read More >

LITTLE MAHOGANY May 18, 2011 The little Mahogany awoke in a deep sweat and was unsure if the pain, the holes, and the carving had been real. Was it a dream, a nightmare, or reality? He looked down upon his body, which revealed... Read More >

TIME GOES QUICK May 17, 2011 We are halfway through the month of May, and I’m not sure how another Memorial Day weekend approaches so fast. Sixteen months incarcerated that feels like only 2 weeks thus far. It’s crazy to... Read More >

THE POTTER AND HIS CLAY May 16, 2011 I remember when I was a kid in Christian School, we went on multiple educational field trips. One such trip was to a place called Cold Spring Village in North Cape May and this memory has come to... Read More >

THE POWER OF SNAIL MAIL May 15, 2011 I just burned the entire afternoon, from 12:30 p.m. to 6:30 p.m. responding to some amazing mail. Let’s see, we hit Texas, Florida, Washington, Pennsylvania, New York, many parts of New Jersey, and... Read More >

UNDER THE WEATHER May 14, 2011 I woke up feeling like a brick hit me in the head this morning. I was up and dizzy with aches around 5:30 a.m. and then decided to lay back down, only to relapse into a 3-hour nap that found me out... Read More >

ENDURE THROUGH PAIN May 13, 2011 What type of joy could possibly be set before a man that would make him want to endure through pain? What is it about pain that turns us away so easily? I think we tend to forget that pain is... Read More >

WHAT'S GOOD? May 12, 2011 As the PA (Prison announcement) System announced Unit 7 Rec to the Big Yard this morning, I thought about “what’s good?” When I got into the Rec Yard, I literally laid on my back for the entire... Read More >

GOT FRIENDS May 11, 2011 Tell me who your best friends are, and I will tell you who you are. If you run with wolves, you will learn to howl. But, if you associate with eagles, you will learn how to soar to great heights. �... Read More >

WOLVES IN THE DEN May 10, 2011 Now we are going in the right direction! And I thought the devil had given up, but today was the perfect example that he is alive and on the prowl on this new tier. I thought I left the snakes... Read More >

WHAT'S IN A NUMBER? May 9, 2011 ... Read More >

THE REVOLVING DOOR May 8, 2011 This is a very basic and simple truth: Prison is a “Revolving Door.” PRISON does not change the man, the rehabilitation does not change the man, and not even the punishment will change... Read More >

A PRAYER OF GRATITUDE May 7, 2011 Oh Lord, I do not know why You have found favor with Me, nor can I ever explain properly how gracious and merciful You have been with my life, for there are no words that could express such magnitude,... Read More >

TAKING CARE OF THE TRASH May 6, 2011 A well-known politician once said, “Prison is the place where society throws all of the trash that they collect in hopes to clean up the communities.” I found that statement to be true,... Read More >

SPRING FORWARD May 5, 2011 It’s going to be a beautiful morning and our rec rotation is first, so I’m gonna go get some fresh air and sun. The weather has been hit or miss during our rec periods, and I’m looking forward... Read More >

LET'S GET BACK TO THE BASIC TRUTH May 4, 2011 Many may not like this view, but just because something is not seen as a fact, it does not mean it is not truth. So without further ado, here is the truth that may hurt! Our actions, good or evil, are... Read More >

THE VALUE OF THE WOOD IS IN THE ROCK May 3, 2011 As I was running in the prison yard, my foot “tripped” upon a ROCK. I almost lost my step and I almost took a flop. ... Read More >

THE POWER OF SPACES May 2, 2011 I try to write these experiences as best as I possibly can, but after reading them back, I realize they are just words on paper and not my actual experience. Experience is lived, words are read. ... Read More >

EAGLE OR SEAGULL May 1, 2011 Eagle or Sea Gull? The higher you soar, it’s a must to “ignore more.” You can be sure that the moment you claim your strength from the Lord and actively hope in Him, expect sea gulls to show up!... Read More >

WINGS LIKE AN EAGLE April 30, 2011 There is more to a confinement than meets the eye and if we learn from the eagle, which pines above the clouds when a storm or wind approaches, we too can rise above our confinement and “mount up... Read More >

WHO'S THAT KNOCKING ON MY DOOR? April 29, 2011 The past knocked at my door today. “Does Matthew Maher live here?” The past asked, “No” I answered, “He died. Christ lives here now. So go away!” And with the past leaving, the... Read More >

ROMAN'S VISIT April 28, 2011 “The words ‘Praise the Lord’ occur in the Bible 366 times, once for every day of the year, including leap year,” (Alone with God, p 120, Wurmbrand) and today would be one of the days - -... Read More >

THE CATFISH April 27, 2011 I lost my “flavor” when I became complacent with my surroundings - - the world I lived in. I was content and settled in allowing my outside to heavily influence my inside. There was no... Read More >

NEW BEGINNINGS April 26, 2011 And Jesus said, “It is finished!” and with that declaration we were given a new beginning. He accomplished, overcame, completed - - with a new beginning. Life is filled with fresh starts where... Read More >

SHIPWRECKED April 25, 2011 The secret to knowing God so dearly and seeing Him so clearly is when we have come to the end of ourselves and our circumstances and realize God is still there. When we come to realize that all we... Read More >

VICTIM OR VICTOR April 24, 2011 You can be a victim in life or claim victory in life. “And this is the victory that has overcome the world - - our faith. (I John 5:4) To choose or not to choose such faith boils down t... Read More >

STUNTED GROWTH April 23, 2011 Oh what a powerful topic the Lord placed on my heart to share in the Bible Study today. For some odd reason - - or should I say God reason - - the entire tier was awake and actually 20+ came over to... Read More >

TIME TO GET UP April 22, 2011 I have to admit that it is very weird not seeing Jay now, and I guess spending 24/7 of our time together for one year straight would have that effect. He certainly kept me sharp and I hope I kept him... Read More >

PRISON IS AN ISLAND April 21, 2011 Prison is an island where provisions are limited but provided. I once was on regular land with ALL that I ever needed, but I didn’t see all that I had nor did I heed ALL that I knew in my heart. ... Read More >

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY! April 20, 2011 EVERY DAY I love you and honor you, but today is the day that they named after you, that I may remind you how much I greatly appreciate you. I know you know this and do not require my assurance, but I... Read More >

IF WALLS COULD TALK April 19, 2011 If these prison walls could talk, I wonder what they would say? Would they report on the continual folly and boredom that takes place or would they delve deeper than that? Maybe they would like to... Read More >

STRIVE TO BE WHOLE April 18, 2011 I strive to be complete and I know that enduring through trials is the necessary means to reach the desired end God has planned for me. But when does it end? A question we would all like answered... Read More >

DISTRACTIONS April 17, 2011 We were not created to please everyone; that is simply impossible! I must have missed that lesson my entire life because I was always trying to please everyone, and if someone didn’t like me or what... Read More >

REVERSE THINKING April 16, 2011 I read the following in a book and thought it was quite clever. I hope you think so too! I will live my life according to these beliefs! God does not exist. It’s ju... Read More >

LISTEN WELL April 15, 2011 The classic sign of a man who does not listen well is not forgetfulness or attention span. No! The sign of a man who does not listen well is he who only hears himself. - - At a social gat... Read More >

SILENCE IS GOLDEN April 14, 2011 I have learned that there is much more to silence than meets the ear. Tender silence is nice, but if misused by our thoughts, it can quickly become noise. I am around noise ALL day and now even ALL... Read More >

A FAILED PLOT April 13, 2011 Today marks my second birthday in prison! Crazy because time is flying. I still remember my ‘blog’ from last year’s prison birthday party and today I remain thankful and humbled that the �... Read More >

SCATTERED THOUHTS April 12, 2011 I’ve come to the end of myself because self can no longer rule, and it is at this end, that life truly begins. Life prior was based on self, but to be properly used, self must be refused. I no... Read More >

DON’T LET THE PAST DEFINE YOU April 11, 2011 Spending massive amounts of time dwelling on our past and our losses, only to attempt to counter those grievances by obsessively pondering the future, will leave us void of the present and the work to... Read More >

PASS THE TEST April 10, 2011 This is the TEST! ... Read More >

MUSIC TO MY EARS April 9, 2011 The experience that I witnessed today is beyond man's ability to comprehend, and my words cannot possibly do it justice---but I’ll do my best to share what happened in our MBS (Mind/Body/Spirit)... Read More >

FREE AT LAST April 8, 2011 I do not desire "to be free." I am free. I will once again claim what I have stated many times before: even if I could leave prison tomorrow, I wouldn’t. I know that the work being done within me... Read More >

DIE TO SELF April 7, 2011 Another simple concept, yet so hard to apply, is to “die daily.” ... Read More >

TRAINING TIER 7 April 6, 2011 And MBS Training has made its way to Tier 7East, beginning yesterday around 10:45 a.m. and currently we have 7 inmates in fellowship! I wanted to wait til this morning to report on this because I... Read More >

A BUNKIE'S PRAYER April 5, 2011 How amazing and perfect is our Lord, who is the Master Planter and His seeds always show growth immediately---whether we see it or not. And as my writing yesterday was a prayer, it could not have fit... Read More >

PETITIONS TO GOD April 4, 2011 My Father in Heaven, do with me as You want, but I don’t want to do anything outside of Your will. I will Be Still, but please be clear. Just Your name alone is worthy to be praised, even in the... Read More >

"WHY ME" SOB STORY April 3, 2011 Everybody has a story to tell in prison, and a majority of them don’t hesitate to tell them. Without prompting, almost every story turns into a “Why Me,” sob story. Now I’m sure everyone has... Read More >

COMFORT VERSUS THE THORN April 2, 2011 “Then He brought us out from there, that He might bring us in, to give us the land of which He swore to our fathers.” (Deuteronomy 6:23) I have been on this new tier, “the jungle,�... Read More >

FOUL MOUTHS April 1, 2011 You want the “dirty” truth and the PIECE of prison mentality that can really make your stomach churn? It’s not the filthy living areas, or the unclean bathrooms that agitate your soul. It’s... Read More >

CASH IN ON WHAT YOUR SOUL SEES March 31, 2011 As the man hung there in the moment eyes blurred with blood, sweat, and tears; Death was moments away and his body concurred his heart confirming and beating with fear. Many... Read More >

WHEN DARKNESS COMES March 30, 2011 It is better to wake up in dark circumstances with God’s presence than to wake up alone in presumed light without God’s assurance or confirmation. Even in times of trial and darkness, when with... Read More >

WHAT DO YOU SEE? March 29, 2011 The goal is to be seen and have people “turn to the Lord” and it is not to be anything you do, but what Jesus Christ has done for you or through you. Sometimes the work that Christ has done does... Read More >

ALL THINGS March 28, 2011 I share my journey and story, not for me, but so that God may receive all the glory, honor, and praise. “For of Him and through Him and to Him are ALL things, to whom be glory forever A... Read More >

BEHIND THE EYES March 27, 2011 There is so much pain in this world and so much more behind these walls. Yet people are hesitant to expose their pain because they are convinced that bottling it up is the only remedy. I’ve come to... Read More >

WHO POSSESSES YOUR GATE? March 26, 2011 In ancient cities, the protection of the front gate was the most important foundation to maintaining a secure city. Essentially, whoever “possessed the gate” controlled the city’s integrity and... Read More >

RELOCATED, RE-FOCUSED, REWARDED March 25, 2011 You could not have convinced me “in that moment” when I was told to pack up and move that the relocation would be beneficial for me. You see, “in that moment” I could not see where... Read More >

APPOINTED March 24, 2011 There is absolutely no place or circumstance better than where you are currently when you’re in the center of God’s will. Whether God placed you where you are or allowed you to be where you are,... Read More >

GIANT OR GRASSHOPPER? March 23, 2011 If you want to be somebody, you first have to see yourself as somebody. Our worth and value comes from the Lord and not man, but how we see ourselves “in our own sight” either gives us giant... Read More >

CULTURE SHOCK March 22, 2011 I must admit that being so suddenly uprooted out of my old tier and placed into another tier was a bit of a “culture shock.” I had come to know the culture of my last living environment so well... Read More >

STRIFE, CHAOS, DISTRACTIONS March 21, 2011 My purpose in life is bigger than me, this new tier, this institution, and anything else in this world, because it is driven by Him-- who is not of this world. Therefore, nothing else should matter... Read More >

VISIT FROM RELATIVES March 20, 2011 There is so much going on inside and outside of these walls. I ended this long week with a beautiful visit from my mom’s oldest brother and oldest sister, (Uncle Jack and Aunt Dee). They filled me... Read More >

NEW JOURNEY March 19, 2011 In order not to miss what it is the Lord has for me on this journey, and particularly on my new tier, “the hood,” I must be selfish in to be self-less out. I must pay extra attention, listen more... Read More >

HE HOLDS THE FUTURE March 18, 2011 “My times are in Your hand” (Psalm 31:15) and if I am going to believe that verse to be true, then I would have to wholeheartedly trust that God has me on this tier for a reason….and I do. Even... Read More >

UNKNOWN TIMES March 17, 2011 I have been waiting for a huge outcome this morning regarding an unjust situation and I have no idea what to expect. Hoping for the best and expecting the best, and I have no comment til then. “My... Read More >

APPLES OF GOLD March 16, 2011 Monitor your thoughts; they become feelings. “For the Lord searches all hearts and understands all the intent of the thoughts” (I Chron. 28:9). Control your feelings; they become a... Read More >

NEW TIER, SAME ME March 15, 2011 Morning time on my new tier is not as active as my old tier. I was wide awake at 5:30 a.m. and excited to begin my day. My new bed is in the center of the tier, closer to the “hood,” as my... Read More >

SEEKING A RAINBOW? March 14, 2011 The storm doesn’t bother me anymore, ‘it is what it is.’ But I will never understand those who stand off to the side with their umbrellas, afraid to get wet, while judging you because of the... Read More >

FINDING GOD March 13, 2011 They say that “everyone finds God in jail” and that sounds good and all, but unfortunately nobody finds God, for He was never hiding. We may seek God and draw close to God, but He does the... Read More >

GRAMP'S NEW HOME March 12, 2011 I don’t even know where to start with my thoughts, but today was a beautiful day outside. I was persuaded to go outside to play soccer by some guys on my new tier. So needless to say, all of the... Read More >

DON'T UNDERSTAND March 12, 2011 I feel helpless for the first time in my incarceration, but not hopeless. My faith is still strong and I still firmly believe that God will work ALL things for the good to those who love Him and are... Read More >

GOD IS GOOD NO MATTER WHAT March 11, 2011 Not exactly sure what’s going on at this point, but turmoil abounds. I will in no way allow my surroundings to dictate my day and I know I must keep my routine and commitment regardless of my... Read More >

STOP AND LOOK--BE STILL AND KNOW March 10, 2011 Sometimes we don’t see because we are simply not looking. And sometimes God tests us so that our eyes will become open to what He has before us. We become so entrenched in the circumstances around... Read More >

OPPOSITION ABOUNDS March 9, 2011 What do you do when you are continually trying to do right, but met with opposition and resistance? Every time you are attempting to move forward, you feel like you are only going backwards. What... Read More >

IT'S THE CLIMB March 8, 2011 I believe I made it over the hump, but today marks the beginning of another climb. You see, growth and deliverance come with the struggle, and when you allow the good work to be accomplished within... Read More >

HEAVY HEART TODAY March 7, 2011 My heart aches today and there was a time that I had wished my heart had stopped……but God saw things differently. I will never be able to justify, explain, or rationalize my actions on this... Read More >

EARLY MORNING 3/7/09 March 6, 2011 As I sat there in shock and confusion, one word had turned my stomach upside down. “This is not happening,” and my mind could not properly register what I had just overheard. With that one word,... Read More >

THOUGHTS FROM 3/6/09 March 6, 2011 I left the apartment that night with no concrete plans and with the intention of returning 5-6 hours later. I headed less than 5 miles across the way to pick up a friend and then a bite to eat... Read More >

REFUSE TO COMPROMISE March 5, 2011 I’ve figured it out after a long accountability talk with Jayson. He shed some light on some things that I knew, but refused to address. But not no more, because I refuse to allow somebody else... Read More >

SOMETHING IS ABOUT TO GIVE March 5, 2011 This has been a weird week, very weird. I know what it is, but if I told you, you might think I’m crazy. So instead of telling you what the eyes of my heart see, I will share what the eyes in my... Read More >

INNER BATTLE March 4, 2011 To be in the midst of some of the most ignorant people I have ever encountered and to be stuck with them is tragically unbearable at times. When there is no respect, there is no agreement in... Read More >

JOB CHANGE March 3, 2011 I never got around to sharing this because as each day has come and went, I would have my mind on other things, but I have been institutionally retired from being a Teacher’s Assistant for about 3... Read More >

LAUGHING AT GOD March 2, 2011 Imagine laughing within yourself at something that God has promised you. To laugh and then have the Lord question, “Why would you laugh? How is what I promised you hard to believe? Is anything too... Read More >

DAY TO DAY TO DAY March 2, 2011 From day to day to day, what could you possibly want to hear me say? I write my mind to my heart to my thoughts, and every which other way. It must get old to redundant to boring cause for m... Read More >

MEASURING PAIN March 1, 2011 March 1st, 2011, and as I write that date I realize that the last game I played professionally was on this date 2 years ago. Two years ago?! You can’t tell me where the time is going and it still... Read More >

CLINGING TO FAITH February 28, 2011 My parents had a successful weekend blessing God and others, as they shared their testimony with a church congregation in Collingswood, NJ. The theme, “Clinging to faith in the midst of the storm,�... Read More >

RECALL TO RECOUNT February 27, 2011 Today is reflection day, as we take time together to look back, not to dwell on our past but to recycle some things we may have forgotten or taken for granted. They say, “You never really know what... Read More >

FROM PIECE TO PEACE February 26, 2011 Here is PIECE of prison mentality for you: it’s Saturday, which is late night in here. This means that the lights and TV stay on until midnight as opposed to 10:30 p.m. Mind you, the lights and... Read More >

CONTENTMENT February 25, 2011 I heard a story once about a woman who gravely found out she had at least a year to live. Unsure how to take this news and whether or not it were true, she decided to sincerely pray to God. In the... Read More >

BIBLE STUDY February 24, 2011 There are some individuals on the tier that despise the Bible Study, and some are even “proclaimed” believers. It amazes me to watch how the noise level quickly rises as soon as we begin and... Read More >

HABIT FORMING February 23, 2011 Routine and commitment without complacency are the difference between a stable mind or a staggering mind. My routine and commitment, even in an extremely mundane environment, have been consistent for... Read More >

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAYSON February 22, 2011 Today is Jayson’s birthday so today’s theme for him matches his stature. It is the one major characteristic that places him in a league of his own - - but at the same time “this” quality... Read More >

FAILURES, FAULTS, AND FLAWS February 21, 2011 For me, failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, but this time with Christ at the center. I have failed over and over again in my life, but none more tragic than the reason I am currently... Read More >

GRANDPOP'S ILL February 20, 2011 I spoke with my mother late last night to inquire about something trivial, only to be told something trying. But after the initial news, the conversation quickly turned to trusting and triumph. My... Read More >

WHAT'S DRIVING YOU? February 20, 2011 What’s Driving You? Everyone is driven by something, whether self, success, or strife; Forgive me for being so forward, but what is the driving force in your life? S... Read More >

FROM BEGINNING TO END February 19, 2011 I officially completed reading the entire Bible today, as my study of Revelations came to a close. Now that’s a tough book to understand, but the Word of God wasn’t given to us to struggle with,... Read More >

SET YOUR TONE February 18, 2011 I am convinced that no matter what may happen during my day, that my attitude is what sets the tone for a bitter day or a better day. My attitude is how people view me and ultimately define me, and... Read More >

EVEN SO February 17, 2011 The return to the prison yard was refreshing today. It was close to 65 degrees and the BIG YARD was packed. I only walked laps around the perimeter of the yard while listening to my AM/FM cheap... Read More >

STRAYING SHEEP February 16, 2011 The Bible study has grown to 22 out of 38 on the tier, but the beauty is that even those around who are not participating still hear what is being discussed, studied, and shared. Today we had 2... Read More >

BOREDOM EQUALS TROUBLE February 15, 2011 Boredom can be dominating…..actually boredom IS dominating in this environment and a majority of the time it is this idleness that breeds deceitfulness. But not only deceit, an idle mind affects... Read More >

WHAT IS LOVE February 14, 2011 It’s simple, today is Valentine’s Day so we are supposed to express our love, but a day’s “title” should not dictate our day’s love. Granted, today gives many the opportunity to show... Read More >

RAW AND REAL THOUGHTS February 13, 2011 Here are some raw and real thoughts for you in a raw and real environment, with no intention to be crude or rude, but as they are read and hit your mind “uncooked” (fresh) - - take the time to �... Read More >

TO THE FAMILY OF HORT KAP February 11, 2011 To the family and loved ones of Hort Kap: I pray wholeheartedly that this letter finds all of you at peace and in the grace of God and with the understanding that not one day goes by that I... Read More >

THANKS FOR THE ENCOURAGEMENT February 13, 2011 I decided to not have any visits this weekend because I wanted to take the whole weekend to write back lots of letters. I actually just completed 7 lengthy letters and I still have tons more to go,... Read More >

MISPLACED CONFIDENCE February 12, 2011 Confidence is such a strong attribute to possess, but if misplaced, it will only let you down….and sometimes very hard. I would consider myself a very confident person, but I have also had my... Read More >

DEFENSE February 11, 2011 My Pastor from home blessed me with a visit today and I was able to sit with him for an hour and half in fellowship. It is certainly a joy to have a 1-on-1 visit without any noise and distractions,... Read More >

PUSHED TO THE LIMIT February 10, 2011 This place can push you to your absolute limits mentally, and then before you know it, you are beyond the boundary of your character physically. I showed the “old Matt” tonight in the gym and I... Read More >

JUST A PIECE February 9, 2011 Friends, do you want an abundance of peace in mind and living? If so, here’s a small piece of mine from prison: I can only offer just a small piece apart from the whole, While G... Read More >

GOING THROUGH IT February 8, 2011 A day does not pass in prison where you don’t hear “so-and-so is going through it.” Going “through” is never expounded upon, but it is understood that by “going through it,” you are in... Read More >

ATTAINING PURITY February 7, 2011 Human behavior is so telling, especially in this environment where time tells all. I am just fascinated with why people do certain things and how they respond to various situations throughout the day... Read More >

TOTALLY ABNORMAL February 6, 2011 I had a visit this afternoon with my brother Mike and his girlfriend which went very well. All good news on their end, and zero complaints on my end. To be honest, a visit for me (personally) brings... Read More >

PRISON'S REVOLVING DOOR February 5, 2011 Here is a piece of prison mentality for you: Talking to an inmate, we shall call “Wips,” for the past 6-8 months about what he was gonna do when he is released and how he finally was going to... Read More >

WHAT DAY IS IT? February 4, 2011 I woke up this morning and I honestly thought it was Saturday. It wasn’t until 9am, and I was up at 5:30 am, that I realized it was actually Friday because they did not call any visit outs which... Read More >

WHEN THE FLOOD COMES February 3, 2011 Other inmates often ask me “Why am I studying the Bible,” or “What am I preparing for?” Many equate reading and knowing the Bible as only being related to pastor-ship and my usual answer is... Read More >

MIND NUMBNESS February 2, 2011 Today has just been a weird day and I can’t put my finger on it. I feel as if my mind has been somewhere else all day, and I was even out of it in the gym. It’s not stress or worry, but more of... Read More >

ENJOY THE SITES February 1, 2011 I just realized that after this week’s study of I, II, and III John, that I only have Jude and Revelations left in my “Journey Through the Bible in a Year.” It seems like yesterday that I was... Read More >

NO CONTROL January 31, 2011 Just got back from the gym and it is even freezing cold down there. Like outside rec, once you are locked in the gym, you must stay down there for the entire 2 hours, so you better keep moving the... Read More >

FAST FOOD January 30, 2011 Food, oh how over-rated it is! I mean the first 5 minutes were fulfilling, but quickly left lacking. The build-up and anticipation was not all it was cracked up to be, and I am grateful to have... Read More >

UPS AND DOWNS/ IN AND OUTS January 29, 2011 Today is the 21st and final day of my fast and I am thankful and grateful to have this new understanding about the “ups and downs” and the “ins and outs” of life. Thanks to a fellow inmates... Read More >

BRAGGING RIGHTS January 28, 2011 I am actually going down to the gym in 30 minutes to have a unit 2 East basketball game, 5v5 full court. Jay has his team and I have mine. We matched the teams up fairly even, (except for whoever is... Read More >

HOW DO YOU WAKE UP? January 27, 2011 I’ve never appreciated the morning as much as I do now……and in prison. To wake up day in and day out amongst turmoil and hostility and still be at peace speaks volumes into the grace and love... Read More >

REALITY CHECK! January 26, 2011 Eighteen of 21 days down in the fast, and today is also my father’s birthday, so there would be no better day than today to reflect and REALITY CHECK! To remember how far I’ve come, and not how... Read More >

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAD! January 26, 2011 Dear Father, This letter comes with more appreciation and love than any amount of words could ever express. I am beyond thankful to God for this day, your birthday, and I would like to t... Read More >

GOD'S TIMING January 25, 2011 01/25/2011 GOD’S TIMING Just because we know God and He wants to know us, doesn’t guarantee that we will not encounter hardships. I could imagine if that were the case that Jesus�... Read More >

THE EMPTY TOMB January 24, 2011 Things are done in life to open our hearts, not close them. We are faced with so many trying circumstances that ALWAYS offer us a choice; whether or not we choose to be open to what God has for us,... Read More >

YOU ARE WHAT YOU THINK January 23, 2011 I’m 2/3’s of the way through the 21-day fast, and though I am losing weight, I am gaining understanding. I’ve learned that if the mind can conceive it, then the body can achieve it, while the... Read More >

LIGHTS OUT! January 22, 2011 Lights Out! And its hard to see what I’m writing, but I need to finish what I started about 2 hours ago. A few distractions here and there and now the lights are out and my thoughts are incomplete... Read More >

THOUGHTS FROM D'MEAR, The Grandson of Hort Kap January 20, 2011 I remember when Grandpa always take me to the store with him. I remember that Grandpa always protect me every time I get in trouble by Grandma and my Mom. I remember when Grandpa always buy me toys... Read More >

SHUT IN January 21, 2011 I just realized that I haven’t been outside in about 5 months. Mainly because I cannot stand the cold weather, and if you go outside for morning BIG YARD rec, then you have to stay out there for... Read More >

MBS TRAINING January 20, 2011 My brother’s Anthony and Michael would appreciate that we have started our very own “MBS Training” here in prison; although the MBS no longer stands for “Maher Brother’s Soccer” Training,... Read More >

SLOWED ME DOWN January 19, 2011 On this 11th day of the 21-day fast, I realize that not only am I still “fasting forward” by faith, but I am also “being still” with rest and relaxation. It is so easy to become uncomfortable... Read More >

WHO DID WRONG? January 18, 2011 And now the ultimate life question: Why do we face trials, troubles, and tribulations? Things that happen to us in life are sometimes too hard of a pill to swallow and it is in these... Read More >

HUMILITY, INTEGRITY, SPIRITUALITY January 17, 2011 For we are HIS: in Humility, Integrity, and Spirituality, where the attitude of our hearts becomes the definition of our character. When we adjust the attitude of our hearts, then it doesn’t matter... Read More >

TEMPORARY HIGH January 16, 2011 Here’s a PIECE of prison mentality when it comes to food and fulfillment that I observed. Since I have been fasting now 7 days with only water and orange juice as my “food source,” I am more... Read More >

THE POWER OF SUGGESTION January 15, 2011 Sometimes things or ideas are set before our minds for consideration. It’s what we do with those suggestions that separates the potential good or evil that will result. When we allow those thoughts... Read More >

ANYONE WANT SOME FOOD? January 14, 2011 It’s a new day and a new concentration level. It’s still ridiculously cold on the tier, but that is out of my control. It’s the 6th day of my fast and I have settled into only consuming water... Read More >

FREEZING COLD January 13, 2011 It is absolutely freezing on the tier, so much so, that I’m wearing long-johns with sweat-pants, a t-shirt with a sweater, a jacket, and all of that topped off with a woolie (skull-cap)-- and I’m... Read More >

RULED BY MY STOMACH January 12, 2011 This is the 4th day of the 21-day fast and let me tell you how true Matthew 26:41 is, “For the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” I am more concentrated because my mind is fully... Read More >

FREE THINKING January 11, 2011 Let’s see what comes out of this brain and heart of mine today. With no intention to have any direction or heavily thought out blog, I’m just writing free-style as the words come to me. ... Read More >

BEING THE WORD January 10, 2011 I can read this Bible here til I’m blue in the face and I can write about its truths in these blogs on a daily basis, but if I’m not being the Word and its truths, it’s all for nothing. Just... Read More >

HUNGRY January 9, 2011 I started my first 21-day fast today and I’m excited. After just one day, I’m already feeling the hunger pangs because the Lord knows I’m ruled by my stomach, but I am determined and focused to... Read More >

FRESHMAN YEAR January 8, 2011 Today I started my “Sophmore” year (2nd) in prison, and boy did I learn a lot in my freshman year (1st). Ok, “Mr Dean of Students,” (aka Warden), I think there are some days when I think I�... Read More >

SET FREE BY A HUG January 7, 2011 When I recall this day one year ago, emotions flood to the surface. On this day last year, I was not only granted a 5 ½ year term of imprisonment, but I was also blessed with a release date. One... Read More >

TIME IN THE WILDERNESS January 6, 2011 All that happens in the wilderness of life is done for our own good. In a place of unfamiliar territory, we tend to clam up and shut off, missing the reason for the wilderness. The wilderness is... Read More >

HOW DO YOU... January 5, 2011 How do you suppose one can have joy and peace in prison when it has nothing to do with a release date; in fact, the release date is not what you may think it is (Jan. 7, 2010). How can one... Read More >

SPIRITUAL INSURANCE January 4, 2011 Where’s my head at today? I’m tired, but I’m focused. I’ve been working steadily for the past 11 months, but even more concentrated on something specific for the past 2 months. It’s been a... Read More >

PRISON REALITY January 3, 2011 These thoughts were stirring inside of me all last night, so I felt compelled to share them today. While they may be one day late—they are better late than never. I know I only wrote one sentence... Read More >

VISITING DAY January 2, 2011 I had a beautiful visit today with my parents and it was the first time I saw them in about 6 weeks. It was refreshing to say the least….and informational. Those hour-and-a-half visits fly by and... Read More >

BRINGING ON THE NEW YEAR LIKE A TRAPEZE ARTIST January 1, 2011 Happy New Year! My first New Year’s in prison, which just so happens to be close to my first one year mark in prison. It is a beautiful time to be thankful and realize how far God has taken me in... Read More >

NEW YEAR'S EVE December 31, 2010 The last day before the ’10 turns to an ’11. Another year down, though incarcerated, it’s nothing but a number. I am thankful and blessed to have been brought “thus far” by the grace of... Read More >

GOD'S TIME December 30, 2010 I live by faith knowing that man’s set back can be God’s set up. No man sets the time, for God knows His plan and He sets the time according to His purposes. Friends, do not get discouraged or... Read More >

WHAT'S IN A NUMBER? December 29, 2010 We can’t mess God’s timing up for He is a God who “controls the number of our days” (Exodus 23:26). There is no set of numbers that He does not know. He is not held to a set of time and... Read More >

THANK YOU ALL December 28, 2010 My days are full, from 6am to 11pm every day, and if I’m not working-out in the gym, I’m reading or writing and most of the time doing both. Still no complaints and the mail has been abundant and... Read More >

MORE ON PARALYSIS CONTINUED December 27, 2010 From paralysis to the promise, with one statement/question, we should find the peace in pain. In one agonizing prayer, not out of defeat, but victory, we should find the purpose in pain…from our... Read More >

DO NOT LOSE HEART December 26, 2010 Things may not add up right now, but do not lose heart. Sometimes the events of life aren’t exactly what we intended or prayed for, and it is in that misunderstanding that we lose faith. Sometimes... Read More >

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS! December 25, 2010 A Christmas in prison is not about the day’s events, for the day’s schedule is not interrupted by any holiday or tradition. A Christmas in prison has nothing to do with decorations; because the... Read More >

CHRISTMAS EVE December 24, 2010 Christmas Eve in prison! Everything is better with Jesus. This is not the time to get discouraged, even when my family is gathering without me. This is a time to recognize how far this year has... Read More >

POPULAR OPINION December 23, 2010 Am I to write what people want to hear? Or do I just write what I think and feel? I choose feelings and conviction over popular opinion and the strongly accepted idea of ... Read More >

WHAT'S IN A NAME? December 22, 2010 Imagine a name so powerful, so controversial, so appealing, that the simple utterance of it evokes attention—sometimes reverential, other times animosity. A name is that which identifies a person. ... Read More >

FOLLOW THAT STAR December 21, 2010 “A wise man will hear and increase learning, and a man of understanding will attain wise counsel” (Proverbs 1:5). Learning and wisdom are never-ending; there is always more to obtain, t... Read More >

BROKEN BEYOND REMEDY December 20, 2010 I have been shattered by my own doing, but God has caught each and every broken piece in His outstretched hand, leaving not one piece missing or broken beyond repair. And any attempt by me to place... Read More >

CHANGING COURSE December 19, 2010 What an unbelievable God we serve! He works in ways we will never understand, and even though we can’t see Him at work, we can see “His work” work. I am humbled to have witnessed what... Read More >

DEPOSITION December 18, 2010 I was hand-served a deposition subpoena this morning to make sure I am available to attend a January 2011 deposition. I find this funny for several reasons and the first being, I’m not going... Read More >

BE ABOUT IT! December 17, 2010 TO BE OR NOT TO BE ... Read More >

ONLY TAKES A SECOND December 16, 2010 I have no mental thoughts right now. Right now I just have no mental thoughts. When you’re misinterpreted, it’s frustrating. You can try to do right 100% of the time and a .0001% fall, cancels... Read More >

CELEBRATING JOHN December 15, 2010 My Beloved Brother, Today is a day that I remember you more than most; not out of sorrow or sadness but with joy and gladness. Today, 5 years ago, we received news of earthly disappointmen... Read More >

A LETTER TO MY NIECE December 15, 2010 To my Beautiful Niece, You, my dear, are an angel and I love you as if you were my very own daughter. As I write this letter to you, you are 5-years-old, and the content you may not unders... Read More >

TIME FOR REFLECTION December 14, 2010 I am humbled to be on the journey called confinement. It is not somewhere I would have seen myself, not in a million years, but we only see the worldly perspective. I will forever be remorseful for... Read More >

WHAT'S THE CORRECT ANSWER? December 13, 2010 You want peace of mind and living, here’s a piece of mine from prison: Today I’m not going to bore you with my crazy thoughts or stories. There will be no prison observations or parabl... Read More >

HOPE FOR THE HOPELESS December 12, 2010 I’ve come to understand my purpose through pain and failure and through it all, I have found hope. Hope is best represented through overcoming and experience; and pain is best learned when it comes... Read More >

CHANGE FROM WITHIN December 11, 2010 I am closing in on one year incarcerated. Trust me, one month imprisoned is enough for an unpremeditated, repented, remorseful man to understand that he did wrong, trust me on that! I am not saying... Read More >

OUT YOUR NOSTRILS December 10, 2010 I can’t believe I never caught this before, but I guess that comes with not taking the word seriously. It’s almost so outrageous that I was surprised it said what it said. I’m not even sure... Read More >

VETERAN OR ROOKIE December 9, 2010 Complaining, disputing, blaming, and harming--ALL within an arm’s reach at any point, place, or time in prison. More so in here than in the “free world” because of the self-esteems, egos, and... Read More >

MERRY CHRISTMAS December 8, 2010 To be completely honest, it doesn’t feel like Christmas in here. I’m not sure if that is a good thing collectively for inmates, but for me personally, I am just thankful that God can be the... Read More >

BEST GIFT EVER December 7, 2010 Such a beautiful time of the year because Christmas is the season that provides an opportunity for heartfelt giving and God loves a cheerful giver (II Cor.9:7). ... Read More >

MONDAY MORNING MESS December 6, 2010 Here is a PIECE of prison mentality for you: Traffic into the mess hall for breakfast on Mondays is extra heavy. Can you guess why? The rotation of inmate movement is even slowed down to ... Read More >

WHAT'S A BLOG, ANYWAY? December 5, 2010 To View "MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM THE MAHER FAMILY", a brief note,video and pictures, click here. What the heck are blogs anyway? I mean I know what they are because I'm now considered a blogge... Read More >

IT EITHER IS OR IT ISN'T December 4, 2010 IT EITHER “IS” or it “ISN’T” By Matthew Maher Two men were in prison, and both in a cell But one saw Heaven, and the other saw Hell. The surroundings the same, the perspe... Read More >

LOGIC IGNORANCE December 3, 2010 My problem solving program prompted these thoughts, and though I could write a book about how bizarre that class is, I am gonna refrain. So, to set the stage, we were discussing experience and it was... Read More >

TRUE OBEDIENCE December 2, 2010 How far are we willing to take obedience? When we are under the control or authority of others, we are to take heed to their directions and instructions. Nothing forced, but that which is similar to... Read More >

LET THIS MIND December 1, 2010 The right thoughts produce the right feelings, which produce the right actions, and actions, as we know, speak louder than words. Most of my day, from 6 am to 11 pm, I try purposely to control my... Read More >

PUT IN THE GRINDER November 30, 2010 November came and went. These past few months flew by, but not so fast, because I don’t want to miss this time in the grinder nor the opportunity that comes from constantly being around sand paper... Read More >

SMOKE, CRAP, AND CHARCOAL November 29, 2010 Keeping it moving and keeping it simple in an environment where you have to constantly watch your company, conversation, and candor in order to not compromise; constantly character checking and... Read More >

THE FROG AND THE SCORPION November 28, 2010 I know I just wrote about the Christian nature versus the evil nature with the rattle-snake and Jesus’ story, but I have an addition to this rule. We should not forego our loving, compassionate,... Read More >

"WORK ON!" November 27, 2010 WORK ON ... Read More >

THE WILL OF THE LORD November 26, 2010 Even as Christians working to advance the kingdom, we shall sometimes get in the way of God’s will. Not knowingly most of the time and not done to halt progress, but our human concern for what... Read More >

GAME UP November 25, 2010 “GAME UP,” it’s time to game up. We are always putting off what we already know we should be doing. It’s built into us to want to accomplish, progress, and make a difference with purpose. ... Read More >

WHAT TO DO WITH A RATTLESNAKE November 24, 2010 I’ve been trying to figure out if some people are beyond help. I know that God can do anything or change anyone but are some people naturally evil? Naturally wicked? I’m basing my curiousness... Read More >

NEVER TOO LATE November 23, 2010 It’s never too late to change, but you have to want to change. Some people become discouraged because though they are trying to change, they do not see gradual differences from where they once were... Read More >

HOLIDAY BLUES November 22, 2010 I see a lot of behavior change during this time of year. It’s inevitable because of the holidays and the feelings that come with missing family and friends and it certainly is a somber sight to see... Read More >

ONE LAST TIME November 21, 2010 I remember approaching the holidays this time last year and my mentality now is completely different. From thinking I only had a little freedom left before an inevitable prison sentence, to... Read More >

PETER PART 3 November 20, 2010 Continuing on from 11/17 and 11/18 with the excerpt from Peter about the character Mary: “Eyes are only on this filthy, broken sinner. She takes the blame, the responsibility of all that happened,... Read More >

MADE THE PRESS November 19, 2010 You try to tell me that evil isn’t at work when you are motivated to advance Christ’s kingdom and I will have to challenge that thinking based on experience. How perfect a time as this, seeing... Read More >

THE BOOK "PETER" CONTINUED November 18, 2010 Continued from 11/17 “Indeed Satan has asked for you, that he may sift you as wheat.” I believe I wrote about this before, but it is a very scary truth. To know that evil wants to sift... Read More >

THE BOOK "PETER" November 17, 2010 I want to share this story from a book sent by the author, who would like to remain anonymous, but who has been an extreme encouragement to me and our correspondence has been a blessing from above. I... Read More >

THERE ONCE WAS A MAN November 16, 2010 We tend to have this pre-conceived idea that our future depends on the favorable events in our lives. It is widely believed that our fate is determined by better circumstances, but I beg to differ. ... Read More >

CHAOZ November 15, 2010 My old nature would have handled so many incidents differently in here. This environment seems to breed constant and unnecessary distress where every situation is exaggerated and magnified. I swear,... Read More >

HOW'S YOUR WALK? November 14, 2010 The way a man walks tells a lot about the man. You will see some of the craziest unique swaggers here in prison, where some bounce with such rhythm and beat and others trek with stiffness and... Read More >

THRESHOLD November 13, 2010 Ok, I’m back. I may be exhausted, but I’m back. And there’s something about hitting a threshold that keeps us from progressing. My father would call this “threshold” our comfort zone. He... Read More >

WAIT November 12, 2010 Life can change in an instant and I believe everybody knows this to some degree or another. Especially in this controlled chaotic environment, where even a healthy routine can be abruptly interrupted... Read More >

MENTAL TRIGGERS November 11, 2010 Today is Veteran’s day so everyone is off including the civilians that work in the prison. These are slow days in here, but quiet. And quiet is hard to come by in this environment, so I have... Read More >

JAYSON'S DADDY November 10, 2010 All is well, all is well and it’s 8:45 a.m. The tier is quiet because many went outside for rec, but its way too cold for my blood. Many still sleep, and some are at work throughout the prison. ... Read More >

HAPPY THANKSGIVING! November 10, 2010 My first Thanksgiving in prison and I am thankful to be living for Christ with purpose. This may be a hard time for prisoners because of the fact that the holiday season is usually based around... Read More >

TAKE YOUR TIME? November 9, 2010 So much time: Time to write, time to read, time to think, so much time... We have so much time that I can sleep the whole day away, but then I will just have more time to make up for a misused day,... Read More >

THE LORD TURNS THE HEART ANY WAY HE WISHES November 8, 2010 Still no concrete word on the folly from a few days ago. A lot of speculations and rumors, but I’m staying out of it for several reasons. But ultimately I know that whatever happens and whatever... Read More >

TRUE HUNGER November 7, 2010 This week went by fast in spite of fasting the entire week. I have one day left to go. I decided to do this 7 day fast after reading Jentezen Franklin’s book Fasting It was very insightful and... Read More >

UNEXPECTED TWISTS AND TURNS November 6, 2010 The twists and turns and uncertainty of this place show how things can change on a dime. Details of bad situations can get extremely complicated and presently appear to be spinning out of control,... Read More >

WHAT'S YOUR ANGLE? November 5, 2010 Everybody has an angle in life, but it just depends how sharp they are. In prison, it’s very rare for someone to do something out of the goodness of their heart; and whether sharp or smooth,... Read More >

THINGS ARE NOT WHAT THEY SEEM November 4, 2010 Things aren’t what they seem in here and I have heard some of the most shocking contradictions from people who I thought I knew. There is a saying in prison that goes: “Everybody is somebody in... Read More >

NO COMPROMISE November 3, 2010 I cannot compromise or expose myself to danger or difficulty by carelessness. This attitude must be a lifestyle and not just a behavior forced out through confinement. I am well aware that I am not... Read More >

BAD COMPANY CORRUPTS November 2, 2010 I can’t forget where I’m at! Trust me, it’s very easy to accept the behaviors and tendencies of deceit as normal because you are constantly around it. I can’t forget that no matter how many... Read More >

REMORSE, REPENT, REPEAT November 1, 2010 I try to write truths and lessons learned from this environment that can be related to in any environment, but specifically when I am writing about prison. The circumstances here are magnified... Read More >

THE OLD VERSUS THE NEW October 31, 2010 I just realized that today is Halloween, so now I find it even more fitting to speak about the old and the new, knowing that our past shouldn’t stop us from striving to be “hallow” like Christ,... Read More >

SLOW IS THE NEW FAST October 30, 2010 I think we have been tricked again. In a world where it is assumed that faster is better, and even with the age-old analogy that the slow and steady turtle wins the race, we still strive to be the... Read More >

LIGHT FROM DARKNESS October 29, 2010 Darkness is something that we must accept and not question because it has been around from the beginning and was in fact “on the face of the deep” in the beginning (Genesis 1:2). Darkness indeed... Read More >

ONE DAY AT A TIME October 28, 2010 What makes my circumstances any different from my family/friends on the street? I would say only the obvious and that’s the restriction and confinement I am under, but life is life, whether... Read More >

GIVE ME BACK MY BOOK October 27, 2010 Man! This place is such a trip and I’ve said it before, but I will say it again: It’s only 8:30 a.m. and already a valuable life lesson. God’s timing is perfect. Anyway here is a piece of... Read More >

PRISON MINISTRY October 26, 2010 Male leadership was last night and Pastor Victor Hudson was exceptional as usual. He presents God’s truths and promises in such an easy way to understand and contemplate that you cannot help but to... Read More >

HIS GLORY OR ANOTHER STORY October 25, 2010 Writing everyday from prison has been a way for me to express my thoughts and feelings, as I go through this imprisonment. It was recommended by a good friend prior to my incarceration, and I was not... Read More >

STORM STILLER October 24, 2010 On the phone last night, my brother Anthony asked me a question that many are scared to ask, yet many insist on answering for me based on what the world thinks. Whether directly or indirectly, when... Read More >

PASTOR VIC'S TEACHING October 23, 2010 Life never made more sense than it does now in confinement. Physical freedom was a curse for me because of the way I was using it. And now incarcerated, I wouldn’t trade anything for my spiritual... Read More >

PASTOR SOARIES October 22, 2010 I witnessed something amazing last night here in prison, which speaks volumes of how important influence can be in any misguided environment. Last night was game 5 of the National League Championship... Read More >

STRONG FOUNDATION October 21, 2010 Psalm 104:5/Luke 6:48/I Corinthians 3:10/II Timothy 2:19 Foundation; establishing, supporting part or structure. A fundamental principle or underlying concept I have always ... Read More >

AM I PROGRESSING? October 20, 2010 I Timothy 4:15 - Meditate in these things; give yourself entirely to them, that your progress may be evident to all. ... Read More >

DON'T MISS IT October 19, 2010 How many times was I at the cross-roads of a blessing only to lose it because of my failure to recognize from whence it came? I believe that sometimes we are at the beginning of something special... Read More >

EXCUSES October 18, 2010 Too many excuses in life and I am guilty as charged with this reverse reasoning to justify my actions as well. Some things are excused, but many times an excuse is used as a way to free ourselves... Read More >

KEEP IT SIMPLE October 17, 2010 I’ve figured it out, life is simple and we complicate it. We allow the things that we cannot control to control us. We go from A to Z while ignoring the destruction that began at B. We busy... Read More >

FORWARD THINKING October 16, 2010 There are so many prison barriers for an inmate to move forward with their life. I have noticed that not only is there a fear of facing the future upon release, but an even more debilitating barrier... Read More >

LOVE THE SORROW October 15, 2010 Redeem: to recover ownership of by paying a specified sum to pay off; to set free; rescue, ransom to save from a state of sinfulness. Jesus. Psalm 34:19 Sorrow: pain/sorrow; distress, e... Read More >

A TIME TO LEARN October 14, 2010 Being locked up “is what it is” and it will be what you make it. I have seen so many different methods to handling this situation and most involve doing worthless activities just to make it... Read More >

THE DEVIL'S GAME October 13, 2010 I thought it was just me and that I was going crazy until Jay confirmed my thoughts from yesterday. This scenario has happened so often that I began to believe it was being done on purpose and that I... Read More >

BOILING POINTS October 12, 2010 This place never ceases to amaze me, and today could not have been scripted. It’s very late now and lights are off, but this is the only chance I have gotten to write my thoughts. I swear I was... Read More >

THANK YOU ALL October 11, 2010 I honestly don’t need anything in here and if I told you I did, that would be a lie. The support, encouragement, and prayers have been more than enough to see me through, but Christ’s love, peace... Read More >

CHAMELEONS October 10, 2010 You can fake a lot of things in life and you can be a lot of things in prison, but you can’t fool God. On the streets, you can mislead those around you because you may only be around friends/family... Read More >

BATTLE WITH SELF October 9, 2010 “Self” and sin won over today for a moment in time. Father forgive me because my soul is in anguish when I fall. And it only takes a moment. I can’t let my spiritual guard down for a second... Read More >

IGNORE THE ELEMENTS October 8, 2010 It was beautiful outside today and apparently it’s gonna be like this for the next few days. You can always appreciate a warm fall day, even in prison. It’s easy to “zone out” in a good way,... Read More >

5511 INSPIRED October 7, 2010 A lot of purpose today and God was at the center. His loving-kindness is new every morning. Jay and my routine is still going strong and I have been arising a little earlier than usual for quiet... Read More >

JUST ASK? October 6, 2010 I am guilty of this lesson myself, but in a different way. My prison observation provoked this message and I am thankful to see things like parables of the Bible these days. Anyway, you know it’s... Read More >

STEPPING STONE OR STUMBLING BLOCK? October 5, 2010 Regardless of my relationship with various inmates, I am always delighted when I hear they are going home soon. Most inmates do not want to entertain that thought or hear that conversation,... Read More >

ODD TEXT MESSAGE October 4, 2010 Where is the time going? It’s already October, 2010, and I can vividly see myself in my bed on March 7th, 2009 at my parent’s house, confused and in shock over the event and tragedy that occurred... Read More >

SACRED TABLE October 3, 2010 Jay and I sit at this table almost every waking hour that we are on our tier. We do pretty much everything at this table from eating and relaxing, to studying and working. The conversations that go... Read More >

QUIET TIME October 2, 2010 Today’s Streams in the Desert really convicted me in a different way. It was a very short paragraph, but it stressed the importance of having quiet time with God. Now the only quiet time on the... Read More >

DOUBTING THOMAS October 1, 2010 The scars I have encountered in prison are some of the most telling that I have ever seen in my life. I am not talking about the emotional and mental scars from our pasts, which go unseen, but,... Read More >

IDLE TIME September 30, 2010 It was storming all day and apparently a tornado was supposed to touch down in the area. I don’t know if it did though because I heard that information earlier on the radio. I also heard what a... Read More >

SELF RULES September 29, 2010 Only God can save us from ourselves. Every single day, I see or hear of someone who has done something to affect their time here in prison. Two individuals, one who I talk with often in the yard... Read More >

HONING A HABIT September 28, 2010 Subconsciously these days, I find myself doing things naturally that I never did on the outside. This is because of numerous reasons, but mostly because of the fact that a day’s routine and... Read More >

THE BEAUTY OF RAIN September 27, 2010 It’s raining today after several beautiful late September days. Sometimes the weather doesn’t mean a thing for a prisoner because the day’s activities can go on completely unaffected by the... Read More >

DON'T LET THE WORLD DICTATE September 26, 2010 I’m not sure, but I think people have me confused with their own personal experience or what the world is saying. Apparently it is unrealistic that my thoughts and perspective could be “that... Read More >

THY WILL BE DONE September 25, 2010 I finished the Gospel of John this morning and was mentally stuck on a verse, which then led me to even more verses and finally ended at Luke 22:31, “And the Lord said, “Simon, Simon! Indeed,... Read More >

PERFECT PEACE September 24, 2010 I’m content and I’m right where I need to be. I honestly cannot complain about a single thing since I have been incarcerated and I am thankful daily for God’s abundant grace, peace, mercy, and... Read More >

A MESSAGE TO MY FRIENDS September 23, 2010 So, a few months ago, I decided to randomly send a poem to my closest guy friends just to let them know I was thinking of them. The poem is titled AROUND THE CORNER and its content speaks of how life... Read More >

GOT FEAR? September 22, 2010 "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction" (Proverbs 1:7). Fear of anything can have a distressing and anguishing affect on our lives when we allow... Read More >

LIGHT OR DARKNESS September 21, 2010 They say that the eyes are the windows to the soul. I believe that statement to be true, especially in my current environment where the eyes are so telling. I think the misconception about prison is... Read More >

TOIL IS NOT IN VAIN September 20, 2010 I woke up at 4 a.m. this morning wide awake and feeling rejuvenated. Yesterday was a rough day and I was in bed by 9 p.m. Since I was up so early I was able to catch up on the readings I had missed... Read More >

BLESSED TO BE IN PRISON September 19, 2010 I woke up today feeling terrible. My head and chest were pounding and I was completely congested, so I decided to stay in from rec and try to rest. There has been a “bug” going around and I... Read More >

AN ENCOURAGING VISITOR September 18, 2010 God understands! You wanna know how I know He understands….because today I received a visit from someone on the complete other side of the spectrum. This “Someone,” is a father, who lost his... Read More >

CLOSED DOORS September 17, 2010 One thing about prison is that when they lock us in, we are locked in, and there is nothing we can do about it. I hear our tier-block gate slam shut and every time it closes, I’m still not used to... Read More >

MENTALLY PRODUCTIVE September 16, 2010 Just one of those slow days in prison, Thursday, and it’s also Jay and mines fast day. The weather is changing so there is a lot of sniffling, coughing, congestion, etc., on the tier. I go from... Read More >

MR. KNOW IT ALL September 15, 2010 It seems those who know-- don’t talk and, conversely, those who talk -- don’t know. I’m talking about those who really, really talk a lot. They come off like “they know it all!” I have... Read More >

GOT WHAT I DESERVED September 14, 2010 I cannot complain about a single thing in prison. The noise? Nope. The environment? Nope. The ignorance? Nope. How about the way the guards treat me? No, not even that. I wrote recently about... Read More >

WHAT'S IN A NAME? September 13, 2010 You know you’re doing something right when you’re not afraid to put your name on it. You only get one name and it’s something that we all take pride in. When something is being done for the... Read More >

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BROTHER September 12, 2010 Dear John, ... Read More >

MESSAGE FROM THE PAST September 11, 2010 It’s crazy to re-read something after awhile, especially when it’s something you wrote and forgot you wrote. Seeing that it’s my brother John’s birthday tomorrow, my mother sent me something... Read More >

THE PRISONER'S PRAYER September 10, 2010 After my brother passed away in December, 2005, my family found some of John’s journal writings and several poems. We all knew him so well, but his writings and poems shed some light on his inner... Read More >

MY BROTHER JOHN September 9, 2010 Jay and I were up at 5am sharp this morning and after my prayers, my first thoughts were of my brother John’s life. It’s amazing how clear your mind is in the morning, especially when you’re at... Read More >

YOUR JOB IS A SELF PORTRAIT September 8, 2010 I’m thinking about putting in for a job change here in prison. This morning may have been the straw that broke the camel’s back. I would be sacrificing a good job as a teacher’s assistant to... Read More >

EXCELLENT September 7, 2010 I started off this morning with a valuable life lesson and it happened in morning rec. You see, after reading so many books about staying positive, I took one of the main themes on attitude, and... Read More >

LABOR DAY September 6, 2010 Today is Labor Day, the first Monday in September, which also marks the end of summer for many. It’s back to school for student and back to the fall grind for most, but not for a prisoner. It’s... Read More >

MY MOTHER'S PRAYERS September 5, 2010 No matter what your level of faith is, people in prison are always asking for prayer. It’s a common request due to parole eligibility timelines and difficulties associated with prison. Now a days,... Read More >

WANTED: A LITTLE BIT OF RESPECT September 4, 2010 On the tier, there are two areas that always cause problems: the TV area ( 1 TV for 38 men), and the bathroom. I really haven’t watched TV in 8 months, except for the World Cup. I rarely go into... Read More >

LISTENING EAR September 3, 2010 It’s been a long day, but I got a lot done. I worked in the morning and afternoon, but was able to complete several letters during the down time. This is probably the fifth time that I tried to... Read More >

HOMETOWN HATE September 2, 2010 I don't find it hard to write my thoughts or beliefs because they come with such conviction, but I’ve learned that it’s hard for people to believe what you say and easier for them to believe how... Read More >

PRISON DOUBTS September 1, 2010 Many times in life, we are faced with circumstances that cause us to doubt. Doubting means that we are divided in our mind. We worry about our future, our jobs, trials, relationships, or what have you... Read More >

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOTHER OF MINE August 31, 2010 Matthew mailed the following entry and a special gift to his mom for her birthday this week. Shortly after Matt's oldest brother John passed away in 2005, our family discovered John's personal journal... Read More >

GOT SUBSTANCE? August 30, 2010 It’s the last day of August, and I feel as if I just wrote 8/1 as my journal date. I guess time really does fly when you’re giving it your all. The source of my enjoyment is my substance. That�... Read More >

CONNECTING THE DOTS August 29, 2010 Having a routine based on God and His purposes brings stability to my incarceration. When I keep my mind busy and productive, I realize my days fit together like a jigsaw puzzle. In an environment... Read More >

FULFILLED EVERYDAY August 28, 2010 John 15:11 Psalm 107:9 Psalm 90:14 Jay is finally back after being in New York’s “Riker’s Island” for the past 11 days sorting out his legal trouble. The result was all ov... Read More >

EMOTIONAL DAMAGE August 27, 2010 I observe numerous inmates who just sit in their area staring aimlessly into thin air. When others see this behavior, they usually say, “Come back to us, everything is gonna be alright.” It’s an... Read More >

LIVING INSPIRED August 26, 2010 I received a very ‘inspiring’ gift the other day, via mail, in the form of two books. One is titled “Live Inspired” and the other is called “Welcome the Rain” both by Michelle Sedas (www... Read More >

TWO STEPS FORWARD, THREE STEPS BACK August 25, 2010 Two steps forward and three steps back. Unfortunately, when you start off your day stepping backwards, it’s hard to make a forward progress. I learned a very valuable lesson today about how I should... Read More >

ADAPTABLE JACK August 24, 2010 A lot of change in my tier the past two months. Today alone there were three inmate movements opening up 3 beds. It’s like a lottery on who fills the beds.  You hope for the best, but prepare for... Read More >

THE DEVIL IS A LIAR August 23, 2010 Oh what a day, what a day. Today I woke up at 5 am to pray for the day’s events. See I had my civil suit deposition today.  I knew it would be stressful because of all the  feelings that would be... Read More >

ABILITY TO CHOOSE August 22, 2010 The God-given ability to choose. I chose to get up out of bed this morning at 5:30 AM before anyone else was up. I chose to walk to the back of the tier to pray and work out. When the lights blindly... Read More >

HOPE August 21, 2010 Jay has been in NY all week for court, which was on 8-20.  We didn't hear until today on ESPN how it went. Now it’s the talk of the jail for two reasons:  One, being it’s Jayson Williams, but... Read More >

COMPETITION OF LIFE August 20, 2010 In prison, more so than in the ‘free world,’ everyone is always sizing you up. I experienced this first-hand every time I played basketball and especially during the few times I played soccer. But... Read More >

CLEANING UP August 19, 2011 I have to clean up what I messed up, an impossible deed by the world’s standards.--and mine. But nothing is impossible by the Lord’s standards. By Him, I am forgiven; by the world I am forbidden.... Read More >

DOING SOMETHING DIFFERENT August 18, 2010 I thought I would do things a bit differently today. I wanted to write down my thoughts as the day goes on. Its 5:45 am, only two other inmates are up on the tier besides me. One is in the bathroom... Read More >

INTERESTING COMMENT August 17, 2010 My mom mails me all of the comments from the blog. I take everyone’s opinion with a joyful spirit because whether it is negative or positive—it all motivates me equally. I am abundantly thankful... Read More >

CONSIDER YOUR WAYS! August 16, 2010 August 16 ... Read More >

ACE August 15, 2010 Playing cards last night triggered something that my mother had relayed to me from an idea of one of my brothers. An extremely important life lesson came to me while I was throwing out the last card... Read More >

RECITAL OR LIFESTYLE? August 14, 2010 I often get asked what Proverbs 3:5 is because it is tattooed on my arm. I usually just recite it off the top of my dome like the Pledge of Allegiance, the National Anthem, and the Lord’s prayer--... Read More >

HOW WOULD YOU REACT? August 13, 2010 Here is a piece of prison mentality that blows my mind. I will do my best to set the scene and mood before going into details. Well this particular night, the lights on the tier went off ten minutes... Read More >

TESTED August 12, 2010 Just one of those days. It was dreary outside, but cool, which helped the atmosphere on the tier. I went to morning rec and did soccer drills by myself on the basketball pavement. I usually only get... Read More >

TOO SPIRITUAL? August 11, 2010 I was having an internal battle the past few months, and I began to struggle every time I would sit down to write my thoughts. See, I have been receiving a lot of mail filled with encouragement and... Read More >

WHY WASTE PAIN? August 10, 2010 The South Jersey Traffic Safety Alliance (SJTSA) interview went well, and it was great to see the crew (Teresa, Wayne, and Mike). The interview brought me back to sentencing day, and that was a hard... Read More >

NOT CEASING August 9, 2010 So many thoughts! I have so many ideas in my head, but don’t know where to begin. So let’s see? The mail came in and I received so many encouraging pieces from all over the country: Washington,... Read More >

SHOWING RESTRAINT August 8, 2010 One of the hardest things to do in this environment is to show restraint. Constant interaction with the same people 24/7 brings out slander and gossip. I've witnessed a story change a zillion times as... Read More >

WHAT'S THE POINT? August 7, 2010 I began a letter this morning at 8:30 am and I didn't finish it until 11:30 am because a debate/conversation broke out about life and purpose. I found this very funny because I just wrote about... Read More >

TIME FLIES WHEN... August 6, 2010 I can’t believe I am already into my 8th month of incarceration. It honestly feels like just a week. I don’t know where the time is going, but I know, I am making the absolute best out of it. ... Read More >

JOHN AND PRINCIPESSA August 5, 2010 Today is my niece Alivia's birthday. She turned five years old, and she was just four months old when her father, my oldest brother, passed away. It seems like yesterday that our family was planning... Read More >

LET MY LIGHT SHINE August 2, 2010 It’s 10:05 pm now. I just sat at the table on my tier for one full hour without writing a single thing. I guess you can say I zoned out. But the entire time, I was talking to myself, (in my... Read More >

MY LIFE August 1, 2010 I received a lot of pictures today from friends and family, and they were of all sorts of events and occasions that are taking place on the outside. I saw success in the form of still photos, as my... Read More >

BELLY OF A WHALE July 31, 2010 I slept beautifully last night and was back at it at 5:30 am. I’m into the book of Jonah in the Bible and I read through it three times today and some thoughts really hit me along with the readings... Read More >

BOTH MEN JUMPED July 30, 2010 There is not too much in this place that affects me anymore. Now, it's not that prison is enjoyable by any means. It takes constant effort and thought control to keep my attitude and perspective in... Read More >

A LETTER FROM SOMEONE NAMED "P" (LAST NAME "RIDE") July 29, 2010 Dear Matt, ... Read More >

MOVEMENT CONTROL July 28, 2010 I was called down to movement control this morning for the Star Ledger to take some pictures for the story they are doing. Now here's the problem with getting called down to movement control in front... Read More >

INCREASING AND DECREASING July 27, 2010 Our tier got raided last night... (No big deal), except the only thing that gets to me is my OCD neatness. My stuff is so organized and when the CO's come through, they turn everything upside down.... Read More >

THINGS UNSEEN July 26, 2010 Nothing crazy today. Work in the am and rec in the afternoon. I'm doing nothing but body weight sets in the yard: push ups, pull ups, dips, and hand stand push ups on the wall-Nicholas Cage style from... Read More >

SURPRISED July 25, 2010 I had a pleasant surprise today when they called me out of my morning class to the interview room. I wasn't expecting anybody, so I said a quick prayer and proceeded to movement control. Now anytime... Read More >

MACARONI July 24, 2010 It cooled off tremendously on the tier, which brings people back to life as you can see by the activity and chatter all around. As I write, an argument is brewing about a macaroni found in the sink. ... Read More >

BURIED OR PLANTED? July 23, 2010 Beautiful day of rest Sunday. This is one thing it seems the Department of Corrections modeled after the first days of creation, because on Sundays in prison, there is not much movement and it truly... Read More >

PLANS FOR GOOD July 22, 2010 "CALL TO ME AND I WILL ANSWER YOU AND SHOW YOU GREAT AND MIGHTY THINGS, WHICH YOU DO NOT KNOW" Jeremiah 33:3 Turk left today after eight and a half years in prison. He called me his nephew.... Read More >

BODY LANGUAGE July 21, 2010 Still going strong with the morning routine and I've added "Purpose Driven Life" by Rick Warren to my morning readings.. Going into the mess hall this morning, I didn't do anything differently that I... Read More >

WAITING July 20, 2010 "Just waiting on this date," "Waiting to see parole," "Waiting on my time." These are some of the answers I often hear in response to the question: "What's going on?" I have talked about wa... Read More >

ACCUSED July 19, 2010 It’s 4:15 pm on the tier, and already a blessed and eventful day. The Star Ledger came and interviewed me for about an hour and a half this morning. I believe the interview went very well, and the... Read More >

FALLING STAR July 18, 2010 I woke up a little before 5 am this morning to jingling keys because 2 Corrections Officers came in to take my Bunkie to court. From that point on, I was up and waited for Jay to awake for our work... Read More >

ARE YOU LISTENING? July 17, 2010 In a tier environment, your privacy is your bunk area, and your peace has to be your bed. When inmates want to escape the chaos of the tier, they just retire to their area to relax, read, sleep,... Read More >

DREAMING AWAKE July 16, 2010 It is a gorgeous day outside and I just finished the book, "David: A Man of Passion and Destiny" by Charles Swindoll. Very powerful book that puts King David's life into perspective so that we can... Read More >

IF THE DEVIL ONLY KNEW July 15, 2010 Today is a day which I fast each week. I have been doing it for several months and it hasn’t been that bad. I usually pray all day and keep my mind on things above as opposed to things in front of... Read More >

HALL OF FAITH July 14, 2010 So much talk the past few days about LeBron James going to Miami. No doubt, Lebron will be a future Hall of Famer. No doubt his hard work, dedication, and commitment has brought him to where he is... Read More >

SHOW ME YOUR CHARACTER July 13, 2010 Very weird weather day. First it was raining and dreary, but then it cleared up a bit and was sunny and humid. Toward the end of rec time, it began to storm with thunder and lightning so they had to... Read More >

ATTITUDE CHANGES EVERYTHING July 12, 2010 In prison, everybody's story is so unique. Despite similarities, no two sets of circumstances are identical. Even though the charges may be the same, the factors surrounding each inmate's case are... Read More >

TEAM 5511 July 11, 2010 I was so preoccupied yesterday with the “Hidden Books of the Bible,” that I forgot to write about the 2010 Mid State Horseshoe Champions. The rec department tries very hard to incorporate some... Read More >

PUZZLED July 10, 2010 As always, another relaxing Sunday. Some beautiful truths during the morning TV church services about putting actions behind your faith. After morning rec, I did some reading and writing, until I was... Read More >

WHAT'S YOUR ANGLE? July 9, 2010 "Premeditation" is a heck of a word in our legal system. In prison, there are several individuals who have committed "premeditated acts." I have heard this word used many times and it's never in a... Read More >

A LETTER FROM THE INSIDE July 8, 2010 It's noontime on the Tier. Already had morning rec and it was 85 degrees and then all of a sudden it started to pour. It rained for about 30 minutes, but it felt good. Everybody just continued to... Read More >

DODGED A BULLET July 7, 2010 Talk about dodging a bullet, JJ is back from lock up. No charges and all allegations cleared up. It was unbelievable and his face was brighter than ever. I am so relieved; he is back and will... Read More >

WHAT I AM July 6, 2010 The start of another week, Monday, a day I thought I would never look forward to. But now in prison, I absolutely adore Mondays and getting back into a healthy routine after a long, slow weekend. In... Read More >

I LOOK FORWARD TO... July 5, 2010 The start of another week, Monday, a day I thought I would never look forward to. But now in prison, I absolutely adore Mondays and getting back into a healthy routine after a long, slow weekend. In... Read More >

FIREWORKS July 4, 2010 My first 4th of July in prison and I haven’t heard one person say “Happy 4th of July.” Holidays in prison are very dull and are no different from any other day, very sad, but it is what you... Read More >

DON'T PANIC July 3, 2010 I woke up early this morning with back spasms. I'm not sure if I slept wrong on it or if it is from lifting/running during rec. Regardless I skipped both rec's today and just relaxed on the tier. I... Read More >

DARK STORM July 2, 2010 It’s Friday before 4th of July weekend and the only American flag in sight is the patch on the Correction Officer’s uniforms. How ironic to be celebrating Independence “Freedom Day” in... Read More >

DON'T WANT TO BE RELIGIOUS July 1, 2010 In prison, there are so many religions. I've met Catholics, Jehovah Witnesses, Muslims, 7th Day Adventists, Buddhists, Christians, and even Wiccans (Male witches). During casual conversation, religion... Read More >

PROBLEM SOLVED June 30, 2010 Last day of June and this month really flew by. Going into my 7th month of being incarcerated and it seems like a blink of an eye. Still absolutely zero complaints and I remain completely content with... Read More >

BE STILL June 29, 2010 Jay woke me up a little before 5 am this morning to get our core workout in before he left for court. Usually upon waking up, I go to the back of the tier and just lay on the sheets that we place out... Read More >

DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH June 28, 2010 They say that the most beautiful diamonds are found in the deepest, darkest, and dangerous caverns/mines. Prior to being this diamond, the solids are lumps of dirty, dusty, and formless coals, which... Read More >

APPLAUDED BUT REJECTED June 27, 2010 Beautiful Monday after a long, hot weekend. It's still as hot as can be. In fact, it is 97 degrees on the tier today. But it's good to get back to a normal routine after a slow-movement weekend. I... Read More >

BEGINNING TO END June 26, 2010 There has been a huge turnover in the prison this past month--especially in my tier. I see a lot of new faces. Either inmates going home, or going to a different unit because of status. Since I have... Read More >

NEWSFLASH June 25, 2010 It's only 7:45 am and already a "piece of prison mentality." Tier sanitation begins cleaning the tier around 7:30 am after the mass movement. This morning, Jay decided to move all the foot lockers so... Read More >

DEAD END June 24, 2010 It was 87 degrees on the tier today and I heard tomorrow is going to be even hotter. I had planned on getting away from the sticky humid tier and going into my classroom which is air conditioned. But... Read More >

TREASURE OR TROUBLE June 23, 2010 "In the house of the righteous there is much treasure, But in the revenue of the wicked there is trouble" Proverbs 15:6 I just got done having a very interesting conversation with another i... Read More >

NOT WHAT I WANTED~JUST WHAT I NEEDED June 22, 2010 A lot of time in prison is spent talking about what we want in life and what we think we need in life. Most of these wants and needs are based on what will make us happy. As I listen to several... Read More >

CORRECTION AT IT'S FINEST June 21, 2010 Monday, Monday started off with a bang. Monday's are the days inmates can turn in their sheets and pillow cases for new ones, so mostly everyone on the tier, (well not everyone), turns in their sheets... Read More >

DADDY'S DAY June 20, 2010 Ryan and Fila visited me this morning, and it was great to see them and catch up. The visit hall was not as packed as I thought it would be, being that it's Father's Day. It was sad to see some of the... Read More >

BAD NEWS June 19, 2010 One of the craziest interactive days I have witnessed yet in prison is "Canteen Day." Canteen day is when we get our store-room orders from hygiene products to junk food to beverages. Oh yes, and the... Read More >

BLAME GAME June 18, 2010 Another hot, sticky day on the tier. Very relaxing Saturday though and I was able to finish the beautiful book of Psalms. King David’s level of praise was completely out of this world. I often... Read More >

INSIDE OUT June 17, 2010 “For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” I Sam. 16:7 ... Read More >

NEW OPPORTUNITIES June 16, 2010 It’s 7 am sharp and I just got back from morning mess excited, yet I am feeling nervous for another inmate named Nafi, who is being released today after serving 7 ½ years in prison. I have become... Read More >

THE "NEGATIVITY FAMILY" June 15, 2010 So here’s a piece of prison mentality for you: A lot of inmates are repeat offenders and several of them have been to this institution two sometimes, maybe three times before. A new guy came into... Read More >

KEEP PLANTING June 14, 2010 My Pastor from home came to visit me this morning. We just talked about everything from soccer to family and much more. It’s a beautiful thing to feel that support and encouragement and it was... Read More >

IDLE MODE June 13, 2010 I have been completely exhausted all day today for some reason. For the first time in a long time, I laid down after work and honestly didn’t feel like getting up. I was just completely drained... Read More >

ADDICTED TO THE AFFLICTED June 12, 2010 Just got done a beautiful visit with my parents. They filled me in on a lot of stuff at home, and I filled them in on a lot of stuff in here. I was relieved to hear that my Aunt Dee is doing alright... Read More >

BITTERSWEET June 11, 2010 Late night on the tier. I was up at 5:00 am this morning working out and doing my morning devotionals. After breakfast, we decided to clean the entire tier. Now this is supposed to be tier... Read More >

OUT OF THE BOX June 10, 2010 The World Cup in South Africa started today and I already watched the opening game, Mexico vs.S. Africa tied 1-1. The next game, which I have the majority of the tier watching is at 2:30 pm. One... Read More >

DESTINED TO FAIL June 9, 2010 No work today at Mid State University, so I did some mass letter writing and I finished the book “Blink” by Malcolm Gladwell. It was a very thought- provoking book, and I learned a lot about... Read More >

FORGIVEN June 8, 2010 I had an extra early start this morning because I got out of bed at 4:30 a.m. thinking it was my normal arising time of 5:30 a.m. I was wide awake, so I decided to take a quick shower, and then I... Read More >

JOB'S WIVES June 7, 2010 Good Monday thus far. Started off with the 5:30 am jumpstart on the day and I am into Job in “Bible in One Year.” I’m also halfway through Malcolm Gladwell’s “Blink” already very... Read More >

BE STILL June 6, 2010 I slept in today til 7:30 am, yep--- I said slept in. I would have never imagined in a million years that sleeping in to me now would be waking up at 8 am. I used to think sleeping in was not waking... Read More >

HURRY UP AND WAIT June 5, 2010 I didn’t get into bed til after midnight last night, and was up at 5:20 am, so needless to say, I was exhausted all morning and was going to skip morning rec, until I got my second wind around 8:30... Read More >

PERSPECTIVE June 4, 2010 Friday 4 PM and I just got done afternoon rec outside in the 89 degree weather. I lifted with Jack and another guy we call Bo-Jack. I always mess with them and say, “Body by Bo-Jack Moore”... Read More >

STAY FOCUSED, MOVE FORWARD June 3, 2010 Another hot day on the tier, but I was blessed to be able to go to my classroom for work in the a.m. hours where it is air conditioned. Work was slow, so I was able to write for about an hour. After... Read More >

THE GOLDEN RULE June 2, 2010 I just realized that today is my brother Mike’s 28th birthday. That’s so crazy to me because my oldest brother John passed away at 28. I never realized how young that actually is, until I... Read More >

PERFECT TIMING June 1, 2010 The first day of June and I started it off with a bang. We had early rec this morning and J.J. and Jayson and I decided to have a hand ball tournament. This is never a good idea for us to compete... Read More >

SECOND THOUGHTS May 31, 2010 Last day of May and already into June. I can’t believe how fast each month is going by. It seems like these past three days took forever because there is not much movement on the weekends, plus... Read More >

BRING HIM GLORY May 30, 2010 Beautiful Sunday and it was actually a relaxing day of rest. I slept in and then watched a TV preacher. The preacher talked about being excellent at work and how striving to be the best at whatever... Read More >

DEAD TIME May 28, 2010 Long typical Saturday. Same old refreshing 5:30 am routine, but then I napped from 8am to 11am. We had afternoon rec and it was nice and hot out. Now, I’m relaxing on the tier for the remainder of... Read More >

COMMENTS May 27, 2010 So many talented people in prison. Confinement has a way of bringing out God-given talents that you never knew existed. A lot of these guys, including myself, would probably never be writing anything,... Read More >

REALITY CHECK May 26, 2010 It is already Thursday and I have no idea where these days/weeks are going. I am still taking it one day at a time because yesterday is gone and tomorrow doesn’t exist. It was beautiful outside... Read More >

THY WILL BE DONE May 25, 2010 I received a letter the other day that really got me thinking. The person posed a question about something I have asked myself often in here. It’s one of those questions that a lot of people... Read More >

"MISSING OUT" May 24, 2010 Long Monday today. I only worked in the am, and then actually did nothing all afternoon. I was completely exhausted for some reason. Jay told me some funny crazy drama went on last night around 2-3... Read More >

MAIL CALL May 23, 2010 I had my expected visit with my parents and the Lassor’s this afternoon which went very well. It was great to see Mr. and Mrs. Lassor. I also had an unexpected visit this morning from my brother... Read More >

CEASE FIRE May 22, 2010 Already an interesting morning, as I was finally introduced to the leader of one of the gangs. He has been active for 25 years and is trying to make a change for the good. He is the one who... Read More >

PERSEVERANCE May 21, 2010 It’s 8am and I just got done writing my morning letters. When we got back from mess, Jay wanted to figure out how we can donate our state pay to an “indigent” fund. Some of these guys have... Read More >

COMMON DENOMINATOR May 20, 2010 I was off from work today, so I went outside for morning rec. It was beautiful outside and there weren’t many people out there, so I was able to pretty much do everything (from lifting to handball... Read More >

REFINING FIRE May 19, 2010 “The pressures of difficult times makes us value life. Every time our life is spared and given back to us after a trial, it is like a new beginning. We better understand its value and thereby... Read More >

LIFE'S ASSIGNMENT May 18, 2010 I completed Conflict Resolution today, which brings an end to any programs I am currently taking, and guarantees me a certificate of completion from the DOC, then the state can judge my prison time ... Read More >

MISSING JOHN May 17, 2010 I just completed II Kings this morning in “Bible in a Year” program. I also drafted a program proposal letter to the Governor, the DOC, and the administration here. I am not exactly sure how our... Read More >

"ALMOST" DOESN'T COUNT... May 16, 2010 I just got back from my visit with Mike and Anthony. It was refreshing to see them and catch up. Most of the time, we talked about what goes on behind these walls and I usually get them laughing by... Read More >

TALK IS CHEAP May 15, 2010 I had nothing to do all day today except afternoon rec. Same old morning routine ---which is a joy. ... Read More >

FORGIVEN May 14, 2010 “No one can sin beyond the Lord’s capacity to forgive.” (In Touch, May 10) ... Read More >

EARLY IN THE MORNING May 13, 2010 Today is Thursday and a day that I fast. ... Read More >

NOT GONNA LET IT GET ME DOWN May 12, 2010 Long Monday today. I only worked in the am, and then actually did nothing all afternoon. I was completely exhausted for some reason. Jay told me some funny crazy drama went on last night around 2-3... Read More >

UNDIVIDED ATTENTION May 11, 2010 A piece of prison mentality: A lot of inmates believe they could have played some sort of professional sport or made it as a professional entertainer. There are hoards of “should have been”... Read More >

WAITING May 10, 2010 Monday, Monday….I actually enjoy Monday’s in prison because it’s the start of a new week and the weekends are long and slow here. I worked both in the morning and afternoon, but had no rec... Read More >

MOTHER'S DAY May 9, 2010 Today’s visit went very well with my team chaplain from North Jersey. I haven’t seen him since I left the New Jersey Ironmen in 2008. We just caught up the entire one and half hours, and I... Read More >

BREAKTHROUGH May 8, 2010 Rec this morning was very good. Jack had a visit, so it was just Jay and I working out. We ran a little, then played 1 v 1 full court basketball, then into a hand ball tournament. I came inside... Read More >

GOOD MORNING May 7, 2010 ... Read More >

THANKFUL May 6, 2010 ... Read More >

JAYSON SPEAKS May 5, 2010 I sat down to write my thoughts tonight, and Jay took my journal and pen and wanted to write an experience down in my journal. So, today’s entry is written by Jayson Williams: ... Read More >

MAKE IT HAPPEN. May 4, 2010 Sitting in the classroom right now in the air conditioning. There are not many guys here probably because they went outside for rec. I had my next to last class in “Conflict Resolution,” this... Read More >

BREAK THE CYCLE May 3, 2010 Another day, another $1.75, literally. Work was nice though because it allowed me to get off the tier. The tier on a hot day is disgustingly humid. The brick walls keep the heat in like an oven. ... Read More >

LEGACY OF FAITH May 2, 2010 Today is Sunday and I just got done my visit with Jay and Lauren. It was great to see them and catch up. I believe the visit was very productive for all of us because we talked about the importance... Read More >

LUKEWARM AND DANGEROUS May 1, 2010 It is already May 1st, unbelievable. Tonight is a late night, so it makes for such a long day. I wrote four letters this morning because I had spare time. It was like 85 degrees today at afternoon... Read More >

AFTER HIS HEART April 30, 2010 I just got back from work and I figured I would describe a piece of prison mentality. This morning at 7 am after breakfast, Jay suggested we each pick out a biblical character and tomorrow we try to... Read More >

ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER April 29, 2010 Long day for some reason and this is the first time I was able to sit down and write my thoughts. I received some more uplifting mail today and that is always a blessing. At work in the afternoon, I... Read More >

PRESSING FORWARD April 28, 2010 I have nothing the rest of the night, so I figured I’d take some time to write. Nothing crazy today, worked the am and pm. After lunch, Jay and I sat down with another guy on our tier who is a... Read More >

"SPEAK" YOUR FUTURE April 27, 2010 All programs, classes, work, rec, etc. were cancelled this morning for all down stairs units because our tiers got raided. We had to leave tier by tier and go get checked in the gym. They rubbed our... Read More >

TONGUE TROUBLE April 26, 2010 I woke up at 5:30 am this morning and felt re-charged. In fact, I had to wake up Jay for the first time for our morning core work out. It’s impossible to ever understand unless you are here, but... Read More >

FREEDOM IN SURRENDER April 25, 2010 Just got back from my visit with my Aunt Dee, Johnny, and Alex. The visit went well, but fast as usual. It’s great to see people and familiar faces, especially family. I was just telling them day... Read More >

POISON IVY April 24, 2010 Saturday is the slowest day here because lights are on in the tier from 6am to midnight. Today Jay and I woke up at 6 am to work out and did our normal morning routine, but we decided to go back to... Read More >

HIS PLANS April 23, 2010 Let me start with the fun stuff today. First off, I completed the SEALLS program today, so I get a certificate of completion, which is good, I guess. (But pointless). I was so exhausted all day... Read More >

STUMBLING BLOCKS April 22, 2010 “What is it that God wants me to do, say, and be today in order to bring him glory?” (God’s Purpose) ... Read More >

ATTITUDE MATTERS April 21, 2010 Today some people received food packages from an outside pizzeria. It is called an incentive package and it is offered to those who have been here a year, completed a program or are charge-free. So,... Read More >

HIDDEN WISDOM April 20, 2010 Today was beautiful outside. I was able to go out in the yard after lunch from 1:00 to 3:00. I did some push-ups and a chest work out, then we played basketball. It was a game of old-heads versus... Read More >

BLESSED BY A STRANGER April 19, 2010 I had an extra early start this morning, Jay and I got up at 5:30 am to work out and were done by 6 am, which allowed me extra time to read and reflect on my morning devotions. I'm almost finished... Read More >

SHATTERED BARRIERS April 18, 2010 I actually slept in today til 10:45. I'm not sure what got into me, but it was refreshing to sleep and actually sleep through the morning chaos. I went to lunch with Jack at 11:30 and had egg salad ... Read More >

PRISON DRAMA April 17, 2010 It's 11 am and there is already so much to write about. Some prison drama and some encouraging thoughts and it's only before noontime. I wasn't a "player" in this scene, but I was asked my advice. ... Read More >

DESPITE MY SIN April 16, 2010 The 6 am work out was extra intense this morning because we pigged out last night, well at least I did. After breakfast, I wrote two more letters and helped Jay label and stuff his letters. I had... Read More >

FOR THE GOOD April 15, 2010 I am off from work today because of a job fair. I took that time to write more than the normal amount of letters. Now I’m just waiting around for the tier barber to give me a hair cut. I can’t... Read More >

BEEN ROBBED? April 14, 2010 Same old refreshing morning routine workout, then letter writing, then off to work. After work, I went and lifted with Chris. Nothing exciting all day thus far. I received about 14 letter/cards... Read More >

PRISON PEACE April 13, 2010 Today I woke up at 6 am for my morning workout and totally forgot it was my birthday until Jay said something, (today is his daughter Wizdom's birthday too, she turned 6). After breakfast, I wrote... Read More >

REST FOR THE WEARY April 12, 2010 It's 11 am and there is already so much to write about. Some prison drama and some encouraging thoughts and it's only before noontime. I wasn't a "player" in this scene, but I was asked my advice. ... Read More >

NOT MY WILL April 11, 2010 Again and again, we find ourselves being broken in order that our old nature might be chipped away, a rough spot in our character may be sanded, or an unknown talent might be revealed." (p.12, The... Read More >

ARE YOU A THREAT? April 10, 2010 I woke up at 6 am for my work out with ####. Okay, my mother said, everyone keeps asking who #### is? I initially wanted to protect his privacy because of his celebrity, but he says it’s okay to... Read More >

WASTEFUL PROGRAMS April 9, 2010 I had nothing today but the SEALL Program in the morning and then inside gym at night. The SEALL Program, (Successful Employment and Lawful Living), is pathetic. I am not trying to be negative, but... Read More >

QUICK TEST April 8, 2010 It would have been the same old morning routine, but the bathroom water fountain began to flood. That took about an hour to clean up-water everywhere. I'm off from work, so I am just hanging out... Read More >

GOING THRU THE MOTIONS: April 7, 2010 The sun kicked my butt today-so hot! It really was beautifully out though. #### and I attempted to do a 2 man NBA shooting workout, but was interrupted by people wanting to join. #### is too nice. The... Read More >

NEVER LOOK BACK April 6, 2010 I thought it would be the same old morning routine, but my program was canceled due to a code 33 (a fight). Apparently someone got whacked with a broom stick then another guy jumped in and got hit... Read More >

SHAME April 5, 2010 I’m off from work this entire week, so I was able to go outside rec at 8:30 to 10 am. It was 80 degrees. #### and I woke up at 6 am and did our morning work out. Jack and I went to breakfast. I... Read More >

EASTER SUNDAY April 4, 2010 Today is Easter Sunday, but same old prison routine. Prison doesn’t change anything about the day. No recognition. Tonight is Sunday church service to recognize Jesus Resurrection. I am looking... Read More >

IT'S HARD TO CRY IN PRISON (this is a letter given to Matt by a fellow inmate) April 3, 2010 This is the letter that one of the new guys on my tier gave to me. I was definitely touched. ... Read More >

DEFINE "PRISON" April 3, 2010 I just got done my visit with Mike and Ant. We just carried on the whole entire time, basically me telling them indescribable prison stories the best I could. I talked with Anthony about the... Read More >

GOOD FRIDAY April 2, 2010 4/2/10 GOOD FRIDAY QUOTE OF THE YEAR: “IT’S HARD ENOUGH TO LIVE WITH ONE WOMAN, IMAGINE LIVING WITH 37 GUYS.” J.J. Today is Good Friday. Just got done two letters: one to Chris ... Read More >

SURELY April 1, 2010 I’m off from work for the next week, so I figured I would work on the book I am thinking about writing, “Purpose Driven Incarceration.” A few inmates caught my ear and talked about an hour and... Read More >

TEMPER, TEMPER! March 31, 2010 I had a great morning today but I "fell" this afternoon. I began the day at 6 am with my workout and prayer. I memorized a Bible verse at work and kept good thoughts on my mind. After lunch, I went... Read More >

THANKFUL FOR AFFLICTION March 30, 2010 Woke up at 6 am sharp. ### and I did our morning routine and then prayed. What a beautiful way to start the day. Later, I went to a class called "Conflict Resolution." This program is so... Read More >

WHERE'S THE EVIDENCE? March 29, 2010 #### and I committed to working out at 6 am every morning. (just sit-ups, crunches, planks, etc. ) Today we started and ended in prayer. Work was cancelled, so I wrote a few letters. After writing... Read More >

FROM BLESSINGS TO CURSING March 28, 2010 Today I had a visit with my parents. It's extremely refreshing to see them, and I know they are at peace, just like me. It is also Palm Sunday. Tonight's church service was amazing. The Pastor... Read More >

QUESTION GOD? March 27, 2010 Church tonight was good. I twas the Spanish service, but they had a translator. #### and I went anyway. The sermon aroused an important question that we all need to ask ourselves: "Who are we to... Read More >

TEMPORARY VERSUS ETERNAL March 26, 2010 Because God is sovereignly in control, accidents are just incidents in God's good and perfect plan. (Daily Inspirational for Purpse Driven LIfe, p163) ... Read More >

NEED TO READ March 25, 2010 In my bunk late last night, talking to some guys. We talked about all sorts of stuff. I went to work, then went outside for rec. I played soccer for the second time since I've been here. The guys... Read More >

THOUGHTS BECOME FEELINGS AND THEN ACTIONS March 24, 2010 Another fast day, and back on my bunk reflecting on today. Another typical day in prison, just tried to keep God in my thoughts constantly. I memorized Psalm 55:22 "Cast all of your burdens on the... Read More >

SEASONS CHANGING March 23, 2010 I slept unbelievable last night. So good that I woke up at 5 am refreshed. I went to breakfast, and then came back at 7 am to write my morning letters. I completed one before my celebrity friend... Read More >

GROUND HOG DAY March 22, 2010 "God is never in a hurry. He spends years preparing those He plans to greatly use, and never thinks of the days of preparation as being too long or boring." (Streams p124) I'm trying to ... Read More >

DO UNTO OTHERS March 21, 2010 Today it was refreshing to see Flop, Ryan, Fila, and Mike. We just told stories and were cracking up the whole time. I told them about life in here and my book idea. Mike is gonna purchase the... Read More >

HIDE THY WORD March 20, 2010 Today was beautiful out. Around 65 degrees. I played some basketball and lifted, but mostly enjoyed the sun. My new celebrity friend, ###, handed me a piece of paper with the verses Hebrews 13:16... Read More >

GOT TROUBLES? March 19, 2010 Already tested numerous times this morning. First, I get called down to medic, and did not get out until 10:30 causing me to miss a mandatory program. So I spoke with the impatient lady in charge,... Read More >

HAPPY BIRTHDAY March 18, 2010 Another day, another dollar. Literally. Just on my bunk, watching the zoo--same thing everyday. Mindless idle time. Get this. Today was probably the first time in prison history "Happy Birthday"... Read More >

FULLY GOD AND FULLY MAN March 17, 2010 How can we ever possibly think this life is hard compared to what Jesus went through? Fully God and fully human. He felt everything we feel, yet lived without sin. Jesus left his home in heaven to... Read More >

WHAT MAKES U LIGHT UP? March 16, 2010 And the circus was full throttle this morning. Everyone still hovering around #####. As I was writing my morning letters, #### approached me to talk. We shot the breeze for a few minutes. Everyone... Read More >

HOUSE DIVIDED March 15, 2010 Okay so our celebrity #### arrived today. They moved him in my tier. He looks thin, certainly a product of CRAF. People in here are going crazy over him. Everyone thinks they are going to befriend... Read More >

TRUE PEACE March 14, 2010 "Peace is not he absense of problems, but rather the presence of God." (devotional p 15) It was great to see my parents and especially my Aunt Dee. Church was amazing tonight. The Reveren... Read More >

TIME IS TIME March 13, 2010 Today was a great day! I slept in, and then worked out with Jack and Johnny. Jack and I talked about his visit with his family. It must be so hard to be here when you have a wife and kids. I was... Read More >

THE BEAUTY OF SURRENDER March 12, 2010 There was almost a fight this morning already. One of the guys saw someone creeping around looking to steal stuff. So the guy was confronted. He denied it with "gangsta talk" and tried to offer... Read More >

POWER OF A TOUCH March 11, 2010 I didn't get to go to my job today because they brought the dogs upstairs to do a raid. And on top of that, there were two "code 33's" (fights), which ceases all inmate movement. So I took the time... Read More >

ALWAYS REMEMBER March 10, 2010 Everyone keeps saying, "I never want to remember this place/experience." I, on the other hand, never want to forget this place, and I will always remember this experience. The place where I found... Read More >

PURPOSE DRIVEN PRISON March 9, 2010 Work was canceled this morning, so I wrote back to some friends. So far I've read Max Lucado's: "3:16 The Numbers of Hope," "He Chose the Nails," "He Still Moves Stones." I'm reading now Lucado's ... Read More >

LOST SHEEP WITHOUT A SHEPHERD March 8, 2010 Today went really fast, I played checkers with Johnny. I can't believe how many child molesters and rapists are here. Some who I would never think. After lunch, I didn't have to work beca... Read More >

MARCH 7, 2009 March 7, 2010 One year ago, March 7, 2009, I made a bad decision that cost one man his life, his family and friends pain, and shame to my family and community. One year ago today, I made a decision that changed... Read More >

NO ONE THINKS IT CAN HAPPEN TO THEM March 6, 2010 Today I slept till 10 am. It's hard to do so though because the lights are on at 6 am and it is very loud from 7 am on. I had a good visit with my parents and Ant. The visits go so fast, but it's... Read More >

DECISIONS DETERMINE ETERNITY March 5, 2010 7:00 Am "Everyone who believes can have eternal life..." NOT "everyone who achieves." NOT "everyone who succeeds" NOT "everyone who agrees." BUT everyone who BELIEVES (Continu... Read More >

WHAT SUSTAINS ME March 4, 2010 Tonight my tier won the prison basketball championship. Oh what a sight that was. Rumor has it I made the 1st team all Mid State All Star Team (HA). Apparently we won a pizza party. I played solid... Read More >

PEACE OF MIND March 3, 2010 Every activity can be transformed into an act of worship when you do it for the praise, glory and pleasure of God. 11:30 PM Tomorrow is the prison basketball league championship game. We ... Read More >

FINISH THE RACE March 1, 2010 This life is but a temporary assignment. Everything in this world will pass away. How do we set our mind to these truths? If we lived like this world was just temporary (and constantly thought... Read More >

IF I COULD TAKE BACK THE MOMENT February 28, 2010 February is done. The month flew by. I'm stronger in my faith today than I was yesterday, or a month ago. Today was a great day. Same as usual, but Jack attended church with me. I wish the... Read More >

LEFT ALONE February 27, 2010 Today's visit went well with Mike and Kirk. I met Jack's wife Cindy. It's refreshing to catch up with those guys. As the weeks go by, I realize I'm not missing much. In fact, I'm "left alone"... Read More >

FATHER FORGIVE THEM February 26, 2010 John 8: 10-11 Jesus says, "I also don't judge you guilty. You may go now, but don't sin anymore." Ever wonder how God reacts when you fail, frame the words above and hang them on your heart. Take... Read More >

ANXIOUS THOUGHTS February 25, 2010 I want to grow daily and become more Christ-like weekly. When I look back on a week or month completed, I wanna see improvement with my attitude, self-control, anger, etc. I wanna show love, joy,... Read More >

GOD IS ALWAYS WATCHING February 24, 2010 I have to stop caring what some of these inmates think and start worrying only about what God thinks. I find myself trying to perform in basketball to show the other inmates, instead of playing to... Read More >

BITTER OR BROKEN February 23, 2010 So I was told today that I'm not allowed to receive any more books. I told my dilemma to my teacher that I work with, and he said I can donate them to his classroom. That will be ideal. I was... Read More >

USE ME February 22, 2010 "Your suffering may be in the present--but before long you will only see it backward" (Streams). A man who says, "Use Me Lord" will go through a rough process. After my friend Matt Lassor ...